YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton

When emotions peak, how do neurodiverse couples stay connected? Randall and Ashley discuss their practical tools for managing conflict, including the helpful mantra 'I’m okay.' They share strategies to prevent meltdowns, like routines and weighted blankets, and the importance of establishing boundaries during emotional overload. Discover how they navigate surprises, plan for holidays, and employ code words to ease anxiety. Their journey reveals how understanding each other's neurotypes has deepened empathy and strengthened their bond.

Discover how Randall and Ashley transformed their neurodiverse relationship after understanding Randall's autism. They share practical tools like the "2-or-10" scale to prioritize energy, and the calming power of the "I’m okay" mantra. Hear about their strategies for social events, including separate arrivals to manage overwhelm. Randall also reflects on his diagnosis journey, how family reactions evolved, and the unique challenges they faced together. Curiosity, communication, and empathy shine as key elements in their love story.

Randall Rowland, a neurodivergent partner, shares his experiences with holiday stress, highlighting his aversion to surprises and the impact of routine changes. His partner, Ashley, adds valuable insights on practical strategies like using advance notice for gifts to ease tension. They discuss the importance of planning alternatives (plans A/B/C) for smoother outings and reveal their 'mistletoe' code word for signaling when they need a break. The duo emphasizes recovery days after events to recharge and maintain connection.

In this discussion, Amy Matthews, a licensed therapist and coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships, joins Mike, who discovered his autism as an adult. They tackle the negative narratives surrounding neurodiverse partnerships, revealing instead the unique strengths autism adds, like enhanced focus and organization. The pair share insights on recognizing autistic burnout, the importance of soft communication techniques, and the need for patience in navigating emotional differences. Their candid conversation offers real strategies to foster understanding and connection.

Mike and Amy share their journey of unexpected discoveries about neurodiversity after Mike's late autism diagnosis. They discuss early misunderstandings that created tension in their relationship and how they reshaped their communication to reduce resentment. The couple reveals practical strategies, like using humor and visual signals, to connect more effectively. They reflect on the importance of trust and safety during identity shifts, highlighting how laughter and clarity transformed their marriage.

This podcast features Laura Schreiner, a licensed counselor and expert on neurodiversity. She shares insights on how neurodiverse relationships can thrive through messy and nonlinear progress. Key topics include the importance of forgiveness in healing and the role of practical tools over idealized expectations. The discussion emphasizes building awareness, tolerance, and using tailored strategies to bridge differences. Listeners gain valuable tips on fostering connection, navigating discomfort, and recognizing markers of progress in their relationships.

Accommodating neurodiversity doesn’t have to mean resentment or burnout. In this episode, we explore how a neurodiverse relationship can thrive when both partners learn to balance self-accommodation and mutual respect. Coaches Jeremy & Charity Rochford show how neurodivergent partners can self-accommodate (not outsource to neurotypical spouses) and how neurotypical partners can set boundaries that protect their own bandwidth. You’ll learn concrete tools—transition buffers, noise strategies, visual timers—and how a shared relationship system replaces score-keeping with reciprocity. If you’ve been told to “just run” from a neurodiverse relationship, this episode offers a smarter path. Jeremy (autistic) & Charity (neurotypical) (hosts of the NeuroFam podcast) join Jodi to show how reframing autism/ADHD from problem to predictable pattern unlocks real solutions. We dig into practical rituals that improve connection without enmeshment, plus we explore why “effort is invisible” and how accommodations can increase connection instead of being sacrifices for either partner. Jeremy explains his “software upgrade” mindset (strengthening theory of mind/executive function like training a muscle), while Charity shares how compassion + structure reduce resentment. You’ll leave with scripts, rituals, and a way to accommodate needs without erasing yourself. 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – Meet Jeremy & Charity 04:45 – Autism isn’t the problem: Updating the ‘80s narrative 09:40 – How kid diagnoses led to adult discoveries (and relief) 14:20 – Compassion shifts: Seeing sensory overload vs. “too much” 18:30 – “Software upgrades”: Building empathy & executive function 22:10 – Accommodations that work: Earbuds, car rules, visual timers 29:10 – Resentment vs reciprocity: Why effort is invisible 33:00 – Build a marriage system: Make expectations explicit 35:20 – Accommodate without erasing yourself (Disney example) 👥 Meet Jeremy & Charity Rochford Jeremy and Charity Rochford—known as Team Rochford—are certified life coaches and co-founders of NeuroFam, where they specialize in coaching for neurodiverse couples, parents, and families. Married for 25 years and raising two autistic children, they blend professional expertise (Jeremy has a BA in Communication Studies; Charity a BA in Psychology) with lived experience to deliver a truly balanced perspective. NeuroFam’s coaching is forward-focused and results-based—helping families create practical systems, reduce resentment, and build relationships that thrive. Jeremy works primarily with autistic/ADHD men, fathers, and young adults, while Charity supports neurotypical partners, mothers, and women navigating ND/NT family dynamics.   🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode NeuroFam website https://www.neurofam.com NeuroFM Podcast https://www.ourneurofam.com/neuro-fm-podcast Book: Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen https://www.stoneandheen.com/thanks-feedback Course: How to Communicate in Your Neurodiverse Relationship https://jodicarlton.com/courses/relationship-2-0-crack-the-communication-code/ Tony Attwood https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/ — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples — Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships. #NeurodiverseRelationship #AutismInMarriage #ADHD

Licensed counselor and life coach Greg Fuqua, a late-identified autistic, shares valuable insights for autistic–ADHD couples to enhance their connection. He emphasizes the importance of individual work before couples therapy and explains the differences between self-regulation and co-regulation. Practical tools like a 20–30 minute transition buffer and a daily commute-call ritual help partners reconnect without pressure. Greg also highlights the need for clear communication, setting boundaries, and the prepare–attune–debrief framework for navigating social events.

In this engaging discussion, licensed mental health counselor Greg Fuqua, a late-identified autistic clinician, shares valuable insights from his years of working with neurodiverse couples. He explores why these partnerships often feel tumultuous, urging a shift from blame to personal introspection. Greg reflects on his own transformative journey through emotional therapy, emphasizing the value of individual work before couples counseling. Listeners gain practical tools and a fresh perspective on neurodivergent strengths to foster deeper connections.

What It’s Like to Be Face Blind in a Neurodiverse Relationship   Ever mistaken a stranger for your spouse? Journalist and author Sadie Dingfelder has—because she’s face blind. In this episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship, Sadie and her husband Steve share what it’s like to navigate marriage when both partners are neurodivergent in different ways.   From ADHD to prosopagnosia (face blindness), this conversation is filled with relatable moments, honest insights, and laugh-out-loud stories. Sadie discusses how discovering her own neurodivergence led to writing her debut book, “Do I Know You?”, while Steve reflects on living with ADHD since childhood and what finally helped him understand how his brain works. Together, they talk with host Jodi Carlton about cognitive empathy, relationship conflict, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverse marriage thrive.   If you're in a neurodiverse relationship—or love someone who is—this episode offers validation, wisdom, and the reminder that being “on the same team” is everything.   00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – “I Thought I Was Neurotypical”: Meet Sadie & Steve 04:40 – Mistaking a Stranger for Your Spouse?! Discovering Face Blindness 09:15 – How COVID Changed Everything in Their Marriage 13:50 – “We’re Living in Different Realities”: Cognitive Empathy Explained 19:10 – ADHD Meds, Creativity & Finding What Actually Works 25:00 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work   ✨ About Sadie Dingfelder & Steve Hay: Sadie Dingfelder is a science journalist with a sharp wit and a deep curiosity about hidden neurodiversity. In her debut book, “Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination”, she unpacks what it’s like to live with prosopagnosia (face blindness) while taking readers on a fascinating tour of the brain’s inner workings. A former reporter for the Washington Post Express, Sadie is known for blending humor and insight—whether she’s reviewing every bathroom on the National Mall or playing a priceless Stradivarius at the Smithsonian. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, National Geographic, Washingtonian, and other major publications.   Steve Hay is an engineer and aspiring scientist who is currently developing an augmented reality art project that simulates prosopagnosia by using AI to subtly distort faces in real time. Before turning his focus to brain and perception research, Steve worked as a Navy nuclear engineer and later in the green energy sector, applying AI and machine learning to grid-scale energy storage. His work blends scientific insight, creative experimentation, and a knack for making the invisible visible.   📚 Check out Sadie’s book “Do I Know you? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination.” https://www.amazon.com/Know-You-Faceblind-Reporters-Imagination/dp/0316545147  — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com    🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.