YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd BONUS: Surviving the Holidays as a Neurodiverse Couple
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Dec 10, 2025 Randall Rowland, a neurodivergent partner, shares his experiences with holiday stress, highlighting his aversion to surprises and the impact of routine changes. His partner, Ashley, adds valuable insights on practical strategies like using advance notice for gifts to ease tension. They discuss the importance of planning alternatives (plans A/B/C) for smoother outings and reveal their 'mistletoe' code word for signaling when they need a break. The duo emphasizes recovery days after events to recharge and maintain connection.
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Dislike Of Surprises And Wrapped Gifts
- Randall explains he dislikes surprises of any kind and finds wrapped gifts overwhelming.
- He describes not having time to prepare a reaction when opening unexpected presents.
Tell Before You Give A Gift
- Tell your neurodivergent partner what a gift is ahead of time so they can process it.
- Ashley says sharing gift details prevents stress and gives time to prepare for a reaction.
Surprises Create Uncertainty For Autistic Brains
- Jodi frames surprises as uncertainty, which is especially intolerable for many autistic people.
- She links blank or muted gift reactions to lack of preparatory context, not lack of gratitude.