Hey team, this week I’m talking with Natalie Lue about her book, The Joy of Saying No. Natalie is the author of the popular relationship and self-esteem blog Baggage Reclaim, as well as the host of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast. With ADHD, we can often end up as people-pleasers, always putting other people’s needs above our own. And while being helpful is a great trait, we also need to make sure that we’re taking time for ourselves as well. In our conversation today, Natalie and I discuss how to get out of people pleasing and work on setting up boundaries to help keep us on track with what we really want to be doing. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/136 This Episode's Top Tips People pleasing is about suppressing one's needs, desires, expectations, feelings, and opinions to prioritize others' needs and avoid negative consequences. By people pleasing, we create unspoken contracts, and this can lead to frustration when the other party does not fulfill their end. We are often dropping hints instead of being direct about our needs because of our fear of rejection or negative consequences. While it can be hard to say no, it is vital that we are using our no to help us set boundaries that will help us curtail our people-pleasing and allow to prioritize our own well-being.

Hey team, this week we’re going to be talking about using our tools but, more specifically, getting back into the habit after we’ve stopped using them. ADHD has the tendency to make us consistently inconsistent, and that can lead us to finding ourselves having dropped habits, routines, and tactics that had been helping us. Sometimes we need to find new habits, but sometimes we need to look back and figure out why we stopped doing all those things that were helping us get through the day. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/135 This Episode's Top Tips There are a lot of reasons that we might stop using a particular tool, from boredom to forgetfulness to changes in our life circumstances. It’s okay for us to change how we’re using our tools, but it’s also important that we’re making that decision consciously. One of the best ways to make sure we’re not losing track of our tools is to create an ADHD toolbox where we’re keeping track of all the tools that we find helpful in our lives. When we’re looking to reinstate some of our previous tools, it can be important to look back and figure out what caused us to stop using them in the first place; however, when we’re doing this, it’s important that we stay out of judgment and approach the question with curiosity.

Hey team, this week I’m talking with one of my favorite people Roxie Martin - I got to know Roxie back when I was doing ADDmin work for the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. Since then we’ve become fast friends and frequently check in with each other. Recently we were talking about Roxie’s decluttering coaching, and I thought this would be an excellent topic for the show because cleaning and decluttering are things that just always seem to come up. In this episode, we talk about the difference between cleaning, decluttering, and organizing - we get into the specifics of how we can be more effective in our cleaning, how we can better approach declutting, and a whole lot more.  Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/134 Be sure to check out https://www.roxiemartincoaching.com/

Hey team, this week we’re going to be talking about the upcoming change to Daylight Saving Time in the US - but don’t worry, if you’re not one of those places that experience a spring time-switch, there is still going to be a lot of great stuff we cover in this episode. Our natural sleeping and wake times are controlled by our circadian rhythm, so we’re going to be discussing that in some detail and what we can do to help get ready for the time change so that it doesn’t hit us like a ton of bricks. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/133 This Episode's Top Tips When we’re preparing for an upcoming time change, we can start moving our wake and sleep times gradually to match up with the change. While it can be tough to adjust our bedtime if we focus on setting a strong bedtime routine, we can use that help us get sleepy and work on adjusting when we’re starting to get ready for bed instead of just when we want to fall asleep. Our circadian rhythm dictates our sleep cycle and energy throughout the day - we can influence it with things like morning sunlight, exercise, when we’re eating, and in some cases, melatonin.

Hey team - this week I’m bringing you a conversation I had with Skye Rapson about burnout and boundaries. Skye is the founder of Unconventional Organization - a New Zealand-based coaching group that specializes in online coaching. They focus on providing research-backed and strengths-based ADHD support to help you get unstuck in your life. You may remember Skye from a previous episode last year, but we had such a fun conversation then that we decided to have another round. In this discussion, we drill into what burnout is, how to work on getting out of burnout, and then also how setting boundaries can help us stay out of burnout in the first place. And really, this is a fantastic episode to help capstone this series on slowing down.  Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/132 Be sure to check out https://www.unconventionalorganisation.com

Hey team, we’re back at it for another episode about slowing down, but this time we’re looking at activation energy, which is the idea we’re going to need to have a certain amount of energy available to get started on a task. When we’re getting ready to get to the next thing on our to-do list, sometimes it can feel like it’s just too much, and getting started is really going to be the hardest part. Activation energy is that minimum threshold for us to get going on that thing, and some days it just isn’t there, and so today, we’re going to be looking at ways that we make getting started a little bit easier. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/131 This Episode's Top Tips Activation energy is what takes us from thinking about doing something to actually doing it. It’s what can keep us on the couch when we feel like we could be doing something else. When we rely on urgency being our primary mode of motivation it can make it increasingly hard to work on anything that isn’t urgent. Different tasks take different amounts of energy to activate on and we can work on lower that barrier to entry or increasing our amount of available energy. We can do this by making tasks more fun, using accountability, and breaking our tasks into smaller parts.

Hey team, this week we’re going to keep up our discussion of slowing down, but we’re going to be focusing on memory - well, kind of. With ADHD, it can be hard for us to remember all of the things that we need to do, so what comes into play is the good old to-do list. Because when we’re talking about memory, what we’re really talking about in this context is task management. How we’re going to remember the things we want to do and how we’re going to go about doing those things. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the full show note at HackingYourADHD.com/130 This Episode's Top Tips To-do lists serve as a way for us to externalize our memory - we don’t have to mentally keep track of all the things we write down. But if we don’t properly use and curate our lists, they stop being a trusted source of information. We can use our to-do lists to help plan our days, but if we find ourselves constantly not finishing our daily plans, that is a sign that we need to cut back on how much we’re trying to accomplish in a single day. Part of slowing down is accepting that we don’t have to do it all. To help keep our to-do lists from becoming overwhelming, it is important we’re saying no more. One of the most important people we need to say to no more, however, is ourselves.

Hey team, this week we’re going to be talking about slowing down. One of the worst parts of ADHD is that we often feel like we have to do all of the things right now. That if we don’t jump from task to task to task, we’re just not going to get anything done. We live a life where we only have two modes, doing nothing and super speed. It’s exhausting, and we often find ourselves missing important things because we can’t keep up that pace. In today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about how we can work on slowing down and trying to find a more comfortable middle ground between those two modes. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page This Episode’s Top Tips When we’re talking about slowing down, there are three areas that we need to focus on - time management, task management, and activation energy. While the simplest solution seems to just do fewer things, when we’re choosing to do less, it becomes more important for us to be selecting the right tasks. We can also feel the need to maintain momentum in our day, which can lead us to overdo it and burn ourselves out. If we can build the belief in ourselves that we will, in fact, make time for all those important but not urgent tasks, it can help us slow down and do only what we really need to do.

I’ve been thinking about the phrase, “I want to hit the ground running,” and how that’s kind of how many of us try and start the year. I know that’s how I felt - and honestly, in that first week of the year, I was doing great… but then I got covid. That really threw a snag into things. With ADHD we tend to like to go fast with things; we don’t want to wait around. But that’s usually not actually our best strategy. Going from one urgent task to the next can keep us motivated, but it can make it hard to get to anything that isn’t urgent. In today’s episode, we’re going to be exploring how we use urgency as a drive to get more done but how we also need to learn to make time for all those important but not urgent tasks. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page This Episode’s Top Tips Just because something feels urgent doesn’t mean that it’s actually important that we do it right that instant. We often have We often use deadlines to motivate ourselves into doing the important things, but living deadline to deadline only allows us to work on things that at urgent and let’s many things that are important but not urgent fall by the wayside. Using accountability is a great way for us to follow through with our plans to complete all of our important but not urgent tasks. We can do this either through creating artificial deadlines or through co-working.

Hey team, this week we have another listener question: Hi there. I just wanted to say thank you so much. I was riding my bike while listening to your podcast and that really helped my brain to be able to digest the information and I was audibly saying, “Yes. Right. Okay.” And it was like I was talking to you, so I just wanted to say thank you so much. I'm not even sure if I have a question, but today I did Google, “What's it like for people who don't have ADHD?”And in the three years of you having this podcast, forgive me if that's one that maybe I haven't listened to yet and completely ignore this and just take the compliment and the celebratory win of you are really affecting people's lives. I know that you've affected mine, and I know people have asked me, Hey, continue with your podcast, but because of some of the things I'm learning and managing with my own executive functioning, I haven't been as consistent with my own podcast. So it's really inspirational to know that you are out here doing it and honestly had such a wonderful structure and the music, and I'm like, wow, he really understands. He's really someone who actually understands what it's like in the brain and in the mind. So it was just such a pleasant experience to have found this podcast and I'm just so, so grateful. So I just wanted to say that. Thank you. Thank you so much for the kind words about the podcast and you know what, that isn’t an episode I’ve done - it isn’t even a question I’ve ever thought about that much, but it is an incredibly intriguing one. Often when we’re talking about ADHD we’re talking about what it’s like to have ADHD, but from my standpoint, well I already know what that’s like, so what would it be like if I didn’t have it? So that is the question we’re going to be looking at in this episode as well as looking into the terms neurotypical and neurodivergent as well as getting into a little bit about masking. Support me on Patreon Feel free to ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/noadhd