YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

In this discussion, Amy Matthews, a licensed therapist and coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships, joins Mike, who discovered his autism as an adult. They tackle the negative narratives surrounding neurodiverse partnerships, revealing instead the unique strengths autism adds, like enhanced focus and organization. The pair share insights on recognizing autistic burnout, the importance of soft communication techniques, and the need for patience in navigating emotional differences. Their candid conversation offers real strategies to foster understanding and connection.

When autism or ADHD first shows up in a relationship—especially through a late diagnosis—it can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even destabilizing. Many couples begin searching for answers only to find negative, discouraging narratives about neurodiverse partnerships. In this episode, I talk with Mike and Amy, a couple who discovered as adults that Mike is autistic. Their story is deeply relatable for anyone navigating a new understanding of neurodiversity in themselves or their partner. They share openly about the early misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, and emotional tensions that shaped their marriage—and the strategies they put in place to protect their connection instead of slipping into resentment. This conversation offers a grounded, human look at what really happens when a diagnosis reframes your entire relationship dynamic. In this episode, we talk about: How Mike’s late autism discovery reshaped their understanding of past conflicts The early signs and communication patterns they didn’t recognize at the time Why so many couples feel “blindsided” before diagnosis How masking, missed cues, and emotional differences created tension What helped them shift from frustration to clarity The early strategies that made life more workable and reduced resentment How they built trust and safety while adjusting to a major identity shift Mike and Amy’s honesty brings so much relief to listeners who feel alone, confused, or stuck in patterns they can’t explain. Their story also sets the foundation for Part 2, where we explore burnout, emotional labor, and more advanced communication tools. About Mike & Amy Mike and Amy have been together for 18 years. Mike discovered he is autistic four years ago, which provided language and clarity for years of misunderstandings neither of them knew how to name. Today, Mike advocates for autistic adults through writing and organizational leadership. Amy is a licensed therapist and coach who specializes in supporting autistic adults, their partners, and parents raising neurodivergent children. 📧 Connect with Amy: amatthews@prairiewellness.org 🌐 Learn more: prairiewellness.org — About Your Host I’m Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship coach with more than 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, educator, and author. I’m also neurodivergent myself, diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. My work is rooted in both clinical expertise and lived experience—19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children. I help neurodiverse couples and families gain clarity, communication skills, and emotional confidence so their relationships can genuinely thrive. Explore resources, quizzes, and courses: jodicarlton.com Questions? Contact my team: gethelp@jodicarlton.com

This podcast features Laura Schreiner, a licensed counselor and expert on neurodiversity. She shares insights on how neurodiverse relationships can thrive through messy and nonlinear progress. Key topics include the importance of forgiveness in healing and the role of practical tools over idealized expectations. The discussion emphasizes building awareness, tolerance, and using tailored strategies to bridge differences. Listeners gain valuable tips on fostering connection, navigating discomfort, and recognizing markers of progress in their relationships.

Accommodating neurodiversity doesn’t have to mean resentment or burnout. In this episode, we explore how a neurodiverse relationship can thrive when both partners learn to balance self-accommodation and mutual respect. Coaches Jeremy & Charity Rochford show how neurodivergent partners can self-accommodate (not outsource to neurotypical spouses) and how neurotypical partners can set boundaries that protect their own bandwidth. You’ll learn concrete tools—transition buffers, noise strategies, visual timers—and how a shared relationship system replaces score-keeping with reciprocity. If you’ve been told to “just run” from a neurodiverse relationship, this episode offers a smarter path. Jeremy (autistic) & Charity (neurotypical) (hosts of the NeuroFam podcast) join Jodi to show how reframing autism/ADHD from problem to predictable pattern unlocks real solutions. We dig into practical rituals that improve connection without enmeshment, plus we explore why “effort is invisible” and how accommodations can increase connection instead of being sacrifices for either partner. Jeremy explains his “software upgrade” mindset (strengthening theory of mind/executive function like training a muscle), while Charity shares how compassion + structure reduce resentment. You’ll leave with scripts, rituals, and a way to accommodate needs without erasing yourself. 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – Meet Jeremy & Charity 04:45 – Autism isn’t the problem: Updating the ‘80s narrative 09:40 – How kid diagnoses led to adult discoveries (and relief) 14:20 – Compassion shifts: Seeing sensory overload vs. “too much” 18:30 – “Software upgrades”: Building empathy & executive function 22:10 – Accommodations that work: Earbuds, car rules, visual timers 29:10 – Resentment vs reciprocity: Why effort is invisible 33:00 – Build a marriage system: Make expectations explicit 35:20 – Accommodate without erasing yourself (Disney example) 👥 Meet Jeremy & Charity Rochford Jeremy and Charity Rochford—known as Team Rochford—are certified life coaches and co-founders of NeuroFam, where they specialize in coaching for neurodiverse couples, parents, and families. Married for 25 years and raising two autistic children, they blend professional expertise (Jeremy has a BA in Communication Studies; Charity a BA in Psychology) with lived experience to deliver a truly balanced perspective. NeuroFam’s coaching is forward-focused and results-based—helping families create practical systems, reduce resentment, and build relationships that thrive. Jeremy works primarily with autistic/ADHD men, fathers, and young adults, while Charity supports neurotypical partners, mothers, and women navigating ND/NT family dynamics.   🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode NeuroFam website https://www.neurofam.com NeuroFM Podcast https://www.ourneurofam.com/neuro-fm-podcast Book: Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen https://www.stoneandheen.com/thanks-feedback Course: How to Communicate in Your Neurodiverse Relationship https://jodicarlton.com/courses/relationship-2-0-crack-the-communication-code/ Tony Attwood https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/ — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples — Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships. #NeurodiverseRelationship #AutismInMarriage #ADHD

Licensed counselor and life coach Greg Fuqua, a late-identified autistic, shares valuable insights for autistic–ADHD couples to enhance their connection. He emphasizes the importance of individual work before couples therapy and explains the differences between self-regulation and co-regulation. Practical tools like a 20–30 minute transition buffer and a daily commute-call ritual help partners reconnect without pressure. Greg also highlights the need for clear communication, setting boundaries, and the prepare–attune–debrief framework for navigating social events.

In this engaging discussion, licensed mental health counselor Greg Fuqua, a late-identified autistic clinician, shares valuable insights from his years of working with neurodiverse couples. He explores why these partnerships often feel tumultuous, urging a shift from blame to personal introspection. Greg reflects on his own transformative journey through emotional therapy, emphasizing the value of individual work before couples counseling. Listeners gain practical tools and a fresh perspective on neurodivergent strengths to foster deeper connections.

What It’s Like to Be Face Blind in a Neurodiverse Relationship   Ever mistaken a stranger for your spouse? Journalist and author Sadie Dingfelder has—because she’s face blind. In this episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship, Sadie and her husband Steve share what it’s like to navigate marriage when both partners are neurodivergent in different ways.   From ADHD to prosopagnosia (face blindness), this conversation is filled with relatable moments, honest insights, and laugh-out-loud stories. Sadie discusses how discovering her own neurodivergence led to writing her debut book, “Do I Know You?”, while Steve reflects on living with ADHD since childhood and what finally helped him understand how his brain works. Together, they talk with host Jodi Carlton about cognitive empathy, relationship conflict, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverse marriage thrive.   If you're in a neurodiverse relationship—or love someone who is—this episode offers validation, wisdom, and the reminder that being “on the same team” is everything.   00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – “I Thought I Was Neurotypical”: Meet Sadie & Steve 04:40 – Mistaking a Stranger for Your Spouse?! Discovering Face Blindness 09:15 – How COVID Changed Everything in Their Marriage 13:50 – “We’re Living in Different Realities”: Cognitive Empathy Explained 19:10 – ADHD Meds, Creativity & Finding What Actually Works 25:00 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work   ✨ About Sadie Dingfelder & Steve Hay: Sadie Dingfelder is a science journalist with a sharp wit and a deep curiosity about hidden neurodiversity. In her debut book, “Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination”, she unpacks what it’s like to live with prosopagnosia (face blindness) while taking readers on a fascinating tour of the brain’s inner workings. A former reporter for the Washington Post Express, Sadie is known for blending humor and insight—whether she’s reviewing every bathroom on the National Mall or playing a priceless Stradivarius at the Smithsonian. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, National Geographic, Washingtonian, and other major publications.   Steve Hay is an engineer and aspiring scientist who is currently developing an augmented reality art project that simulates prosopagnosia by using AI to subtly distort faces in real time. Before turning his focus to brain and perception research, Steve worked as a Navy nuclear engineer and later in the green energy sector, applying AI and machine learning to grid-scale energy storage. His work blends scientific insight, creative experimentation, and a knack for making the invisible visible.   📚 Check out Sadie’s book “Do I Know you? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination.” https://www.amazon.com/Know-You-Faceblind-Reporters-Imagination/dp/0316545147  — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com    🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

In a Neurodiverse Relationship, what happens after you fall in love—but still have to figure out how to live, love, and parent? In Part 2 of this Season 5 episode with Jodi, Adam and Becca James go even deeper into the realities of a neurodiverse marriage. Becca is autistic and ADHD (AuDHD). Adam is neurotypical. Together, they’ve reached millions on TikTok with raw, relatable content about neurodivergent relationships. Together, they open up about the day-to-day realities of a neurodiverse relationship—from miscommunication and parenting stress to intimacy challenges, sensory overload, and the emotional friction that comes with constantly decoding each other’s world. With their signature mix of honesty and humor, they explore what it really means to stay connected when love languages clash and nothing feels simple. 💬 You’ll hear about: Why physical intimacy can feel impossible—and how they rebuilt it from scratch What happens when emotional cues are misread (and how they recover) The invisible mental load of affection, communication, and “showing up” The challenges of parenting as a neurodivergent mom How some people misunderstand their viral videos—and why they keep posting anyway Why understanding each other isn’t a goal—it’s a practice What keeps them committed, even on the hardest days Whether you're married to someone with autism, parenting through sensory stress, or just trying to better understand your neurodivergent partner, this episode is a heartfelt continuation of a conversation that’s making thousands feel seen. 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 00:57 – Meet Adam & Becca: Viral TikTok Couple 01:36 – Misunderstandings, Meltdowns & Missed Signals 03:12 – Using Humor to Survive Neurodivergent Life 10:29 – Family Expectations vs. Neurodivergent Needs 14:42 – When Physical Affection Feels Overwhelming 17:22 – Autism, Intimacy & Rebuilding a Sexual Connection 20:20 – The Gap Between Neurotypical & Neurodivergent Brains 21:46 – Rethinking How Relationships “Should” Work 23:44 – Why Intentional Understanding Keeps Us Together 26:05 – Miscommunication in Marriage: It's Not What You Think 33:29 – Parenting With Limited Bandwidth 37:14 – The Poisoner’s Almanac: Becca’s Special Interest 38:55 – Final Thoughts + Resources for Neurodiverse Couples ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. Mentioned in this episode: 🎧 Adam & Becca’s podcast: The Poisoner’s Almanac – a true crime-meets-science deep dive into historical and modern poisons, created around Becca’s special interest. 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com   🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Join Adam and Becca James, a viral TikTok couple, as they dive into the joys and challenges of their neurodiverse marriage. Adam, a home health physical therapist, shares his perspective as a neurotypical partner, while Becca, a nurse, opens up about her late autism diagnosis and the impact of masking. They discuss communication hurdles, emotional disconnects, and the tension between sensory needs and affection. Their candid humor and relatable experiences shed light on what it truly means to love and be loved across different neurological landscapes.

Barbara Grant, a neurodiverse couples coach with a PhD from the School of Hard Knocks, and Robin Tate, a certified autism specialist and founder of Robin Tate LLC, share their insights on navigating neurodiverse relationships. They discuss how change is possible even when only one partner engages in the work. The panel explores the distinction between coaching and therapy, the significance of nervous system regulation for communication, and practical tools for improving relational dynamics. With clarity and compassion, they guide listeners through decision-making and setting healthy boundaries.