
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.
Latest episodes

May 22, 2025 • 31min
Recognizing High Conflict Patterns: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 1) • REBROADCAST
Discover the five types of high conflict personalities that can disrupt your life. The hosts break down their traits, such as blame-shifting and extreme thinking. Practical strategies for navigating these relationships are shared, including the CARS method for handling conflict. Learn the significance of recognizing these patterns and the need for better understanding mental health. Get a sneak peek into discussions on narcissistic personalities in future installments!

May 15, 2025 • 38min
Royal Family Fallout: How Public Scrutiny Damages Family Reconciliation
Delve into the intriguing dynamics of the British Royal Family as the hosts analyze the impact of public scrutiny on their internal conflicts. They discuss the escalating drama surrounding Harry and Meghan, highlighting the importance of keeping family matters private for reconciliation. The tension between traditional hierarchies and modern expectations is explored, alongside effective conflict resolution strategies. Tune in for insights on managing high-conflict relationships and improving family dynamics amidst media pressure.

May 8, 2025 • 45min
Borderline Personality Disorder: Courts, Recovery & Reform with Shehrina Rooney
Shehrina Rooney, a passionate BPD recovery advocate and author, shares her powerful journey through Borderline Personality Disorder. The conversation delves into how BPD affects relationships and legal matters, especially in family courts. Shehrina exposes the stigma surrounding BPD and the misconceptions that can influence outcomes in legal settings. The discussion underscores the significance of emotional regulation and the need for a compassionate understanding of those affected. Listeners gain insights into reshaping perceptions and promoting positive recovery.

12 snips
May 1, 2025 • 40min
Hidden in Plain Sight: Decoding the Doomsday Mom's High-Conflict Personality
Explore the chilling case of Lori Vallow Daybell and the disturbing psychological traits that may explain her actions. Delve into the complexities of antisocial personality disorder and its genetic roots. Learn about the haunting effects of high-conflict personalities on families, highlighting Colby’s experience as a case study. Understand the themes of manipulation and mental health, discussing how early intervention can change tragic outcomes. Gain insights into the impact of these dynamics on societal narratives and family healing.

Apr 24, 2025 • 24min
Listener Q&A: Breaking Through High Conflict Patterns & Building Better Relationships
Listeners dive into the world of high-conflict relationships, exploring the significance of self-awareness in managing difficult interactions. Bill and Megan share practical tools like the BIFF method for clearer communication. They discuss the complexities of co-parenting and the need for realistic expectations when handling challenging personalities. The conversation also touches on how manipulative environments can alter behavior and emphasizes the crucial role of setting boundaries while navigating these dynamics.

Apr 17, 2025 • 39min
Family Q&A: Real Solutions for High Conflict Relationships
Explore the complexities of family dynamics as experts tackle questions about high conflict personalities. They share strategies for setting boundaries with siblings while maintaining relationships and delve into the effects of upbringing on conflict resolution styles. Insights on managing emotional fallout with high conflict individuals and coping with avoidant personalities bring practical advice to the forefront. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of personal boundaries and conflict management techniques to foster healthier relationships.

Apr 10, 2025 • 47min
DNA Surprises & Family Secrets: Managing Genetic Identity Discoveries with Kara Rubenstein Deyerin
Join Kara Rubenstein Deyerin, founder of Right to Know, as she shares her journey from discovering her own misattributed parentage through a DNA test to advocating for genetic identity rights. She discusses the emotional turmoil and family conflicts that can arise from such surprises, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations. The conversation also covers the complexities of non-paternal events and the vital role of communication for those navigating the stigma of unexpected family revelations.

Apr 3, 2025 • 56min
Negotiation's Missing Peace: Finding Humanity in High Conflict with Michèle Huff
Join Michèle Huff, a transactional lawyer and Executive Director at UC Berkeley, as she unveils her transformative negotiation techniques based on empathy and human connection. She draws from Buddhist principles to emphasize internal transformation when dealing with high conflict personalities. Topics include the crucial role of soft skills, the dangers of dehumanization, and practical strategies like mindful breathing for maintaining composure. Huff's insights aim to redefine negotiations in high-stakes environments, blending compassion with effective problem-solving.

Mar 27, 2025 • 47min
Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: Winning in Family Court with Judge Bruce Cohen (ret.)
In this engaging conversation, retired Judge Bruce Cohen shares his extensive knowledge of family law and unpacks the crucial difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness in court. He emphasizes how assertive communication can lead to better outcomes in custody disputes, while aggression often escalates conflict. The discussion also touches on managing high-conflict personalities without resorting to diagnosing, focusing on behavior instead. Judge Cohen provides practical tips for legal writing and presenting cases effectively, ensuring clarity and impact in family court.

Mar 20, 2025 • 40min
Zero to Sixty: Understanding Why Some People Can't Control Their Anger
Explore the fascinating link between anger and high-conflict personalities with insights from Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter. Discover the surprising findings from Ohio State University that challenge traditional anger management techniques. Learn how distinct personality traits influence the way individuals express anger, and the critical role of emotional regulation in interpersonal conflicts. The duo highlights the power of human connection, revealing practical strategies for managing anger and fostering positive communication.