The Illusion of Controlling Our Feelings

There's this sort of blissful ignorance that when something terrible hasn't happened to us, that we have control. And then having a devastating experience throws that order completely off kilter. You become a version of yourself that you don't want to meet where you feel furious for seeing someone talk to their father because your father started. Or they can't bear to see other people or people laughing, which then you feel like you're this joyless kind of ogre. That's what you're confronted with is lots of aspects of yourself, which when you're not suffering, kind of go quiet.