The Best of You

The #1 question I get asked about is how to set boundaries.  They are so important and so powerful, and yet they are so hard to set. We dive into the power of boundaries in this episode and I guide you through a real time exercise on taking that first step no matter what you are facing.  1. Why is it so hard to set boundaries? 2. What is the primary purpose of boundaries? 3. What 2 skills does boundary setting require? 4. What is the first step to setting boundaries? 5. What does the Bible have to say about boundaries? 6. An exercise to help you take a first step.  Key Take Away: Boundaries are not primarily about saying no to other people. Boundaries are first and foremost about safeguarding the heart, mind, soul, and body God has given you.  You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is this “inner child” we see everywhere? Do I really have one? Is this just woo-woo psychology or is there science behind it? Why does it matter? We’ll get into all of this today, including the power of memory in shaping who you are.  Here’s what we’ll discuss:  1. What is an inner child and do I really have one? 2. Is there any science behind it? 3. What is an internal family? 4. Who is the wise parent inside of you? 5. What does the Bible have to say about our inner child? 6. A 10 minute guided reflection to help you connect to a young part of yourself.  Key Takeaway: Like a wise parent, we can learn to parent the young parts of us. We can bring them to Jesus who invited the children always to come to him—without shame or judgment.  You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you get so consumed with the needs of others, that you lose sight of your own? Do you struggle with focusing on caring for yourself?  There's no shame in codependency—I've struggled with it for years. And I believe nearly everyone struggles with it on some level. Learn the surprising antidote to codependency and how to take steps toward healthy dependence.  1. What is codependency? 2. What’s the difference between being kind and being codependent? 3. What are some examples of codependent behaviors? 4. 5 signs that you might have codependent tendencies.   5. 2 indicators you might be in a codependent relationship 6. 3 practical ways to move toward healthy dependence  Check out the Human Hope Podcast here Key Takeaway: There’s a difference between being kind—and caring for someone else while causing harm to yourself.  Questions for reflection:What keeps you from noticing and focusing on your own needs? Which of the 3 steps offered at the end of this episode can you take to move toward healthy dependence?  You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcastSign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trauma is a bigger player in our lives than you might think.It's the unacknowledged guest at every gathering of humans. And if we could learn to understand it better, we'd create a kinder, more compassionate world.   In today's episode we discuss trauma:     1. What is trauma?     2. What are Big T and little T traumas?     3. How does trauma impact your relationship to yourself, others and God?     4. The shaming messages that often sneak in as a result of trauma     5. What does the Bible say about trauma and healing?     6. How do you begin to heal?  Questions to consider: What if what happened wasn’t your fault? What if you didn’t deserve that treatment? What if there’s not something wrong with you? What if you were created a beautiful soul made in God's image? Is there any sliver of you that could believe that? What if the heart of God is to heal?  You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode, including trauma-informed care, at www.dralisoncook.com/podcastSign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you shove yourself aside? Do you think it's selfish to love yourself—or even wrong?  Learn practical steps you can take toward improving one of your most important relationships, your relationship with YOU. We'll cover: 1. My story of shoving myself aside 2. What does self-love really mean? 3. Can I love myself and love God? 4. 2 reasons you don’t love yourself 5. 4 messages that teach you *not* to love yourself 6. An exercise you can do each morning to start loving yourself.  Questions for Reflection:  —What messages have you heard about loving yourself? —What is one action you can take toward honoring yourself this week? —Try the MEPS exercise mentioned at the end of this episode. What did you notice? Were you surprised by anything?  Key takeaway: The way you treat yourself will have a direct impact on how you treat others.  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special bonus episode, I answer two of your questions:1. My spouse used to gaslight me, but has shown meaningful change. I'm still angry. What should I do?2. My parents were narcissistic and now I constantly seek validation from others. How do I stop?Visit https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul to sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What should I know about gaslighting? In this episode we'll discuss:  1. What is gaslighting? 2. What are some examples of it in real life? 3. Why do people do this? 4. What does the Bible have to say about gaslighting? 5. The #1 question I get from people who are dealing with a gaslighter 6. How do I protect myself with someone who gaslights?  Questions for Reflection: —Are there any relationships in your life where gaslighting is occurring? —Who are the people you trust? —Who are the people who help you move toward the best of who you are? —Are there any areas in your life of dishonesty or deception?Key takeaway: The more you get honest with yourself and with God, the more you detect honesty and health in others. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here: https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve heard the word narcissist, but what does it really mean? In this episode we’ll discuss: 1. What narcissism is— how it’s presented in the Bible and the criteria psychologists use to diagnose it 2. The difference between labeling people vs. naming behaviors 3. Different types of narcissism 4. What it feels like if you’re in a narcissistic relationship 5. How do I know that I’m not a narcissist? 6. The antidote to narcissism  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection. Music by Andy Luiten Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Best Of You podcast with Dr. Alison Cook! This podcast will help you discover what brings out the best of you. It's about helping you break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover your true self in God. Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist who has worked with people for over two decades. She is also an author and teacher at heart who loves taking complex topics and breaking them down into practical tools you can apply in your everyday life. She also specializes in bringing faith into psychology. Her work came out of her own faith journey and how she found that while she wanted to know God she needed to figure out a better relationship with herself. Dr. Alison Cook shares these tools with you and the things she has learned from her own story and her work with her clients so together we can learn how to become the people we really want to become.  You will learn about what it means to have a strong sense of self, why that work matters, and why that goes hand in hand with a strong faith in God. Other topics include relationships, codependency, boundaries issues, and toxicity. You will also hear episodes on emotions - loneliness, anger, and guilt and how to discover new ones like confidence, playfulness, and joy. You will learn how to find your own voice as you turn away from harm and  pull in the good things that you need so together we can envision the life and relationships we want with God's help. Episodes come out every Thursday and Dr. Alison Cook will invite some friends and other experts to share their stories too. She'll also be spending time answering your questions along the way. Join us Thursday, May 5th for the first episode! Follow Dr. Alison Cook on Instagram @dralisoncook! While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices