It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Doug Noll, founder of Prison of Peace, discusses success stories, affect labeling, and recidivism rates in transforming inmates into peacemakers. The program's implementation, growth, and reasons for success are explored, offering hope for reducing conflict in communities.

“From Serving Life to a Life of Service.” This is the motto of the Prison of Peace program created by Doug Noll and Laurel Kaufer, two lawyers with big hearts from California. Through Prison of Peace, incarcerated individuals are led through intensive workshops as they progress through the various program levels from Peacemaker to Certified Trainer, mastering the art of communication and conflict resolution, enabling them to create safer, more peaceful lives for themselves and others, in prison and beyond.In today’s episode, the first of a two-parter, Bill and Megan are joined by Doug Noll who will talk about the transformative Prison of Peace program. They discuss:what the program is and how it workshow it startedwhat led inmates to being incarcerated (think trauma background)program successwhether it can work for everyoneListen in as Doug talks about “Listening people into existence” in this first episode of two.Links & Other NotesDOUG NOLL’S WEBSITE & BOOKShttps://dougnoll.com/podcast/high-conflict-institute/https://www.prisonofpeace.org/Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:56) - Doug Noll and Personal Transformation in Inmate Populations (02:21) - Doug's Background (03:54) - Questions (07:47) - Prison of Peace (15:22) - Affect Labeling (18:34) - Back to Prison of Peace (29:47) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Part 2 with Doug Noll

In workplace conflict, handling complaints, upset employees and high conflict situations is taxing, leaving many organizations feeling stuck or without options other than termination or throwing hands up in the air and living with it. But there is a method to help employees learn necessary skills — a method called New Ways for Work: Personal Skills for Productive Relationships.In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Cherolyn Knapp, lawyer, mediator, workplace investigator and HCI’s newest speaker/trainer. Together they will discuss:high conflict situations in the workplacewhether conflict increased during covid and if so, whyobservations about how HR, coaches, management and others handle high conflict situations — and whether what they’re doing is workingNew Ways for Work as a skills-building tool for helping calm high conflict situations by teaching skills how New Ways for Work can help anyone who coaches challenging workplace conflict, including high conflict situationsCherolyn’s top 3 tips for HR, coaches, anyone working with high conflict situationsLinks & Other NotesCOURSENew Ways for Work® Training RegistrationBOOKSNew Ways for Work® Coaching Manualor on Amazon New Ways for Work® Workbookor on AmazonIt’s All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict Peopleor on AmazonBIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communicationor on AmazonARTICLESNew Ways for Work: A New Coaching MethodWhy Can't They Get It? - What to do when coworkers and employees have no idea how they behave.GUEST BIOhttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/aboutOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Meet Cherolyn Knapp (03:42) - Questions (21:01) - New Ways for Work (29:25) - Tips (31:38) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: (33:42) - Wrap Up

Bill, an expert on alienation and estrangement, discusses the differences between the two in high conflict divorces. He emphasizes setting limits in intact families and offers insights on dealing with high conflict people. The episode explores the impact of parental decisions on child relationships and provides practical advice for managing relationships effectively.

Learn strategies for interacting with high conflict personalities, including avoiding trying to give them insight into themselves. Understand the challenges of opening up emotions in relationships with high conflict personalities. Explore how our brains respond to high conflict situations and how to train our amygdala to stay calm. Remember the four key things when dealing with individuals with a high conflict personality.

Explore the theory of high conflict personalities with Bill Eddy, focusing on patterns of behavior like blaming others and extreme emotions. Understand the importance of behavior-focused approaches in dealing with individuals with high-conflict traits. Learn about the challenges in diagnosing personality disorders and effective strategies for managing interactions without labels.

When dealing with high conflict personalities, knowing when to stop trying is crucial. Recognize signs like overreacting or feeling overwhelmed. Setting boundaries and disengaging with empathy are key strategies. The podcast provides valuable insights on navigating relationships with such individuals.

High conflict divorce and separation in the family courts consumes the majority of the courts’ time and resources and provides the most frustration and confusion. This is the second of a two-part episode with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker in our new High Conflict Divorce series, in which we interview leading experts from the high conflict divorce world – attorneys, counselors, custody evaluators, researchers, mediators and those within the courts themselves. In this episode Dr. Amy J.L. Baker, parental alienation expert and author of 9 books, including Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex; The High-Conflict Custody Battle; and Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome will talk with Bill and Megan about:Whether favored parents ever recognize that they’re doing itParental alienation vs. parental estrangement Recommendations for lawyers when a child resists or refuses contactTips for what can be done in mild, moderate, severe casesTips for lawyers and therapistsTips for parents and grandparentsPrograms that can help reconnect a child with a rejected parentLinks & Other NotesWEBSITESDr. Baker’s Websitehttps://www.amyjlbaker.com/New Ways for Familieshttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/new-ways-for-familiesTurning Points for Familieshttps://www.turningpointsforfamilies.com/BOOKSCo-Parenting with a Toxic Exhttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608829588Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndromehttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393705196The High-Conflict Custody Battlehttps://www.amazon.com/The-High-Conflict-Custody-Battle-Accusations/dp/1626250731OTHEROur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganBooks: all of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold.You can also find these show notes at our site.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:25) - Adult Children and Alienation (04:16) - Advice (09:31) - Recognizing You're Alienating (13:19) - Personality Disorders and Labels (16:37) - Evolving the Term (21:47) - Added to the DSM? (24:23) - Treatment (28:32) - Therapists (34:32) - Lawyers (36:24) - Parents (38:53) - Cutting Off Contact (41:09) - Wrapping Up (42:18) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Part 2 of our High Conflict Divorce series

Dr. Amy J.L. Baker, a nationally recognized authority on parental alienation and author of nine insightful books, tackles the challenging dynamics of high-conflict divorces. She defines parental alienation and highlights its prevalence and causes, drawing distinctions from estrangement. The discussion dives into how adult children of alienated parents navigate relationships later in life and offers vital strategies for parents facing alienation. Dr. Baker emphasizes the importance of understanding the emotional toll on families and the role of court systems in addressing these complex issues.

REBROADCASTDomestic ViolenceMegan and Bill are joined by the Honorable Karen Adam and Annette Burns to discuss domestic violence. This is part one of this conversation.Links & Other NotesTHE VIDEO THAT WAS DISCUSSED IN THE EPISODEConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsBIOSBios for Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., Honorable Karen Adam, and Annette Burns, J.D.DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPERTS INTERVIEWED IN THE VIDEOAbi Ajibolade, Executive Director, The Redwood, Toronto, OntarioAmy G. Applegate, JD, Clinical Professor of Law, Maurer School of Law, Indiana University, Bloomington, IndianaLinda Bortell, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist, Bortell Psychological, Inc., Los Angeles, CaliforniaMelissa Brickhouse-Thomas, LCSW, Manager, Victim Services, Glendale Police Dept., Glendale, ArizonaGabrielle Davis, JD, Legal and Policy Advisor, Battered Women’s Justice Project, Minneapolis, MinnesotaLoretta M. Frederick, JD, Senior Legal & Policy Director, Battered Women’s Justice Project, Minneapolis, MinnesotaAnna Harper-Guerrero, LMSW, Executive Vice President & Chief Strategy Officer, Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse, Tucson, ArizonaAmy Holtzworth-Munroe, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Dept. of Psychological & Brain Science, Indiana University, Bloomington, IndianaHilary A. Linton, JD, LLM, Mediator, President, Family Mediation Services (mediate393) Toronto, OntarioJan Maiden, JD, Family Law/Domestic Violence Attorney, Law Office of Jan Maiden, San Diego, CaliforniaWendy Million, City Magistrate, Tucson City Court Domestic Violence Court, Tucson, ArizonaCharles A. Sawchenko, MSW, Police Lieutenant (Ret), Delaware State Police, Dover, DelawareWilliam Spiller, Jr., JD, Family Lawyer and Minor’s Counsel, Law Offices of William Spiller, Jr., Los Angeles, CaliforniaNancy Ver Steegh, MSW, JD, Professor of Law, Mitchell Hamline School of Law, St. Paul, MinnesotaNeil Websdale, PhD, Director, Family Violence Center, Arizona State University, Tempe, ArizonaDavid Wexler, PhD, Director, Relationship Training Institute, San Diego, CaliforniaSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at highconflictinstitute.com/podcast as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Dealing With Domestic Violence (03:27) - Meet Our Guests (05:24) - Impetus Behind DV Video Series (06:19) - Overall Objective (07:31) - Surprises (08:54) - Karen's Motivation (12:46) - Survivor vs. Victim (15:56) - Annette's Motivation (18:28) - Biggest Issues in Divorce & Co-Parenting (28:40) - Intimate Partner Violence vs. DV (30:50) - Coercive Control (33:20) - HCPs (40:19) - Last Words (41:58) - Coming Next Week: Part 2