What keeps neurodiverse marriages from falling apart—and what helps them grow stronger over time? In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, Stephanie & Dan Holmes return to share deeper insights on what makes neurodiverse relationships work—and what often makes them break down.
From emotional triggers to unspoken resentments, rigid belief systems to religious conditioning, they dive into the patterns that can quietly erode a relationship—and how curiosity, boundaries, and a growth mindset can bring real repair.
💬 You’ll hear real-life insights about:
- Navigating conflict when there’s no “right” answer
- Reframing triggers and rewriting your relationship narrative
- The impact of faith and religious systems on neurodiverse couples
- Identifying deal-breakers: when unintentional harm becomes a pattern
- Why being teachable is non-negotiable
- Embracing differences instead of fighting them
- How long-term growth happens in stages—and why you’re never “done”
This is a must-watch/must-listen for anyone wondering how to stay connected when perspectives clash, progress feels slow, or your relationship feels stuck in a loop.
00:00 – Welcome to Season Five
00:57 – Introducing Dan and Stephanie Holmes
01:24 – Navigating Triggers & Setting Boundaries That Work
03:50 – How Conflict Shows Up in Neurodiverse Relationships
08:32 – Faith & Friction: When Religion Complicates Your Marriage
18:10 – Reconstructing Faith & Rethinking Marriage Roles
20:26 – Deal Breakers That Derail Neurodiverse Relationships
24:00 – Why Being Teachable Matters More Than Being Right
27:41 – About the Book: Research, Real Stories & Practical Help
29:07 – What the Research Reveals About ND Couples
29:57 – Unintentional Abuse: Where the Line Gets Crossed
33:48 – Embracing Differences Instead of Fighting Them
35:05 – Why Growth Mindset Is Non-Negotiable in ND Marriage
36:56 – Final Thoughts: Learning, Changing & Staying Curious
37:37 – Wrap-Up + Where to Learn More
✨ About Stephanie & Dan Holmes:
Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Ed.D, MA, BCCC is a Certified Autism Specialist, neurodiverse marriage therapist, ordained minister, and former licensed professional counselor. When her daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Stephanie’s professional focus shifted to serving neurodiverse families and couples. She is the founder of Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family and co-founder (with Dan) of The International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage. She co-hosts the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast and coaches couples worldwide.
Rev. Dan Holmes, MCS is a seasoned systems architect, ordained minister, and Master Life Coach who specializes in coaching neurodivergent men. He blends technical expertise with coaching and ministry. Dan received his autism diagnosis later in life in 2019, which deeply informs his perspective and work.
📚 Explore Stephanie’s and Dan’s books:
“Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism and Faith”
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uniquely-us-stephanie-c-holmes/1146104450?ean=9781636985435
“Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey”
https://www.holmesasr.com/embracing-the-autism-spectrum
🎧 Listen to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356
📩 Connect with Stephanie: dr.stephanie@holmesASR.com
📩 Connect with Dan: dan@holmesASR.com
👉 Want to hear more real stories and strategies? Watch the rest of Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29
👩💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:
https://jodicarlton.com
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YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd