It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People Choosing Safe Partners: Understanding Red Flags in Dating with Dr. David Wexler
13 snips
Nov 6, 2025 Dr. David Wexler, a clinical psychologist with decades of experience in relationship conflict, shares vital insights into identifying red flags in dating. He highlights behaviors like 'love bombing' and contempt as early warning signs of potential abuse. Dr. Wexler explains how psychological abuse can be more damaging than physical harm, affecting self-esteem and autonomy. He discusses the influence of family history on relationship patterns and emphasizes the importance of trusting your gut feelings while setting clear boundaries.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
How Clinical Work Shaped Wexler's Focus
- Wexler started running spouse-abuse treatment groups at a San Diego naval station in the late 1980s.
- He found many offenders relatable rather than monstrous, which shaped his long-term work.
Caution With Early Intense Attention
- Watch for 'love bombing' that feels too much too soon and then fades.
- If attention is intense early and unstable, treat it as a warning sign and slow down.
Contempt Predicts Serious Relationship Harm
- Expressions of contempt and disgust predict relationship breakdown and harm.
- Frequent sarcasm, eye-rolling, or calling a partner 'stupid' are strong red flags.
