Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Our Sex Life is a Disaster
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Feb 2, 2026 A couple confronts a persistent sexual stalemate and the fear it will worsen as they become parents. They explore how caregiving, IVF and different emotional languages widened their distance. Guided somatic exercises focus on touch, breath and grounded presence. Playful movement and clear, steady communication are used to rebuild trust and reopen erotic connection.
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Caretaking Kills Playfulness
- Emotional caretaking can stifle erotic desire by preventing surrender and playfulness.
- Esther Perel links excessive responsibility for a partner's feelings to a loss of erotic energy.
A Joyful Beginning
- The couple met through a friend and fell into deep curiosity and trust over six years together.
- Early sex felt expansive and transformative, including crying with orgasm from overwhelming happiness.
Lightness Protects Sexual Connection
- Lightness and play protect sexual connection by preventing heavy emotional analysis during sex.
- The couple found they connected best when sex stayed playful rather than turning into problem-solving conversations.
