Episode #31 - The “how” of feeling feelings even when they feel too big
Sep 27, 2023
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In a candid conversation, ADHD coach Paula Engebretson shares her expertise in embracing emotional awareness. She discusses the unique challenges individuals with ADHD face, emphasizing self-compassion as a key to navigating complex emotions. Paula delves into the journey of connecting with genuine feelings against societal pressures, exploring strategies to overcome emotional barriers. The discussion also touches on rejection sensitivity, coping with anxiety, and practical techniques like breathwork to facilitate emotional engagement and personal growth.
Adopting strategies to invite and support ourselves in feeling emotions can reduce shame and foster personal growth.
Understanding the neuroscience behind ADHD reveals how it intensifies emotions, emphasizing the need for effective emotional regulation techniques.
Gradual exposure to emotions and practicing awareness of emotional shifts can significantly improve one's ability to manage feelings effectively.
Deep dives
Confidence Course Workshops Announcement
The host announces that the upcoming confidence course workshops have been rescheduled to October 12th and 13th, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Central Time. Recordings will also be available for those unable to attend live. Participants are encouraged to sign up for the confidence course to benefit from the teachings offered in these workshops. This initiative is intended to help individuals apply key concepts in their lives effectively.
Understanding Feelings and Emotional Regulation
The conversation explores how to deal with emotions more effectively, emphasizing the need to feel emotions instead of simply thinking about them. The hosts, both coaches and Enneagram 6 individuals, share their insights on how ADHD can intensify emotional experiences and dysregulation. One of the key points discussed is that emotions are often bigger in the body for individuals with ADHD, which affects their emotional regulation. The discussion highlights the importance of working with these feelings instead of tightly controlling or avoiding them.
The Impact of ADHD on Emotional Experiences
The episode delves into how ADHD affects emotional responses, referencing neuroscience that links lower dopamine levels and an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex to heightened feelings. Individuals with ADHD often lack the same emotional guardrails as neurotypicals, leading to impulsive reactions to emotions. The hosts use the analogy of an engine with weak brakes to illustrate how ADHD individuals can experience overwhelming emotions without effective ways to slow down. Understanding this framework is crucial for developing healthier relationships with one's feelings.
Addressing Avoidance of Feelings
Avoidance of situations known to elicit strong feelings is discussed as a common strategy that can limit personal growth and experiences. The concept of rejection sensitivity in ADHD individuals is examined, noting how it can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors like not applying for opportunities due to fear of failure. The directive to embrace challenging emotions and identify them without judgment is emphasized as a critical step toward overcoming avoidance. By recognizing emotions and working with them, rather than against them, individuals can foster resilience.
Strategies for Feeling and Embracing Emotions
Effective strategies for experiencing emotions are highlighted, including the importance of gradual exposure to feelings and using techniques like bilateral stimulation to ease emotional tensions. The hosts suggest practicing awareness of slight emotional shifts throughout the day, enabling better emotional recognition. They recommend small steps, such as checking in with feelings at various times, to build an understanding of one's emotional landscape. Ultimately, embracing emotions in a manageable way can lead to significant breakthroughs in emotional regulation.
In this episode Kristin and Paula discuss the nuance around inviting and supporting our systems to do challenging things without shame. They also get into real strategies to help you make feeling feelings more accessible. As with all things, it’s in the doing, that real change happens.
Paula Engebretson is an ADHD coach and productivity enthusiast. Her mission is to help fellow ADHDers step out of the neurotypical box, embrace their strengths, and make time for the things they value most. Through one-on-one and small group coaching, she helps her clients cut through the overwhelm by clarifying priorities, taking action, and working with their brains to get things done.As the host of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, Paula delivers fresh episodes every Monday, filled with actionable strategies and support designed for ADHD brains. You can learn more about Paula at the links below.
