YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

20 Years in a Neurodiverse Marriage | Part 2 with Laura Schreiner

Jul 9, 2025

Laura Schreiner, a licensed professional counselor specializing in neurodivergent couples, shares her insights from over 20 years of marriage to her autistic husband. They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, both with each other and their children. Laura highlights her husband's surprising communication skills and the shift in their dynamic when she detached from emotional outcomes. With humor and warmth, they emphasize that they are not opposites but complementary puzzle pieces, providing relatable wisdom for both neurodivergent and neurotypical partners.

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ADVICE

Set Boundaries for Mental Load

Set clear boundaries with your children and yourself to manage your mental load effectively.
Communicate your needs and stick to your personal limits to avoid burnout.

INSIGHT

Feelings Reflect Beliefs

Identify your feelings by linking them to what you choose to believe about the situation.
This approach helps clarify emotions and reduce negative reactions over time.

ADVICE

Use Somatic Tools for Tension

Use somatic tools like breath work and tapping to reduce tension during conflicts.
Align your body language with your words to improve communication and emotional regulation.

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How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul?

In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other.

💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack:

Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partner
How her husband’s communication “black belt” surprised her
What changed when she detached from emotional outcomes
Why understanding your own expectations is essential—especially if you're the one doing all the work Her husband’s take: “We’re not opposites. We’re complementary puzzle pieces.”

This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity!

📍 Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1
01:24 Setting Boundaries as a Neurodivergent Parent
03:50 “Fixing Autism” vs. Doing the Personal Work
06:02 Her Communication “Black Belt” Analogy
07:07 How Feelings are Impacted by What We Choose to Believe
09:19 Somatic Tools for Regulating Relationship Tension
11:39 Doing the Inner Work—Even If the Relationship Doesn’t Last
14:37 How One Breakthrough Shifted Their Marriage
17:06 Codependency, Expectations & the Myth of the “Perfect Partner”
19:16 What If Leaving Isn’t So Simple?
24:24 How We Define Progress in Neurodiverse Relationships
29:01 Letting Go of Expectations & Receiving What’s Given
34:00 We Both Still Like Chicken
35:00 “We’re Complementary Puzzle Pieces” (Her Husband’s Final Insight)

✨ About Laura Schreiner:

Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.

Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.

To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com

👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29

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#neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com

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