Redemptive Living Radio

In this week’s episode, we talk about what it looks like to provide reassurance in the recovery process.  Sometimes we as wives will ask questions like - “Is everything okay?”, “what is going on?”, “are you okay?”.  Men in the recovery process might see this more as an invitation to “dump" or even an indictment when what she really needs is reassurance of his integrity, the recovery process and honoring her intuition that something feels off. Here are some of the things we cover: - how he can pivot from self-focused to wife-focused - consciously shifting from proving behavior to being engaged in the process - three key areas to cover when providing reassurance We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!       Applications drop today for the Women’s Retreat coming up this Spring - you can get on the list here to get all the details!   There will also be a men’s workshop in March and you can get all the details for that here. We have several new groups starting in February.  Click here for all the details. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here.  Would love for you to consider taking this with me, please add your name to the wait list so that you are the first to know when registration for the next round opens.  (The wait list just serves as a place for those with interest to get the first email.) Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

In this week’s episode, we talk about our broken dryer, broken vacuum cleaner and how I (Shelley) still wear my athletic gear from two decades ago.  Don’t worry, that only lasts a couple of minutes and then we get down to business and dig into what can be done when either during the disclosure process or after (when she is processing and asking questions) - what to do when he doesn’t remember certain details of his acting out.   Here are some of the things we cover: - When he doesn’t remember, it’s important for her to see that he is actually trying.  We give examples of what this can look like for him to TRY. - We talk about the strategy Jason teaches to his clients when they struggle to remember:  Context, Circumstance, Character. - We discuss the best way to navigate when he DOESN'T remember what he DID do but DOES remember what he DIDN’T do. - The importance of women having as much of a definitive answer to her questions as she possibly can - it will help her heal and the marriage heal. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!       Thrilled to announce that there is a Women’s Retreat coming up this Spring - you can find more information here. We have several new groups starting in February.  Click here for all the details. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here.  Would love for you to consider taking this with me, please add your name to the wait list so that you are the first to know when registration for the next round opens. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast. 

In this week’s episode, we talk about the heart behind Full Disclosure.  Specifically common misconceptions, who it benefits, what it’s for, etc.  We didn’t want to go into a ton of the logistics of the Full Disclosure process (although we might do this at some point in another episode) - instead, we really wanted to focus on the heart behind the Full Disclosure. Here are a couple of the things we discuss:  - The importance of integration - for him to integrate this part of his story into his life - he does this by writing it out and sharing it with others (another man, his wife if she wants to hear it, God). - The importance of her getting to know anything and everything she needs to know (it’s her decision) - and ultimately it being something that can restore dignity to her soul.   - The importance of getting all the lies and all the secrets out on the table - it’s not the full disclosure that ends the marriage, it’s the choices he made that might end the marriage.  It’s typically continued lies that puts the nail in the coffin, not coming to the confessional. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!       Here is a link to the book I read 18 years ago that was a complete game changer in many ways but was also the book that introduced us to the concept of a disclosure. “Thoughts become clear when they flow over the lips and through pencil tips” - we are still looking for who to credit this quote to! “Confession is the catalyst for change.” - I heard Kelly Minter say this recently in a podcast episode of hers and it really resonated with me. MasterClasses for men in January:  Empathy and Intimacy Aversion. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here, registration is currently open for the class starting on January 18th. (The class on January 13th is sold out.)  Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast. 

The hosts tackle questions about enjoying TV as a couple and dealing with husbands staring at other women. They discuss the impact of TV on relationships in recovery, the importance of boundaries, and the benefits of limited TV exposure. They emphasize communication, raising awareness, and taking responsibility for one's actions. They also explore transitioning from seeing your partner as an enemy to adopting a humble posture and how humility and service can inspire selflessness in a relationship.

In this week’s episode, we address listener questions. Specifically, we address the possibility of enjoying a beach/pool day without it being triggering (which is the only listener question we got to because it was just too good!).  Early on, or even ten years into the process, this can be SO difficult. We discuss a few tips on how to approach a beach/pool day which include: seeing others (& ourselves) as humans, rather than objects; having meaningful conversations to create a plan beforehand, during the pool time as well as assessing the plan afterwards.   We hope this episode provides attainable tips and tangible hope in what your recovery can look like when it includes going to the pool and beach.  We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!      Handling Her Triggers MasterClass for Men can be found here. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here, registration is currently open for the class starting on January 18th.  (The class on January 13th is sold out.) Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast. 

Jason and Shelley Martinez discuss healing from Acting In and Gaslighting. They emphasize the importance of sanctification and character growth, practicing radical honesty, and setting limits and boundaries for a redeemed marriage.

The podcast discusses Acting In and Gaslighting, exploring how they relate to intimacy aversion and self-preservation. They differentiate between the motivations behind these behaviors and highlight the emotional damage they can cause. The hosts also touch on avoidance and stonewalling in relationships. Additionally, they delve into intimacy aversion versus intimacy anorexia, and how acting in relates to shame and self-preservation.

This podcast discusses what to do when your partner is dragging their feet in recovery, exploring different archetypes of husbands in recovery and suggesting ways to address the situation. It emphasizes the importance of having a conversation with your partner, detaching for clarity and progress, and focusing on personal growth and higher purpose in relationships.

In this episode, we talk about getting out of the mindset that recovery is all about stopping a bad behavior.  If the goal is to never act out again and nothing more - men are selling themselves short. Heart and character change associated with the process of not acting out is what is most important. Ultimately, the process is about becoming who God is calling you to be as a man.   Talking about threats or markers in recovery can help us to that end which we will introduce and explore in this episode.  We also discuss acting in (or intimacy aversion) and how that fits into the threats assessment (a deep dive into Acting In, aka  Intimacy Aversion is coming in two weeks, you won’t want to miss that episode! Thanks for joining us, we are grateful that YOU are here.  Download the Threats Assessment Worksheet + Video here. MasterClasses for men can be found here. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here.  Would love to connect with you on Instagram @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.