Amanda Ripley, a New York Times bestselling author and conflict resolution expert, dives into the dynamics of conflict in this engaging discussion. She distinguishes between healthy conflict and high conflict, offering five essential steps to navigate disputes effectively. Ripley shares the concept of 'looping'—a technique that fosters understanding—and warns against the pitfalls of humiliation in discourse. She also emphasizes the role of 'conflict entrepreneurs' in exacerbating tensions and highlights contact theory as a means to reduce prejudice through meaningful interactions.
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insights INSIGHT
High Conflict Defined
High conflict occurs when disagreements escalate beyond the facts, becoming an "us vs. them" situation.
It's marked by a lack of hope for resolution and often harms the very thing the conflict was meant to protect.
insights INSIGHT
Healthy Conflict Defined
Healthy conflict involves a range of emotions, including curiosity and even humor, alongside anger and frustration.
It's characterized by questions and a sense of movement, unlike the stuck feeling of high conflict.
insights INSIGHT
High Conflict's Paradox
High conflict is both magnetic, offering a sense of certainty and belonging, and a trap, leading to negative consequences.
It's appealing to know who the enemy is, but this polarized view can be destructive.
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In this book, Amanda Ripley follows three American teenagers who spend a year as foreign exchange students in Finland, South Korea, and Poland. Through their experiences and Ripley's research, the book reveals how these countries have transformed their education systems through rigorous teaching, focused parenting, and a strong commitment to education. The book contrasts these systems with the American education system, highlighting areas for improvement and offering insights into how other countries have achieved high educational standards.
High Conflict
Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out
Amanda Ripley
In High Conflict, Amanda Ripley delves into the phenomenon of 'high conflict,' which is distinct from the useful friction of healthy conflict. High conflict involves good-versus-evil feuds that lead to an 'us versus them' mentality, altering brain behavior and increasing feelings of superiority while worsening the conflict. The book follows various individuals in different contexts, including a conflict expert in California, a Chicago gang leader, and communities in Colombia, to illustrate how people get trapped in and eventually escape high conflict. Ripley highlights common forces such as conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries that drive high conflict and provides insights on how to transform these conflicts into productive ones by rehumanizing opponents and reviving curiosity and wonder.
The Unthinkable
who survives when disaster strikes and why
Amanda Ripley
In 'The Unthinkable', Amanda Ripley delves into the human responses to some of history’s most epic disasters, from the explosion of the Mont Blanc munitions ship in 1917 to the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001. She consults leading brain scientists, trauma psychologists, and other disaster experts to understand the psychological and neurological aspects of survival. The book outlines the 'survival arc' of denial, deliberation, and decision, and provides practical advice on increasing one’s chances of survival in disaster scenarios. It also explores themes such as crowd psychology, the brain’s fear circuits, and the role of heroism and resilience in the face of disaster.
The Great Believers
Rebecca Makkai
The Great Believers follows two intertwining storylines. The first is set in 1980s and '90s Chicago, where Yale Tishman, an art gallery acquisitions manager, navigates the devastating effects of the AIDS epidemic on his community. The second storyline takes place in Paris in 2015, where Fiona Marcus, a secondary character from the first storyline, searches for her estranged daughter and grapples with the long-term consequences of the epidemic on her life. The novel explores themes of loss, betrayal, friendship, and survival, and it is known for its detailed portrayal of the emotional and social impacts of the AIDS crisis[2][4][5].
Sapiens
A Brief History of Humankind
Yuval Noah Harari
This book surveys the history of humankind from the Stone Age to the 21st century, focusing on Homo sapiens. It divides human history into four major parts: the Cognitive Revolution, the Agricultural Revolution, the Unification of Humankind, and the Scientific Revolution. Harari argues that Homo sapiens dominate the world due to their unique ability to cooperate in large numbers through beliefs in imagined realities such as gods, nations, money, and human rights. The book also examines the impact of human activities on the global ecosystem and speculates on the future of humanity, including the potential for genetic engineering and non-organic life.
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Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, a Washington Post contributing columnist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. She has written three award-winning, nonfiction books about three very different subjects: High Conflict, The Smartest Kids in the World, and The Unthinkable.
In this episode we talk about:
The key differences between healthy conflict and high conflict
Five key steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict
Why it's a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs; and how to spot them in your orbit
‘Looping’ – a key technique that changed Amanda’s life (and Dan’s)
How to set good boundaries while not giving up on people
One of the most reliable antidotes to all forms of bias, something called contact theory
Thoughts on how to interact with the news and social media during a presidential election
The very good reasons to avoid humiliating your opponent. She calls humiliation the nuclear bomb of emotions
10% Happier with Dan Harris 
