Divergent Conversations

Pregnancy loss is traumatic and the grief process that follows is complex. And when you are Autistic, the way you express grief and loss might not meet the expectations of society, which can result in feeling ashamed and isolated. In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, speak with Dr. Kiley Hanish, a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, about autistic grief and loss while focusing on pregnancy loss.Both Dr. Neff and Kiley, who are both Autistic, experienced pregnancy loss and they talk about their experiences personally, within the medical system, going through pregnancy again after experiencing loss, having to parent their children after pregnancy loss, then sensory overwhelm that comes with pregnancy and parenting, and the ongoing process of grieving.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Hear about the profound grief associated not only with losing a child but also with the loss of one's identity when becoming a parent.Understand some of the many ways that grief can manifest, and learn how to incorporate rituals and practices into the grieving process to honor your loss that is tailored toward the needs of autistic individuals.Identify the ways that the healthcare system can improve the responses to individuals experiencing pregnancy loss to help create safety and reduce trauma in difficult times.When experiencing loss, it’s not realistic to just “get over” the grief and move on. There are many complex emotions and often misunderstandings about what is the right way to deal with grief, especially when autism is brought into the equation. If you are experiencing this loss, you’re not alone and your experience is valid regardless of whether other people say you are “doing it right.”More about Dr. Kiley Hanish:Dr. Kiley Hanish is a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, which includes pregnancy, postpartum, and perinatal loss. After suffering the stillbirth and loss of her first child Norbert, Kiley co-created the Emmy-nominated film Return To Zero to break the silence and stigma around pregnancy and infant loss for parents around the world. The film’s success and critical acclaim led to her non-profit organization Return to Zero: HOPE. This organization provides inclusive and compassionate education and support for bereaved families after pregnancy and infant loss. In addition, they provide training and support for health providers in order to foster more confidence when working with these families.Return to Zero: HOPE Website: https://rtzhope.orgKiley’s Instagram and Facebook: @rtzhopeAdditional Resources MentionedWorden’s Four Tasks Of Grieving: https://whatsyourgrief.com/wordens-four-tasks-of-mournin——————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast here🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube——————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:The Autistic Burnout WorkbookI'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

Taking up space and asking for what you need in social settings and relationships can be particularly challenging for Autistic individuals, especially before Autistic diagnosis or discovery.It is not uncommon for many Autistic people to respond strongly to rejection, and we often work hard to "earn" a place in groups where we are allowed to safely exist by being helpful to others or blending in by dressing or acting in a way that seems "normal" or "acceptable."Maintaining these actions while constantly paying attention to details can be a painful and exhausting experience.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the concept of taking up social and emotional space in interactions with others, what it felt like for them to balance efforts to belong with sensory overwhelm while they were still masking before Autism discovery, and the benefits of incorporating new ways of socializing and parallel play that honor their needs as autistic humans.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand the importance of Autistic individuals giving themselves permission to socialize in ways that feel comfortable and authentic to them.Hear about Patrick and Dr. Neff's struggles with taking up space and fully expressing themselves, as well as the challenges of showing up authentically in crowded environments, social situations, and even in running their own businesses.Learn about the importance of parallel play, both in social relationships and in connecting with neurodivergent communities, as well as how it provides a unique sense of comfort and understanding, allowing Autistic individuals to be themselves without the pressure to conform to neurotypical norms.Communicating our needs and creating spaces where we can be understood and accepted is crucial, especially for neurodivergent individuals.Finding the balance between self-expression and self-preservation can be a lifelong journey, but by honoring your needs and seeking community with individuals who understand and won't put the pressure of neurotypical values around relationships, it's possible to "create space" for yourself.——————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast here🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube——————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:The Autistic Burnout WorkbookI'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

Statistically, 70% of Autistic individuals identify as non-heterosexual, and genderqueer people are 3 to 6 times more likely to be diagnosed as Autistic than cisgender adults.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, talk with Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW, a gender expansive therapist and advocate in the neuroqueer space, about genderqueer identity and neuroqueer identity—what they are, how they intersect, and how they are perceived versus present in society, relationships, and the mental health community.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand what is genderqueer identity and neuroqueer identity, as well as delve into the misconceptions surrounding them.See how neurodivergence and queerness overlap for both Autism and ADHD, including what studies have been done around this.Understand the importance of self-disclosure in therapy, particularly for marginalized communities with intersectional identities, and how it can build connection and community, as well as offer emotional relief for clients.There is still a lot to learn and unpack about queerness and neurodivergence, but research suggests a strong connection between neurodivergence and gender identity. We hope to shed light, give valuable insights, and broaden your understanding of these diverse identities.More about Rebecca:Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW is a neuroqueer femme, clinician, consultant, and educator specializing in the intersection of trauma, gender, and sexuality. As a Gender Specialist, Rebecca partners with trans and gender nonconforming youth through their journey of becoming, and is a guide to their parents in affirming it. Rebecca is part-time faculty at Boston University School of Social work and always works through a lens that is neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and resilience-oriented. In addition to her clinical work, Rebecca has provided cultural humility training and consultation to organizations, schools, and businesses for the past decade. You can follow her on Instagram, hire her for parent coaching, or check out her blog, and free guides and course for parents and caregivers!Rebecca’s Website: www.genderspecialist.com Work with Rebecca: https://www.genderspecialist.com/coaching  Rebecca’s Instagram: http://instagram.com/gender.specialist  Rebecca’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaMinorLICSW ResourcesNeurodivergent Insights Masterclass Series: Exploring Neuroqueer Identities by Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Rebecca Minor: https://learn.neurodivergentinsights.com/exploring-neuroqueer-identities/Neurodivergent Insights Infographic: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-infographics/trans-autism——————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast here🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube——————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:The Autistic Burnout WorkbookI'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

Many questions around identity often come up for adults who have been masking their whole lives and discover later in life that they are Autistic.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, answer some of the questions sent to them from podcast listeners about identity and moving forward in life after autism discovery.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Hear answers to questions like, how do you know who you really are beyond the mask, can you still enjoy your masked life and live as your authentic self, are you defined by your autistic traits?Understand the process of self-discovery and how it can manifest for different people, as well as some ways to express your newfound identity.Learn strategies to reshape the way you structure your time, commitments, and priorities to protect your energy and live a more balanced life.The process of self-discovery and learning can be challenging. You might feel grief that can arise from losing or feeling disconnected from the masked version of your life, but you also can experience a feeling of liberation as you explore the new version of yourself, and you’ll have the opportunity to understand and honor your needs.ResourcesWhat is Masking in Autism? Autistic Masking Explained (blog post): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/what-is-masking-in-autism?rq=maskingAutistic Masking Workbook:As a podcast listener, you can use this coupon code to enjoy a 25% discount on the individual workbook or the workbook for clinicians.For Personal Use, use coupon code: Unmasking25 here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking)For Clinical Use, use code: Unmasking25-Clinical here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking-therapy-resources)——————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast here🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube——————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:The Autistic Burnout WorkbookI'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

Identity is complex and interwoven into the world around us. But as Autistic individuals who wear a mask, identity is often not entirely shaped by ourselves. Late in life discovery of autism or ADHD can set off a cascading journey of self-discovery and identity exploration. Once we start to embrace our authentic selves and explore our identity, everything can change.In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, dive into the topic of exploring identity as late-diagnosed Autistic individuals and discuss the process of exploration and claiming an identity that embraces all our neurodivergent uniqueness, how it impacts and changes daily life and choices, and how it can shift both new and old relationships.Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:Understand what unmasking and redefining identity can look like, as well as how it can impact both internal and external experiences, preferences, and relationships.Discover how breaking free from a "mask" identity can allow autistic individuals to explore their creative side, set boundaries, and authentically accept their autistic identity.Learn how to use pleasure and play to explore identity and discover your most authentic self.Give yourself permission to explore uncomfortable emotions and experiences. Be curious, dive into the things that give you pleasure, and detach from others' expectations to unlock new paths of self-awareness and understanding.ResourcesWhat is Masking in Autism? Autistic Masking Explained (blog post): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/what-is-masking-in-autism?rq=maskingNeuroqueer Heresies: Notes on the Neurodiversity Paradigm, Autistic Empowerment, and Postnormal Possibilities by Dr. Nick Walker (book): https://neuroqueer.com/neuroqueer-heresies Autistic Masking Workbook:As a podcast listener, you can use this coupon code to enjoy a 25% discount on the individual workbook or the workbook for clinicians.For Personal Use, use coupon code: Unmasking25 here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking)For Clinical Use, use code: Unmasking25-Clinical here (https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/autistic-masking-therapy-resources)——————————————————————————————————🎙️Listen to more episodes of the Divergent Conversations Podcast here🎙️Spotify🎙️Apple🎙️YouTube Music▶️ YouTube——————————————————————————————————Mentioned in this episode:The Autistic Burnout WorkbookI'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

Explore the importance of self-identification and research on neurodivergent conditions. Learn about the risks and benefits of self-diagnosis. Delve into the complexities of autism and ADHD, and the challenges of accurate diagnosis. Discover the significance of gathering data points and multiple sources for understanding.

Autism and healthcare self-disclosure can lead to negative and positive experiences. The episode covers challenges, stigma, and the importance of tailored self-disclosure. It also discusses finding a supportive healthcare provider, practical solutions for navigating healthcare, and creating a neurodivergent directory. The hosts reflect on podcast reviews and promote listener engagement.

Dr. Mel Houser, an autistic family physician, discusses the intersection between neurodivergent experiences and chronic health conditions. They explore ME/CFS, MCAS, and the struggles with healthcare. Topics include triggers, interconnectedness of health conditions, challenges in seeking treatment, and the impact of neurodivergence on sleep apnea and connective tissue issues. The importance of understanding narratives and the need for neurodiversity-affirming medical care are also highlighted.

Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Patrick Casale discuss the concept of Autistic masking, its impact on mental health, identity, and privilege. They explore the benefits and complexities of masking, as well as strategies for unmasking safely. The podcast also addresses the challenges faced in advocacy spaces, the correlation between masking and mental health issues, and the importance of building supportive autistic communities.

Neurodivergent professionals discuss the challenges of routine disruptions, sensory stimulation, and emotional regulation. They share personal experiences, provide strategies to cope with anxiety, and address the shame associated with strong reactions to routine changes. They also explore the difficulties of diminished executive functioning and the struggle of balancing commitments. Additionally, they discuss productivity variations throughout seasons and reflect on the impact of mispronouncing words on others' perception of intelligence.