E077 - FBI Negotiator Reveals How To Read Anyone In 32 Seconds | Chris Voss
Feb 25, 2025
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Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of 'Never Split the Difference', shares his expert insights on negotiation. He emphasizes the power of tactical empathy over manipulation, teaching how to read people effectively in just 32 seconds. Voss discusses high-stakes negotiation tactics, revealing how to spot deception and build trust. He connects lessons from hostage scenarios to business dealings, providing essential advice for entrepreneurs and highlighting the emotional intelligence needed for success.
Tactical empathy is fundamental in both negotiation and conflict resolution, enabling individuals to effectively understand and adapt to their counterparts' needs.
Making mistakes during negotiations serves as a vital learning opportunity, fostering the development of instinctive negotiation skills through practice in low-stakes interactions.
Delivering difficult news requires emotional intelligence, with advance warnings helping recipients process information while preserving important relationships.
Deep dives
The Power of the Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind processes an astonishing 20 million bits of information per second, significantly eclipsing the conscious mind's 40 bits. This vast capability informs our gut instincts, enabling individuals to react to situations quickly and often intuitively. Despite its power, the subconscious requires experiential data to function optimally, which means that as people age, their instincts typically sharpen due to accumulated life experiences. Recognizing the difference between gut feelings and fear responses becomes crucial in making sound decisions throughout life.
The Importance of Tactical Empathy
Tactical empathy serves as a powerful tool in negotiation and conflict resolution, enabling individuals to defuse potentially violent situations with effective communication. Drawing from his extensive experience as a hostage negotiator, Chris Voss emphasizes that empathy allows negotiators to understand their counterparts better and adapt their strategies accordingly. Additionally, he notes that empathy not only disarms negativity but can often change the mindset of others in a dialogue. The ability to practice empathy effectively is cultivated through both training and real-life experiences, such as volunteering on crisis hotlines.
Learning from Mistakes in Negotiation
Mistakes are integral to both personal and professional growth in negotiation scenarios, as they provide invaluable lessons about human behavior. Chris Voss stresses the importance of engaging with low-stakes interactions to practice negotiation skills without the pressure of significant consequences. This experimentation enables individuals to refine their approach, learn from missteps, and develop an instinctive understanding of negotiation dynamics. Recognizing patterns in behavior, both in oneself and in others, enhances an individual's capacity to negotiate effectively in high-stakes situations.
Strategies for Delivering Bad News
Delivering bad news is a delicate task that requires emotional intelligence and preparation to maintain relationships. Chris Voss advises warning the recipient beforehand to brace them for what is to come, which allows them to process the information more effectively. He recounts his own experiences, emphasizing the importance of conveying bad news in a way that acknowledges the emotional impact it will have. By practicing straightforward and compassionate communication, relationships can be preserved, even in challenging circumstances.
The Value of Continuous Learning
Continuous learning is essential for both personal development and maintaining effective negotiation skills. Chris Voss underlines that individuals should always strive to learn from their experiences, regardless of their age or the stage of their career. Embracing mistakes and seeking to understand how to improve can lead to profound insights and skill enhancement. The ability to adapt and grow through ongoing education, especially in negotiation strategies, becomes a key factor in achieving long-term success.
Negotiation is often depicted in movies as a tense, dramatic showdowns, won through aggressive tactics and mind games. But Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of 'Never Split the Difference', joins us to dispel these myths and reveal what truly works. Real negotiation isn't about manipulation—it’s about tactical empathy, trust, and understanding human nature. From high-stakes hostage crises to boardroom deals, Chris teaches the same fundamental skills: reading people accurately, defusing conflicts, and delivering difficult news effectively. Tune in as Chris exposes manipulation tactics, reveals how to spot a liar, as well as essential advice for entrepreneurs and leaders navigating complex negotiations.00:00 Chris Voss introduction02:09 Tactical empathy & bourbon launch03:27 First hostage case lessons05:08 The draw of hostage negotiation06:55 Crisis hotlines shape negotiation skills09:39 Defusing violent situations13:32 From field agent to teacher19:05 Inside Colombian kidnapping cases23:17 How kidnapping funds terror25:45 The weight of high-stakes talks27:53 Hostage skills in business deals28:18 Reading manipulation tactics30:51 Truth about hostage movies33:21 Navigating the film world35:40 Breaking down Black Swan Method38:50 Teaching entrepreneurs to negotiate41:49 Spotting the wrong deals46:53 Where new entrepreneurs stumble48:19 Trusting your gut instincts51:18 Signs someone's not telling truth55:02 Building trust in relationships59:17 Delivering difficult news1:06:31 Leading through uncertainty1:08:11 Solving team conflicts1:12:40 Using charm to win deals1:15:31 Learning from past mistakes1:20:47 Final negotiation wisdom» Escape the 9-5 & build your dream life - https://www.digitalplaybook.net/» Transform your physique - https://www.thrstapp.com/» My clothing brand, THRST - https://thrstofficial.com» Custom Bioniq supplements: https://www.bioniq.com/mikethurston • 40% off your first month of Bioniq GO • 20% off your first month of Bioniq PRO» Join @Whoop and get your first month for free - https://join.whoop.com/mikethurston» Follow Chris«Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator/?hl=enBlack Swan Group: https://www.blackswanltd.com/chris-vossNever Split The Difference: https://www.blackswanltd.com/never-split-the-difference
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