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CLEANING UP YOUR MENTAL MESS with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Episode #119: 6 Steps to Stop Self-Sabotage, how to Identify the triggers to self-sabotage that are unique to you + tips to deal with loss and grief with Dr. Judy Ho
Jan 9, 2020
Dr. Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist and co-host of CBS’s The Doctors, discusses self-sabotage and how to prevent it. Topics include modifying thoughts and behaviors, identifying triggers unique to you, unlocking willpower, dealing with grief, distress tolerance, and the role of community. The six steps to stop self-sabotage are also discussed, along with the concept of failure to launch syndrome in younger generations.
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Quick takeaways
- Recognizing and addressing underlying drivers is crucial in overcoming self-sabotaging behavior.
- Embracing grief and recognizing it as a reflection of profound love and attachment can be transformative.
Deep dives
Self-Sabotage and the Importance of Values
Self-sabotage occurs when individuals get in their own way, hindering their progress despite having good intentions or goals. It often stems from factors such as low self-concept, internalized beliefs, fear of change, and excessive need for control. Recognizing and addressing these underlying drivers is crucial in overcoming self-sabotaging behavior. One effective approach involves embracing awareness of one's thoughts and identifying patterns of rumination, negative thinking, or catastrophizing. Interventions, like cognitive-behavioral techniques, aim to modify unhelpful thoughts or reframe them while also acknowledging the acceptance and diffusion of negative thoughts as temporary events. Additionally, values-based living plays a vital role as individuals align their goals with their core values, focusing not on extrinsic achievements but on intrinsic growth and fulfillment. Embracing failures and setbacks as part of the learning process and valuing personal development over external validation contribute to resilience and long-lasting positive change.
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