Perfectionism involves setting unrealistically high standards in various areas, leading to excessive stress and a lack of self-kindness.
Recognizing and challenging beliefs associated with perfectionism can help individuals address the negative effects it can have on their lives.
Deep dives
Perfectionism is More Than Just Checking for Mistakes
Perfectionism extends beyond checking for mistakes in tasks such as writing emails. It involves setting unrealistically high standards for oneself in various areas of life, which can lead to excessive stress and a lack of self-kindness. One of the consequences of perfectionism is that individuals may constantly push themselves harder, creating a cycle of stress and false urgency. However, Jennifer Shannon, the author of 'The Monkey Mind Workout for Perfectionism,' provides strategies for working through perfectionistic tendencies. By training our minds and practicing new strategies, we can cultivate self-kindness and healthier ways of approaching our goals and tasks.
Understanding Perfectionism as a Set of Behaviors and Beliefs
Perfectionism is not solely about high achievement and getting things right. It can manifest as both being an overachiever and an underachiever. Perfectionism is rooted in a set of beliefs and behaviors, primarily a fear of making mistakes, and the belief that mistakes equal failure. This fear can lead to avoidance, procrastination, and overall difficulties in decision-making. Recognizing and challenging these beliefs associated with perfectionism can help individuals address the negative effects it can have on their lives.
The Costs of Unregulated Perfectionism
Unregulated perfectionism can lead to problems such as overworking, underachieving, imposter syndrome, social anxiety, and difficulty making decisions. Perfectionists may struggle with taking breaks, practicing self-care, and facing tasks they may not excel at immediately. The need for perfection and the fear of making mistakes can create a cycle of stress and hinder personal growth. By addressing perfectionism, individuals can reduce unnecessary stress, increase self-acceptance, and improve their overall well-being.
Practical Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism
Jennifer Shannon offers practical strategies for addressing perfectionism in her book. One approach is the 'Five Minute Jumpstart,' which helps overcome procrastination and anxiety by committing to spending just five minutes on a task. This approach can break the cycle of perfectionism and instill motivation and energy. Other strategies include using a welcoming breath to change our response to challenging emotions, randomizing tasks to promote flexibility and spontaneity, and practicing the 'Go for the No' exercise to desensitize ourselves to rejection and build resilience. These simple strategies aim to help perfectionists cultivate self-compassion, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop healthier habits.
My guest this week is Jennifer Shannon, author of the new book, The Monkey Mind Workout for Perfectionism (affiliate link). Jennifer and I explored what perfectionism is, which may be different from what you think. It includes all the ways we rigidly hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. Jennifer offers many simple and effective ways to let go of perfectionism, which you’ll hear about in this episode. When we’re able to let go of our perfectionistic impulses, we can experience less stress and anxiety, which is the natural result of treating ourselves more kindly.
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