Brad Stulberg, author of Master of Change, talks about developing rugged flexibility and embracing change. He discusses allostasis as a better model for dealing with disruption, the cycle of order, disorder, and reorder, and ways to navigate change with rugged flexibility. Topics include adopting a being versus having orientation, managing expectations, and diversifying your identity.
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Quick takeaways
Rugged flexibility involves being strong and adaptable, holding onto core values while being flexible in their application.
Managing expectations and adopting a responsive mindset are essential in navigating change effectively.
Developing a fluid sense of self allows for personal growth and adaptation while maintaining core values.
Deep dives
Developing Rugged Flexibility
Rugged flexibility is the key to thriving in the face of constant change. It's about being both strong and adaptable, holding onto core values while being flexible in how they are applied. This mindset allows individuals to navigate the cycles of allostasis, which involve constant change and adaptation. By being open to the flow of life and developing a being-oriented approach instead of a having orientation, individuals can maintain a sense of stability through change. Diversifying one's identity by cultivating various roles and interests also plays a crucial role in developing rugged flexibility.
The Power of Expectations
Our expectations often hinder our ability to navigate change effectively. When our expectations are out of alignment with reality, it can lead to distress and an inability to respond thoughtfully. By updating our expectations and embracing a responsive mindset, we can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more deliberate and wise actions. Adopting the four P's approach (pause, process, plan, proceed) can help individuals develop a bias towards responding rather than reacting, providing a more thoughtful and intentional approach to change.
Fostering Responsive Thinking
Responsive thinking is crucial in developing rugged flexibility. Internally, individuals can practice creating space between stimulus and response by taking deep breaths and naming their emotions. This cultivates a pause and allows for a more thoughtful and deliberate response to unexpected changes. Externally, putting oneself in responsive contexts, such as reducing exposure to reactive environments like political Twitter, can further support the development of responsive thinking. These practices, both internal and external, contribute to a resilient and adaptable mindset in the face of constant change.
Managing Expectations in Life
One key insight from the podcast episode is the importance of managing expectations in different areas of life. The speaker gives examples of fatherhood and sports training to highlight how unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and disappointment. The advice is to approach these situations with an open mind and avoid having fixed expectations. By doing so, individuals can navigate challenges more effectively and adjust their expectations according to the reality of each situation.
Developing a Fluid Sense of Self
Another main idea discussed in the podcast is the concept of developing a fluid sense of self. The speaker compares it to the idea of being like water, which can adapt and flow in different situations. A fluid sense of self recognizes that individuals change over time and acknowledges the need for flexibility and evolution as they face obstacles and challenges. While having core values to guide one's path, it is also important to be open to change and growth. This approach allows for personal development without being rigid or resistant to new experiences.
Change is a constant. Changes big and small are always happening in our lives, while the world also changes around us. We can either resist these changes as unmooring threats to our sense of self, or embrace them as chances to get better and stronger.
The key to taking that second approach, my guest says, is developing rugged flexibility. His name is Brad Stulberg, and he's the author of Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. Today on the show, Brad unpacks why allostasis is a better model for dealing with disruption than homeostasis, and how healthy change moves in a cycle of order, disorder, and reorder. We then discuss ways to move through this cycle with rugged flexibility — an approach to life that keeps some things solid and stable, while letting others change and flow. We talk about the importance of adopting a being versus having orientation, managing your expectations, diversifying your identity, and more.