We Can Do Hard Things 142. Codependence: How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody Beattie
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Oct 25, 2022 AI Snips
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Codependency Undermines Self-Trust
- Codependency makes us feel crazy because we lie to ourselves and trust others' distortions over our own truth.
- Melody says self-gaslighting is common and erodes instinctive self-trust, causing misalignment.
Origin Story Of The Idea
- Melody traced her discovery of codependency to a painful marriage and recovery work in the 1970s in Minnesota.
- Her obsessive search from 1976 to 1985 led to writing Codependent No More.
Cultural Roots Of Codependency
- Cultural conditioning, especially patriarchy, taught women selflessness that resembles codependency.
- Melody argues many women's roles historically embedded caretaking and dependency as survival strategies.