
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Latest episodes

32 snips
Jun 30, 2025 • 50min
Esther Calling - Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This
A 42-year-old grapples with anxiety as he enters his first serious relationship, fearing he won't know how to navigate intimacy. The discussion reveals how past experiences, including childhood trauma and bullying, shape his emotional landscape. Topics like setting boundaries, emotional vulnerability, and the significance of physical touch are thoroughly explored. By confronting insecurities and embracing self-compassion, he learns that meaningful connections require both risk and trust.

72 snips
Jun 23, 2025 • 56min
Esther Calling - Esther says "Run!"
A listener grapples with possessiveness in a budding relationship, prompting a deep dive into trust and control. Esther examines whether love should come with ultimatums and the potential costs of sacrifice. Cultural influences and past experiences shape expectations around loyalty. The discussion unfolds the emotional complexities of commitment, exploring the balance between personal boundaries and shared lives. As the dialogue progresses, the importance of open communication and self-assertion emerges, urging listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics.

26 snips
Jun 16, 2025 • 1h 3min
Esther Calling - I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In
A single mother by choice navigates the challenges of dating amid traditional community values. She grapples with balancing her new identity and desires for intimacy while raising her child. The conversation dives into societal expectations versus personal fulfillment, reflecting on the struggle between fitting in and standing out. They discuss the emotional complexities of motherhood and the necessity of support systems as she seeks connection and self-acceptance in a world laden with judgment.

90 snips
Jun 9, 2025 • 57min
Esther Calling - First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over
A listener bravely shares their painful journey through a love bomb experience with a narcissistic partner, grappling with trust issues after deep personal loss. The conversation dives into the emotional rollercoaster of modern dating, exploring self-worth and recognizing toxic patterns. There’s a candid discussion about the complexities of vulnerability and emotional dynamics. The episode encourages introspection to navigate attraction and foster healthier relationships, highlighting the importance of honoring one’s emotions in the aftermath of a tumultuous romance.

39 snips
Jun 2, 2025 • 53min
Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating
Modern dating is a complex landscape filled with questions about choice and connection. Guests share their personal histories, revealing the impact of past relationships and cultural shifts. The conversation dives into the nuances of online dating, genuine attraction, and the emotional exhaustion it can bring. With humor and candidness, speakers discuss strategies for enjoying dating despite its pitfalls, emphasizing the need for kindness and authentic connections in a commodified romantic world.

48 snips
May 19, 2025 • 1h 7min
I Took My Boss to Therapy
Explore the tumultuous yet enlightening dynamics between a manager and their direct report in a transformed workplace. Delve into the powerful impact of first impressions and the nuances of leadership styles. The conversation emphasizes the importance of identity, communication, and trust, especially within diverse teams. It also addresses emotional challenges and the complexities of team dynamics, highlighting the role of empathy and personal growth in fostering a supportive work culture.

47 snips
May 12, 2025 • 53min
Esther Calling - I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless
A woman grapples with fear and anger after her long-term relationship collapses just when she was ready for motherhood. Unpacking her journey, she reflects on love, isolation, and the pain of unmet expectations. As she redefines her concept of family, the discussion delves into grief, communication, and the broad spectrum of pathways to parenthood. The exploration emphasizes emotional acceptance, navigating loneliness, and finding hope amidst uncertainty, offering insights for anyone facing similar life challenges.

56 snips
May 5, 2025 • 55min
Esther Calling - I Leave First So You Can't Abandon Me
This conversation dives into the caller's struggle to form deep friendships while navigating feelings of loneliness. It explores how past traumas shape emotional responses in her current relationships. The discussion highlights the complexities of familial dynamics and how unfulfilled expectations can lead to disappointment. Esther encourages a shift in perspective for healthier connections and emphasizes the importance of communication and empathy in fostering meaningful bonds. This heartfelt exploration sheds light on the quest for belonging and understanding.

30 snips
Apr 28, 2025 • 49min
Esther Calling - Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband
A mother grapples with the mounting tension between her husband and teenage daughter, feeling trapped in the middle. The conversation dives into the complexities of family dynamics, where accountability and blame often collide. Insights on how upbringing affects current conflicts are explored, alongside coping strategies to ease emotional turmoil. The discussion underlines the need for direct communication between parents, emphasizing that understanding and flexibility are essential for healthier relationships.

143 snips
Apr 21, 2025 • 55min
Ms. Entitlement and Mr. Sacrifice Out on a Date
Dive into the intriguing complexities of a midlife relationship as a couple grapples with contrasting worldviews and desires. The discussion navigates the tension between entitlement and sacrifice, revealing how past traumas shape emotional availability. Themes of intimacy, vulnerability, and the balance between pleasure and obligation take center stage while exploring the dynamics of open relationships. Listeners will gain insights into the struggles of commitment, self-care, and the importance of redefining personal needs amidst societal pressures.