Vinh and Ali Show #24: How to Win Friends and Influence People
02:10:28
Feedback vs Criticism Distinction
- Criticism and feedback differ fundamentally: criticism highlights problems without solutions, feedback identifies issues and suggests resolutions.\n- Effective communication requires giving constructive feedback, not destructive criticism.
Use the Shit Sandwich Technique
- Use the 'shit sandwich' technique for feedback: cushion criticism between positive comments.\n- Always combine feedback with genuine praise to avoid demoralizing people.
Power of Internal Motivation
- Internally driven motivation (self-created 'carrots') sustains long-term happiness more than external rewards.\n- Chasing rewards set by others often leads to dissatisfaction and misalignment.
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Introduction
00:00 • 2min
The Four Hour Workweek: A Guide to Success
01:51 • 2min
The Power of Reading
03:38 • 2min
The Importance of Not Criticizing
05:50 • 3min
The Evolution of Feedback
09:03 • 4min
The Importance of Giving Feedback
13:14 • 3min
The Carrot or the Stick?
16:14 • 4min
The Root of Unhappiness
20:25 • 3min
The Importance of Purpose in the Workplace
23:04 • 2min
How to Read a Nonfiction Book
25:05 • 3min
Why I'm Reading This Book
27:39 • 2min
The Importance of Consistency in the Source
29:50 • 4min
How to Find Books With High Reviews
33:44 • 2min
How to Get a Contractor Proof for a Special Program
35:18 • 4min
The Importance of Honesty
39:11 • 2min
The Importance of Expression in the Asian Culture
40:48 • 2min
How to Show Appreciation
42:48 • 2min
The Power of Messages
44:27 • 2min
The Negative View of Appreciation
45:58 • 2min
How to Accept a Compliment
47:40 • 2min
The Importance of Understanding Your Own Value
49:15 • 2min
Tips on Appreciation
51:28 • 2min
How to Be the Ultimate Communicator
53:33 • 5min
The Importance of Self-Awareness
58:10 • 2min
The Power of Self Awareness
01:00:33 • 4min
The Importance of Sharing Interesting Stories
01:04:57 • 2min
The Importance of Sharing Your Story
01:06:34 • 2min
How to Be Interesting and Be Interested in Others
01:08:33 • 3min
How to Be Interesting When You're Short on Time
01:11:33 • 2min
How to Say Axel to Your Clients
01:13:31 • 4min
How to Be an Interesting Speaker
01:17:05 • 2min
How to Create Good Deal Value and Win Win Outcomes
01:18:39 • 4min
How to Create Maximum Value in a Negotiation
01:22:13 • 4min
The Importance of Likeability in Negotiation
01:25:44 • 2min
The Importance of Relationships
01:27:40 • 2min
How to Win Enemies and Make People Hate You
01:29:59 • 2min
The Power of Emotional Journaling
01:31:32 • 2min
How to Communicate With an Argumentee
01:33:56 • 2min
The Importance of Journals in Relationships
01:36:19 • 3min
The Dark Side of Life
01:39:05 • 2min
How to Remember a Person's Name
01:40:45 • 3min
How to Remember People's Names
01:43:45 • 2min
The Importance of Reputation
01:46:07 • 2min
The Power of Growth
01:48:00 • 2min
The Importance of Treating People as They Could Be
01:50:09 • 3min
The Power of Vision
01:52:43 • 3min
How to Be a Great Leader Brother
01:55:17 • 2min
How to Make New Friends
01:57:04 • 4min
The Power of Friendship
02:00:38 • 3min
The Importance of Dramatizing Your Ideas
02:03:10 • 6min
In this episode Vinh and Ali discuss Dale Carneigie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People
The core idea in this book is that you can change other peoples behaviour by changing your own. It teaches you the principles to better understand people, and become a more likeable person, improves relationships, win others other and influence behaviour through leadership.
Topics include:
- The difference between feedback and criticism. Building the bank of good will.
- Are you motivated by The Carrot or the Stick. The power of internally driven motivation.
- One of the best guides for how to read a non-fiction / personal development book.
- The power of books to help solve problems
- The time when Ali and Vinh used this book to generate an amazing outcome.
- The power of showing appreciation and a few practical tips for how to do this.
- Telling stories to build rapid rapport
- Take a personality test to improve your self awareness
- To really connect find the balance of being interesting and being interested.
- Negotiating for a win-win outcome.
- If you're feeling a strong negative emotion, cool off or reconsider before sending it.
- Know people's names
- Play to the upside of peoples potential and their growth. Appreciate your champions and be a champion for others.
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