YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

In a Neurodiverse Relationship, what happens after you fall in love—but still have to figure out how to live, love, and parent? In Part 2 of this Season 5 episode with Jodi, Adam and Becca James go even deeper into the realities of a neurodiverse marriage. Becca is autistic and ADHD (AuDHD). Adam is neurotypical. Together, they’ve reached millions on TikTok with raw, relatable content about neurodivergent relationships. Together, they open up about the day-to-day realities of a neurodiverse relationship—from miscommunication and parenting stress to intimacy challenges, sensory overload, and the emotional friction that comes with constantly decoding each other’s world. With their signature mix of honesty and humor, they explore what it really means to stay connected when love languages clash and nothing feels simple. 💬 You’ll hear about: Why physical intimacy can feel impossible—and how they rebuilt it from scratch What happens when emotional cues are misread (and how they recover) The invisible mental load of affection, communication, and “showing up” The challenges of parenting as a neurodivergent mom How some people misunderstand their viral videos—and why they keep posting anyway Why understanding each other isn’t a goal—it’s a practice What keeps them committed, even on the hardest days Whether you're married to someone with autism, parenting through sensory stress, or just trying to better understand your neurodivergent partner, this episode is a heartfelt continuation of a conversation that’s making thousands feel seen. 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 00:57 – Meet Adam & Becca: Viral TikTok Couple 01:36 – Misunderstandings, Meltdowns & Missed Signals 03:12 – Using Humor to Survive Neurodivergent Life 10:29 – Family Expectations vs. Neurodivergent Needs 14:42 – When Physical Affection Feels Overwhelming 17:22 – Autism, Intimacy & Rebuilding a Sexual Connection 20:20 – The Gap Between Neurotypical & Neurodivergent Brains 21:46 – Rethinking How Relationships “Should” Work 23:44 – Why Intentional Understanding Keeps Us Together 26:05 – Miscommunication in Marriage: It's Not What You Think 33:29 – Parenting With Limited Bandwidth 37:14 – The Poisoner’s Almanac: Becca’s Special Interest 38:55 – Final Thoughts + Resources for Neurodiverse Couples ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. Mentioned in this episode: 🎧 Adam & Becca’s podcast: The Poisoner’s Almanac – a true crime-meets-science deep dive into historical and modern poisons, created around Becca’s special interest. 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com   🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Join Adam and Becca James, a viral TikTok couple, as they dive into the joys and challenges of their neurodiverse marriage. Adam, a home health physical therapist, shares his perspective as a neurotypical partner, while Becca, a nurse, opens up about her late autism diagnosis and the impact of masking. They discuss communication hurdles, emotional disconnects, and the tension between sensory needs and affection. Their candid humor and relatable experiences shed light on what it truly means to love and be loved across different neurological landscapes.

Barbara Grant, a neurodiverse couples coach with a PhD from the School of Hard Knocks, and Robin Tate, a certified autism specialist and founder of Robin Tate LLC, share their insights on navigating neurodiverse relationships. They discuss how change is possible even when only one partner engages in the work. The panel explores the distinction between coaching and therapy, the significance of nervous system regulation for communication, and practical tools for improving relational dynamics. With clarity and compassion, they guide listeners through decision-making and setting healthy boundaries.

Laura Schreiner, a licensed professional counselor specializing in neurodivergent couples, shares her insights from over 20 years of marriage to her autistic husband. They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, both with each other and their children. Laura highlights her husband's surprising communication skills and the shift in their dynamic when she detached from emotional outcomes. With humor and warmth, they emphasize that they are not opposites but complementary puzzle pieces, providing relatable wisdom for both neurodivergent and neurotypical partners.

Laura Schreiner, a licensed professional counselor and expert in neurodiversity, shares her 20-year journey through her own neurodiverse marriage. She discusses the nonlinear nature of communication in such relationships and uses humor and empathy to navigate misunderstandings with her autistic husband. The importance of personal growth over ‘fixing’ is another key takeaway, alongside insights on emotional burnout and unmet expectations. Listeners gain a compassionate perspective on what truly makes these relationships thrive.

From masking to neurodiverse marriage, bestselling author J.D. Barker gets real about life as an autistic adult. In this podcast episode, neurodiverse relationship coach Jodi Carlton talks with New York Times bestselling author JDBarker, who shares what was like for him to navigate life, love, and fatherhood - and autism. From high-stakes careers in finance and IT to ghostwriting blockbusters and becoming a full-time novelist, J.D. reflects on how autism has shaped his relationships, routines, and creative process. He also gets candid about building a neurodiverse marriage with his neurotypical wife, parenting a neurodivergent daughter, and the personal growth that came with learning to embrace—not mask—his autistic traits. 💬 What you’ll hear in this episode: The surprising way J.D. was diagnosed with autism at 22 Why masking often feels like “playing a part” in social settings How he and his wife created emotional safety and mutual respect in their marriage What it looks like to be a team—not adversaries—as neurodiverse partners The “loop-closing” need in autistic brains—and how it affects everyday routines Why creativity is often misunderstood in autism (and how it became his superpower) What he tells parents of autistic children about what’s possible for their future. Whether you’re autistic, in a neurodiverse relationship, or parenting a neurodivergent child, this conversation is full of practical insights, encouragement, and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of autism in adulthood and family life.   00:00 Welcome to Season 5 00:57 Meet J.D. Barker 01:37 J.D.’s Diagnosis Story 03:12 Life as an Autistic Adult 06:02 Autism & Parenting a Neurodivergent Child 08:23 Understanding ND Traits in Relationships 10:25 From Corporate Burnout to Bestselling Author: How J.D.’s Wife Helped Him Reclaim His Life 19:52 Creativity, Career & the Autistic Brain 22:24 J.D.’s Superpower: Mimicking Author Voices 23:04 Becoming a Bestselling Author 24:25 Breaking the Creativity Myth in Autism 26:14 The Writing Process & Pattern Recognition 28:29 Researching Characters & Emotional Nuance 30:32 Emotional Differences in a Neurodiverse Marriage 32:24 Communication, Trust & Mutual Respect 36:06 Advice for Autistic Creatives 37:21 Final Reflections 🎥 Keep watching to explore more episodes in Season 5 and discover how other neurodiverse couples are navigating life, love, and everything in between. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29  📚 About J.D. Barker: J.D. Barker is a New York Times and international bestselling author known for gripping, genre-blending thrillers that weave suspense, horror, mystery, and science fiction into unforgettable stories. His acclaimed novels include Dracul (co-authored with Dacre Stoker), the 4MK series, and multiple collaborations with James Patterson, such as The Coast-to-Coast Murders and The Noise. Explore his books and learn more: www.jdbarker.com  ________ 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.  

Stephanie and Dan Holmes, certified specialists in neurodiversity and ordained ministers, dive deep into the unique challenges of neurodiverse marriages. They discuss the vital roles of communication and boundaries in resolving conflicts where there’s no clear 'right' answer. The couple explores how faith and rigid belief systems can complicate relationships, emphasizing the importance of curiosity and emotional understanding. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their differences and remain teachable for long-term growth.

In this conversation, Stephanie Holmes, a certified autism specialist and neurodiverse marriage therapist, and her husband Dan, a seasoned systems architect and Master Life Coach, dive into the dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. They share insights on transitioning from therapy to coaching, the importance of building individual skills, and how Dan's cooking eased Stephanie's mental load. They discuss navigating emotional differences, dealing with miscommunication, and learning to validate each other's feelings for a thriving partnership. Their journey showcases how faith and intentional communication can overcome challenges.

In this powerful Part 2 episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast (Season 5), neurodiverse relationship expert Jodi Carlton continues her candid conversation with married couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb. Together, they open up about: - Navigating ADHD and demand avoidance in marriage - Overcoming anxious and avoidant attachment styles - What happens when one partner is an overfunctioner - Burnout, masking, and learning to communicate better - The difference between acceptance and accommodation - Red flags vs. recoverable challenges in neurodiverse relationships. 👉 Here's Part 1 in case you missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdE9-xbzKI  🔹 Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Season Five 00:57 – Welcome to Part 2 with Luke & Lauren 01:11 – Challenges and Realizations in Marriage 01:42 – Understanding ADHD and Attachment Styles 03:54 – The Role of Communication 06:55 – Personality Differences and the Enneagram 11:41 – Shifting Roles and Responsibilities 14:47 – Facing Trauma Together 18:36 – Balancing Support and Independence 22:50 – Navigating Demand Avoidance in Relationships 24:07 – Understanding Overfunctioning and Burnout 26:27 – Addressing Imbalance in Effort and Insight 28:09 – Recognizing Abusive Patterns and Seeking Help 32:02 – The Importance of Acceptance and Safety 37:39 – Final Thoughts and Relationship Advice 44:42 – Conclusion and Neurodiversity Resources ___________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton 

In this powerful episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast Season 5, host Jodi Carlton sits down with trauma healing experts and married neurodiverse couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb, who live in Thailand and run a worldwide trauma-healing practice called Flourish Therapy. Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverser elationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate similar challenges.   👉 This is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation, so be sure to subscribe and stay tuned for Part 2! 🔹 Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome to Season 5: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work? 00:57 – Meet Luke & Lauren Smallcomb: Trauma coaches living in Thailand 02:58 – Lauren’s journey from nursing to trauma & brain healing through neuroplasticity 04:08 – What is neuroplasticity & how does trauma impact the brain? 05:50 – Luke’s path to counseling & the impact of neuroscience on his practice 09:54 – Starting their own practice, Flourish Therapy 13:29 – How lived experience changes how you show up professionally 14:04 – Having a better understanding of neurodiversity. Moving away from a disease model 15:37 – Lauren and Luke open up about their own marriage 16:42 – Understanding capacity in a neurodiverse relationship 17:40 – Luke shares early misunderstandings from masking and social fatigue 18:18 – How rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) affected their communication 22:05 – Attachment styles & the over-/under-functioning dynamic 27:12 – Stay tuned for Part 2 in the next episode! More About Luke & Lauren Luke is a Mental Health Practitioner, and Lauren is a Mind-Body Practitioner. The heart of their work is guiding folks who have experienced trauma out of dysregulation and chronic symptoms into joy, connection, and whole-body abundance. Their work is neuro-affirming and abuse-informed. Together, they cohost the Filled to Flourish podcast, where they explore the complex journey of healing and wholeness, especially for those whose lives haven’t been what they expected. Luke and Lauren live with their kids and dogs in Chiang Mai, Thailand. https://flourishtherapy.co/ ___________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! Use Code "JODI" to Save 30% https://neurotranslator.ai  A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton