It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Narcissists: The Great Dividers

Jul 21, 2022

The discussion delves into how narcissists can charm their way into relationships while simultaneously sowing discord. It emphasizes their manipulative tactics and the toxic environments they create, leading to family and workplace rifts. The conversation touches on the importance of clear communication to combat their divisive nature and introduces the BIF method for handling tricky emails. Listeners learn about setting personal boundaries and the significance of focusing on well-being instead of labels when interacting with high-conflict individuals.

23:44

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Quick takeaways

Narcissists create feelings of inadequacy in others while simultaneously displaying charm, leading to confusion about their divisive nature.

Addressing narcissistic behavior through techniques like the BIF response can help maintain boundaries and prevent toxic dynamics.

Deep dives

Understanding Narcissism and Its Impact

Narcissists often create feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in others, making individuals feel small in their presence. Despite their charm and ability to bring people together, they can be significant disruptors, swiftly turning allies into enemies when confronted. For instance, when someone calls out a narcissist's negative behavior, that individual can quickly pivot to vilifying the accuser through distortion campaigns, labeling them as the problem. This behavior creates a large divide between individuals, leading to toxic dynamics in families, workplaces, and social groups.

Intro

4min

The Manipulative Nature of Narcissists and Their Divisive Tactics

3min

Narcissism and Its Impact

10min

Navigating Difficult Communications

5min

Navigating High Conflict: Setting Boundaries and Future Discussions

2min

If you aren’t sure whether you’ve met a narcissist, think back to an interaction in which you went away feeling small, inadequate or even insecure. It’s possible that you may have been around someone with a narcissistic personality. They are often puffed up about themselves and get triggered when they aren’t getting the attention they think they deserve... or are entitled to. Then they go into action, making those around them feel small.

But did you know they are also the Great Dividers? Although it may sound straightforward, it’s often confusing to those around them because they can be the life of the party, bringing people together, which is quite opposite from being a divider.
In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss:

why narcissistic HCPs divide people
how it manifests in 4 settings: family, politics, healthcare, and the workplace
why we don’t see it coming and why we fall for their charm in the beginning
ways to address and prevent succumbing to division
how to handle email communications with narcissistic HCPs

Links & Other Notes

BOOKS

ARTICLES

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

(00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
(02:09) - Narcissists: The Great Dividers
(03:52) - Defining a Narcissist
(08:09) - Splitting
(13:31) - How to Address This
(16:53) - Copying Someone Else In to Make You Look Bad
(21:52) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Are Personality Disorders a Mental Illness?

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