Facing the reality of loss and feeling the pain of grief is important for healing and adjusting to a new reality.
Experiencing the pain of grief gradually forces individuals to confront the new reality, adapt, and navigate life without their loved ones.
Deep dives
Facing the Reality and Feeling the Pain
Grief therapist Julia Samuel emphasizes the importance of facing the reality of loss and allowing oneself to feel the pain associated with grief. She encourages individuals to navigate the process of mourning by recognizing and acknowledging the impact of the loss, and gradually adjusting to a new reality. This involves experiencing the pain in manageable increments while also finding moments of restorative calm. Samuel highlights the significance of love and connection in helping individuals survive and heal through grief, emphasizing the importance of seeking compassionate support from others and developing self-compassion.
The Role of Pain in Grief and Healing
According to Samuel, pain plays a crucial role in the grieving process, as it serves as an agent of change and adjustment. She explains that emotions are transmitters of information, signaling that something significant has occurred. Allowing oneself to experience the pain of grief gradually forces individuals to confront the new reality, adapt, and navigate their lives in the absence of their loved ones. Samuel encourages individuals to express and express their feelings, develop a narrative around their grief, and participate in self-care activities that help them cope and heal.
Pillars of Strength in Grief
Samuel identifies several pillars of strength that can support individuals through the grieving process. These include maintaining a connection with the person who has passed away through rituals and tangible reminders, such as creating memory boxes or repurposing personal belongings. She highlights the importance of physical movement and exercise in reducing stress and regulating emotions. Setting healthy boundaries and recognizing personal limits are also essential, enabling individuals to prioritize self-care and make informed decisions about their emotional capacity. Finally, Samuel emphasizes the value of small, manageable rituals and activities that provide comfort and a sense of normalcy amidst the pain.
Supporting Those in Grief
When supporting individuals who have experienced loss, Samuel advises having open conversations about death and dying to normalize the topic and create awareness of mortality for everyone involved. She emphasizes the significance of empathy, actively listening, and offering non-judgmental support. Samuel encourages individuals to ask the grieving person what they need rather than assuming, recognizing that grief is a complex and personal journey. Additionally, she suggests joining support groups or engaging in activities that align with personal interests to find connection and understanding. Samuel emphasizes the importance of reaching out to others and seeking support, whether through established relationships or by building new social networks.
For Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re revisiting some of the most meaningful conversations we’ve had with scientists about navigating our mental health.
Julia Samuel is one of the world’s leading grief therapists. She joins Maya to talk about why it’s important to engage with our grief, and offers strategies to help with the grieving process. They also discuss how losing someone can affect our sense of self, and the need to grieve the loss of identity that often accompanies big life changes.
Our new season starts June 5. In the meantime, connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.
