Michael McQueen is a bestselling author and international keynote speaker renowned for his expertise in navigating change. In this lively discussion, he unpacks the complexities of influencing entrenched beliefs, emphasizing the importance of addressing the instinctive mind first. Michael highlights the pivotal role of listening and asks transformative questions that encourage open dialogue. He also discusses overcoming the fear of loss in persuasion, presenting change as a growth opportunity while preserving existing beliefs. Prepare to shift your perspective!
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insights INSIGHT
Convincing vs. Changing
People often mistake agreement under pressure for genuine change.
True change requires agency and a sense of control, or it won't last.
insights INSIGHT
Feeling Right vs. Being Right
Presenting more facts doesn't guarantee changed minds.
The human mind prioritizes feeling right over being right, clinging to certainty for safety.
insights INSIGHT
Two Minds
We have two minds: an inquiring mind (logical) and an instinctive mind (emotional).
Persuasion often mistakenly targets the inquiring mind, but the instinctive mind drives most decisions.
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In 'Mindstuck', Michael McQueen provides a practical guide to changing minds by exploring the psychology of stubbornness and offering five key techniques: reframing, building affinity, preserving dignity, harnessing conformity, and employing empathy. The book draws on insights from neuroscience and behavioral economics to help readers navigate resistance and influence others effectively.
Getting to yes
negotiating agreement without giving in
William Ury
Roger Drummer Fisher
Bruce Patton
Getting to Yes, written by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, introduces the concept of principled negotiation. This approach separates the people from the problem, focuses on interests rather than positions, invents options for mutual gain, and insists on using objective criteria. The book provides strategies to manage emotions, avoid common negotiation traps, and deal with 'dirty tricks' used by other parties. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the other side's perceptions, managing misperceptions, and creating a collaborative environment to reach agreements that satisfy both parties[1][4][5].
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].
Michael McQueen: Mindstuck
Michael McQueen has spent the past two decades helping organizations and leaders win the battle for relevance. He specializes in helping clients navigate uncertainty and stay one step ahead of change.
Michael is a bestselling author of nine books and a familiar face on the international conference circuit, having shared the stage with the likes of Bill Gates, Dr. John C. Maxwell, and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. Having formerly been named Australia’s Keynote Speaker of the Year, he has been inducted into the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame. He is the author of Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds*.
There’s a lot of evidence that our minds would rather feel right than be right. How then, do you influence someone when they are really convinced of their position? In this conversation, Michael and I discuss the initial steps that help in changing people’s minds.
Key Points
Our tendency is to convince to the inquiring mind, but we’ll do better if we speak to the instinctive mind first.
Help others lessen loss and maintain dignity by preserving titles, language, and symbols in things that are new.
Instead of trying to make an argument, ask a question that allows the other person to listen to themselves.
Ask questions that clarify points of resistance or misunderstanding.
Speak like you’re right, listen like you’re wrong.
Resources Mentioned
Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds* by Michael McQueen
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)
Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500)
Three Practices for Thriving in Negotiations, with William Ury (episode 669)
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