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Conflict Is Normal. Here’s How To Keep It Healthy And Avoid Disaster. | Amanda Ripley

Oct 14, 2024

Amanda Ripley, a New York Times bestselling author and conflict resolution expert, dives into the dynamics of conflict in this engaging discussion. She distinguishes between healthy conflict and high conflict, offering five essential steps to navigate disputes effectively. Ripley shares the concept of 'looping'—a technique that fosters understanding—and warns against the pitfalls of humiliation in discourse. She also emphasizes the role of 'conflict entrepreneurs' in exacerbating tensions and highlights contact theory as a means to reduce prejudice through meaningful interactions.

01:12:22

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Amanda Ripley

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Quick takeaways

Healthy conflict promotes productive discussions, while high conflict fosters destructive polarization that harms relationships and distorts underlying needs.

Amanda Ripley emphasizes the importance of establishing clear boundaries in conflict to facilitate constructive dialogue and protect individual well-being.

Contact theory suggests that meaningful interactions across diverse groups can significantly reduce prejudice and enhance community understanding in polarized environments.

Deep dives

Understanding Conflict Types

Healthy conflict differs significantly from high conflict, as defined by Amanda Ripley. Healthy conflict leads to productive discussions where emotions fluctuate between anger, frustration, and constructive curiosity. In contrast, high conflict becomes a destructive battleground where issues are transformed into an us-versus-them mentality, leading to misunderstandings and emotional harm. This kind of conflict fails to address underlying needs and often leads to long-term damage to relationships and, ironically, the very interests one seeks to protect.

Intro

2min

Navigating Conflict in Political Discourse

7min

Navigating the Labyrinth of High Conflict

21min

Navigating Conflict in a Divisive Era

10min

Navigating Conflict Without Humiliation

6min

Navigating High-Conflict Situations

19min

Navigating Prejudice and Healthy Conflict Resolution

3min

Navigating Prejudice and Media Influence

11min

Exploring Resources for Healthy Conflict Resolution

4min

Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, a Washington Post contributing columnist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. She has written three award-winning, nonfiction books about three very different subjects: High Conflict, The Smartest Kids in the World, and The Unthinkable.

In this episode we talk about:

The key differences between healthy conflict and high conflict
Five key steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict
Why it's a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs; and how to spot them in your orbit
‘Looping’ – a key technique that changed Amanda’s life (and Dan’s)
How to set good boundaries while not giving up on people
One of the most reliable antidotes to all forms of bias, something called contact theory
Thoughts on how to interact with the news and social media during a presidential election
The very good reasons to avoid humiliating your opponent. She calls humiliation the nuclear bomb of emotions
And much more

Related Episodes:

Fight Right: The Science of Healthy Conflict | Drs. John and Julie Gottman

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/amanda-ripley-843

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