Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You w/ Ethan Kross
Jan 31, 2025
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Ethan Kross, aUniversity of Michigan professor and director of the Emotion and Self-Control Lab, dives deep into emotion regulation. He shares practical strategies for parents to help children navigate anger and anxiety without suppressing feelings. Kross emphasizes viewing emotional challenges as growth opportunities, using tools like music for emotional management, and highlights the vital role of family culture in fostering resilience. Discover how understanding emotions can empower both parents and kids to thrive.
Recognizing that all emotions serve a purpose, even negative ones, helps develop valuable emotional regulation strategies in everyday life.
Acknowledge the usefulness of negative emotions, such as anxiety, to empower children and cultivate their resilience and emotional intelligence.
Creating a nurturing home environment centered on emotional awareness equips families to face life's challenges with resilience and understanding.
Deep dives
Understanding Emotions and Their Functions
Emotions function like software packages that are activated in response to specific situations, helping individuals deal with those situations effectively. For example, experiencing anger may result from a perceived violation of personal standards, triggering energy to address the issue. This response can be beneficial in parenting, as it prompts parents to safeguard their children's well-being, especially in situations perceived as dangerous. Recognizing that all emotions serve a purpose, even negative ones, helps in developing emotional regulation strategies that are valuable in everyday life.
The Role of Negative Emotions in Growth
Experiencing negative emotions is a normal part of life and can be liberating when viewed in the right context. Society often promotes the idea of eliminating negative emotions, but acknowledging their usefulness can empower individuals and their children. For instance, understanding that anxiety can signal the need to prepare for important events helps reframe such feelings in a positive light. By teaching children that negative emotions can have a beneficial function, parents cultivate resilience and emotional intelligence.
Concrete Tools for Managing Emotions
In moments of emotional distress, reframing the experience for children can help them understand and manage their feelings better. Parents can instill a variety of tools to assist their children, such as deep breathing exercises or using distanced self-talk to offer encouragement. Additionally, discussing emotional strategies during calmer moments allows children to internalize these tools, making them more accessible when needed. This approach positions parents as supportive figures, enhancing the children's ability to navigate their emotional landscape with confidence.
The Importance of Flexibility in Emotional Responses
Effective emotional management requires recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all solution; flexibility is key. Parents should assess their children's unique responses to emotional situations and adapt their strategies accordingly. For example, facilitating a cooling-off period after a conflict can help both parents and children approach issues more rationally. Emphasizing the idea that emotional responses can be adjusted empowers families to view emotions as manageable rather than overwhelming.
Cultivating a Supportive Home Culture
Creating a nurturing home environment involves establishing values and beliefs surrounding emotional experiences. Parents can deliberately shape their household culture by emphasizing the importance of acknowledging emotions and providing tools to assist family members in managing them. Communication of these values creates a foundation where children can thrive emotionally and seek help when needed. Ultimately, fostering a culture of emotional awareness and regulation equips families to face life's challenges with resilience and understanding.
Emotions are a fundamental part of being human—but how do we help kids navigate them without rushing to fix or suppress their feelings? This week, we sit down with emotion regulation expert Ethan Kross, author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You, to break down the science of emotions and self-regulation. From handling anger and anxiety to fostering emotional resilience, this conversation is packed with practical tools and insights for parents and kids alike.
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