Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Love in War - Where Are They Now?
Dec 8, 2025
Three years after war separated a Ukrainian couple, they reunite but struggle with emotional distance. Their journey highlights the challenges of identity loss and shifting roles after displacement. Esther encourages them to embrace playfulness and connection to reignite their bond. She emphasizes the importance of imagination and intimacy, suggesting that small rituals can bring joy even in difficult times. Ultimately, they explore how pleasure and curiosity can act as healing forces in their relationship.
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Separation During War
- Eliana fled to France with their younger son while Andrew stayed in Ukraine with their older son during the early war days.
- They kept a long-distance relationship for months before reuniting in Switzerland a year ago.
Reunion Felt Like A Honeymoon
- Andrew describes the initial reunion as a honeymoon after two and a half years apart, feeling like waking from a nightmare into peace.
- The paradise faded as he faced language barriers, unemployment, and role changes in Switzerland.
Loss Of Identity Feels Existential
- Andrew lost status, identity, and purpose after uprooting, producing an existential crisis beyond clinical depression.
- Esther links his loss of raison d'être to Viktor Frankl's idea that purpose sustains people through hardship.
