YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

Stephanie and Dan Holmes, certified specialists in neurodiversity and ordained ministers, dive deep into the unique challenges of neurodiverse marriages. They discuss the vital roles of communication and boundaries in resolving conflicts where there’s no clear 'right' answer. The couple explores how faith and rigid belief systems can complicate relationships, emphasizing the importance of curiosity and emotional understanding. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their differences and remain teachable for long-term growth.

In this conversation, Stephanie Holmes, a certified autism specialist and neurodiverse marriage therapist, and her husband Dan, a seasoned systems architect and Master Life Coach, dive into the dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. They share insights on transitioning from therapy to coaching, the importance of building individual skills, and how Dan's cooking eased Stephanie's mental load. They discuss navigating emotional differences, dealing with miscommunication, and learning to validate each other's feelings for a thriving partnership. Their journey showcases how faith and intentional communication can overcome challenges.

In this powerful Part 2 episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast (Season 5), neurodiverse relationship expert Jodi Carlton continues her candid conversation with married couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb. Together, they open up about: - Navigating ADHD and demand avoidance in marriage - Overcoming anxious and avoidant attachment styles - What happens when one partner is an overfunctioner - Burnout, masking, and learning to communicate better - The difference between acceptance and accommodation - Red flags vs. recoverable challenges in neurodiverse relationships. 👉 Here's Part 1 in case you missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdE9-xbzKI  🔹 Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Season Five 00:57 – Welcome to Part 2 with Luke & Lauren 01:11 – Challenges and Realizations in Marriage 01:42 – Understanding ADHD and Attachment Styles 03:54 – The Role of Communication 06:55 – Personality Differences and the Enneagram 11:41 – Shifting Roles and Responsibilities 14:47 – Facing Trauma Together 18:36 – Balancing Support and Independence 22:50 – Navigating Demand Avoidance in Relationships 24:07 – Understanding Overfunctioning and Burnout 26:27 – Addressing Imbalance in Effort and Insight 28:09 – Recognizing Abusive Patterns and Seeking Help 32:02 – The Importance of Acceptance and Safety 37:39 – Final Thoughts and Relationship Advice 44:42 – Conclusion and Neurodiversity Resources ___________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton 

In this powerful episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast Season 5, host Jodi Carlton sits down with trauma healing experts and married neurodiverse couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb, who live in Thailand and run a worldwide trauma-healing practice called Flourish Therapy. Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverser elationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate similar challenges.   👉 This is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation, so be sure to subscribe and stay tuned for Part 2! 🔹 Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome to Season 5: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work? 00:57 – Meet Luke & Lauren Smallcomb: Trauma coaches living in Thailand 02:58 – Lauren’s journey from nursing to trauma & brain healing through neuroplasticity 04:08 – What is neuroplasticity & how does trauma impact the brain? 05:50 – Luke’s path to counseling & the impact of neuroscience on his practice 09:54 – Starting their own practice, Flourish Therapy 13:29 – How lived experience changes how you show up professionally 14:04 – Having a better understanding of neurodiversity. Moving away from a disease model 15:37 – Lauren and Luke open up about their own marriage 16:42 – Understanding capacity in a neurodiverse relationship 17:40 – Luke shares early misunderstandings from masking and social fatigue 18:18 – How rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) affected their communication 22:05 – Attachment styles & the over-/under-functioning dynamic 27:12 – Stay tuned for Part 2 in the next episode! More About Luke & Lauren Luke is a Mental Health Practitioner, and Lauren is a Mind-Body Practitioner. The heart of their work is guiding folks who have experienced trauma out of dysregulation and chronic symptoms into joy, connection, and whole-body abundance. Their work is neuro-affirming and abuse-informed. Together, they cohost the Filled to Flourish podcast, where they explore the complex journey of healing and wholeness, especially for those whose lives haven’t been what they expected. Luke and Lauren live with their kids and dogs in Chiang Mai, Thailand. https://flourishtherapy.co/ ___________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! Use Code "JODI" to Save 30% https://neurotranslator.ai  A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton

Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work? 💙 In this episode, a panel of neurodiverse relationship experts—therapists, coaches, and authors—share real insights and proven strategies to help neurodiverse couples thrive. What You’ll Learn: 👉 Success stories from neurodiverse couples 👉 How nervous system regulation impacts relationships 👉 The role of language, expectations & teamwork 👉 Key strategies for overcoming challenges   Meet the Experts in This Episode: 🔹 Laura Schreiner – Licensed counselor (IL) specializing in neurodivergent individuals & couples. https://www.laurasnc.com/ 🔹 Jana Smith – Resilience & nervous system coach, expert in chronic illness & Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com/ 🔹 Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference & co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com/ 🔹 Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families, co-host of Loving Difference & Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk/ 🔹 Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. – Host of Neurodiverse Love Podcast, creator of Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, and organizer of the Neurodiverse Love Conference. https://www.neurodiverselove.com/ 🔹 Heidi Hackney – ICF-certified coach, mentor, & co-founder of Autistic Voiceover Artists (AVA), supporting autistic adults in the voiceover industry. https://thecan-docoach.com/ 🔹 Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes – Autism researcher, ordained minister, author of Uniquely Us, and host of Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. https://www.holmesasr.com/ 🔹 Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com/ 🔹 Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com/ 🔹 Debbie King – Counselor specializing in neurodiverse relationships, trauma, & toxic family dynamics, offering global support via Zoom. https://www.facebook.com/WellingboroughCounsellor/ 🔹 David Glick – Founder of Triad Psych in Marietta, GA, a clinic specializing in neurodiversity, learning disabilities, and ADHD. Former special education teacher with a Master's in Special Ed and Social Work, he has worked in the mental health field for over 20 years. https://triadpsych.org/ 🔔 Subscribe & Follow for expert insights, personal stories, and actionable relationship advice. ___________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! https://neurotranslator.ai A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts  💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton 

Michael Daniel, creator of the NeuroTranslator Tool, and his wife Elise share their journey in bridging communication gaps in their neurodiverse marriage. Michael discusses the tool’s development, aimed at reducing misunderstandings and fostering empathy. Elise offers her insights on how it has transformed their relationship. They highlight real-life success stories and the tool's impact on emotional connections, reinforcing the importance of kindness and open dialogue in neurodiverse love.

Join Michael Daniel, a late-diagnosed autistic database analyst, and his neurotypical wife, Elise, as they share their journey of love and communication in a neurodiverse marriage. Discover how misunderstandings led them to create NeuroTranslator, an AI-powered app designed to enhance communication between diverse thinkers. They discuss the challenges of miscommunication, the impact of Michael's late autism diagnosis, and the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering connection. Their story is an inspiring testament to overcoming obstacles together.

This is Part 2 of my two-part series on #codependency in #neurodiverserelationships. In this video, I dive into why codependency tends to develop in these relationships and how you can start breaking the cycle. If you haven't watched Part 1, where I discuss the 6 signs of codependency, be sure to check it out first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlcRXJG3Uck     💡 Topics Covered in This Video: 00:30 Executive dysfunction and imbalance in shared responsibilities 01:57 Hyperfocus on harmony and avoiding conflict 02:25 Childhood conditioning and the role of peacemaking behaviors 04:05 Societal pressure to "fix" or normalize a partner’s behaviors 05:09 The two-way dynamic of taking on too much vs. avoiding responsibility 05:45 How to set healthy boundaries and encourage shared responsibility 07:52 Prioritizing self-care, open communication, and relationship balance   🛠️ Want to improve communication and reduce codependent behaviors? Check out my communication course at https://jodicarlton.com/courses/ 🔔 Comment below with your thoughts and experiences—I’d love to hear from you! And if this video helps, like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell so you don’t miss future content. 💙 ____________________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙️ PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton 

Codependency is a common yet often misunderstood pattern in neurodiverse relationships. In this video, Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship expert, explores six key signs of codependency in neurodiverse couples, how these dynamics develop, and why recognizing them is the first step toward building a healthier, more balanced relationship. 💡 Key Topics Covered: 01:30 Overcompensating for Executive Dysfunction 02:18 Emotional Over-Responsibility 02:55 Avoiding Personal Needs 03:36 Caretaking Instead of Partnership 04:00 The Cycle of Resentment and Guilt 04:54 Overexplaining in Relationships 06:40 Check Out Part 2: Why Codependency Happens in Neurodiverse Relationships https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsx3y8Jhhpc Whether one or both partners are #autistic, #ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, understanding these dynamics can help partners establish better boundaries, healthier communication, and mutual respect. 🔔 Watch Part 2 to dive deeper into why codependency develops in neurodiverse relationships and how to break the cycle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsx3y8Jhhpc Don't forget to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications so you don’t miss future insights! ____________________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙️ PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton

Valentine’s Day can bring excitement, pressure, or even confusion—especially in a neurodiverse relationship! Whether you’re neurotypical, autistic, or have ADHD, understanding and communicating expectations for this day can make all the difference. In this episode, I’ll walk you through: ✅ How neurodivergent and neurotypical partners may approach Valentine’s Day differently ✅ Common misunderstandings and emotional triggers ✅ Practical strategies for clear, pressure-free communication ✅ How to create a celebration (or skip it!) in a way that works for both of you   🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more insights into neurodiverse relationships! #NeurodiverseRelationships #ValentinesDay #CommunicationTips #Autism #ADHD #Relationships #JodiCarlton ____________________________ 👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships. I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships. Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer: 💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage. 💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most. 🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change. 🎙️ PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe. 📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity! 📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton