Matthew Brensilver, a meditation teacher and co-author on adolescence mindfulness, dives deep into the essence of being present. He tackles the overwhelming nature of intrusive memories during meditation and the brain's predictive tendencies. With insights on mindfulness as a form of exposure therapy, he emphasizes treating past experiences as sensations for emotional healing. Brensilver also discusses the profound benefits of meditation retreats, encouraging listeners to embrace uncertainty and cultivate a compassionate relationship with their thoughts.
Being present in the moment is crucial for psychological well-being, as it allows us to heal our past, complete unfinished business, and develop a compassionate relationship with ourselves.
To truly be present, we must surrender the need for constant prediction and control of the future, opening ourselves up to the uncertainty and vulnerability of the present moment.
Memory arises during meditation and by welcoming these memories with awareness and love, we can heal and transform them, leading to a greater sense of wholeness and wisdom in our relationship with the past.
Deep dives
The Importance of Being Present in Psychological Well-Being
Being present in the moment is often described as a vaunted state, but practical information on achieving it is limited. Matthew Brensilver, a meditation teacher, argues that being in the now is crucial for psychological well-being. By surrendering the need for constant vigilance and prediction of the future, we can experience a radical openness and vulnerability in the present moment. This involves accepting the fullness of our past, including memories and undigested emotions, as well as releasing the grip of future-oriented thinking. This process allows us to heal our past, complete unfinished business, and develop a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. It also prompts us to differentiate between false alarms and true threats, and cultivate an open-hearted attitude towards our inner experiences.
Understanding the Present Moment and Mindfulness
The present moment is not simply a sliver of time sandwiched between past and future. It is the culmination of the entirety of our past experiences and the impelling force of the future. To be truly present, we need to let go of the urge to constantly predict and control what comes next. This involves surrendering the familiar narratives and models we construct in our minds, which are designed to ensure safety and security. By opening to the uncertainty of the present moment and accepting the vulnerability it entails, we can develop a deeper sense of presence and liberation from becoming fixated on past or future. Mindfulness practice plays a crucial role in this process by allowing us to meet each moment with curiosity, love, and acceptance.
The Role of Memory in Meditation
Memory arises during meditation as thoughts, images, emotions, and bodily sensations connected to past experiences. Rather than rejecting or avoiding these memories, mindfulness encourages us to welcome them with awareness and love. By creating a safe space for undigested past experiences and memories to arise, we can heal and transform them. Through the practice of mindfulness, we gradually learn to metabolize and digest the intensity and stickiness of memory, allowing it to pass naturally. This process leads to a greater sense of wholeness and a shift in our relationship with the past, where wisdom and love replace fear and aversion.
The Brain's Predilection for Predictions
Neuroscientists are increasingly recognizing the brain as a prediction machine, where it constantly models and predicts the future. This neurological tendency is deeply intertwined with our survival instincts and the urge to ensure safety and security in each moment. However, becoming fixated on predicting and controlling the future prevents us from fully experiencing the present moment. Mindfulness practice allows us to notice and deescalate the constant prediction and modeling of the mind. By recognizing the false alarms generated by our survival instincts, we can cultivate a sense of trust and surrender to the present moment, opening ourselves up to a deeper sense of presence and freedom from the compulsion to constantly anticipate what comes next.
The Practice of Non-Becoming in the Present Moment
Becoming is the sense of continuously striving and orienting towards the future, seeing the present moment as a means to an end. Liberation from becoming involves releasing the constant need for improvement, chasing future happiness, and ensuring safety. Instead, we bring warmth, wisdom, and acceptance to our experiences as they arise in the present moment. This non-becoming approach requires vulnerability and trust in the practice. It challenges the notion that our happiness lies solely in the future and invites us to find respite in the ever-changing present moment. Developing an open heart and embracing the impermanence of life allows us to experience a deeper sense of presence, freedom, and a more compassionate relationship with ourselves and the world.
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Tackling one of the best known contemplative clichés: being in the present moment and “inhabiting the now.”
Matthew Brensilver, MSW, PhD, teaches retreats at the Insight Retreat Center, Spirit Rock and other Buddhist centers.He was previously program director for Mindful Schools and for more than a decade, was a core teacher at Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society. Before committing to teach meditation full-time, he spent years doing research on addiction pharmacotherapy at the UCLA Center for Behavioral and Addiction Medicine. Each summer, he lectures at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center on the intersections between mindfulness, science and psychotherapy. Matthew is the co-author of two books about meditation during adolescence and continues to be interested in the unfolding dialogue between Buddhism and science.
In this episode we talk about:
What being present actually means
What to do when Buddhist teachings or meditation instructions feel out of reach
What to do when a memory arises in meditation, especially a difficult one
The brain's, at times, exhausting, evolutionarily wired tendency toward constant prediction
The benefits of going on meditation retreats
Distinguishing between true alarms and false alarms
