This podcast discusses what to do when your partner is dragging their feet in recovery, exploring different archetypes of husbands in recovery and suggesting ways to address the situation. It emphasizes the importance of having a conversation with your partner, detaching for clarity and progress, and focusing on personal growth and higher purpose in relationships.
There are three archetypes of husbands dragging their feet in recovery: resistant and defensive, inconsistent and struggling, and complacent.
Wives dealing with husbands dragging their feet should find support, set healthy boundaries, and practice detachment for their own well-being.
Deep dives
Three Archetypes of Husband's Reluctance in Recovery
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss three archetypes of husbands who are dragging their feet in recovery. The first archetype is the resistant and defensive husband, who shows no interest in recovery and may even be mean and disrespectful. The second archetype is the husband who makes some effort in recovery but stumbles frequently, showing inconsistency and struggling to fully commit. The third archetype is the complacent husband, who has made progress but has now become passive and lacks motivation to continue working on recovery. It is important for wives to recognize which archetype their husband falls into and engage in open conversations about it.
What Can Wives Do?
The podcast hosts provide three suggestions for wives dealing with husbands who are dragging their feet in recovery. The first suggestion is to find good support, either through support groups or close friends who understand the situation. Having a supportive network is crucial for wives to have a safe space to share their experiences and feelings. The second suggestion is to work on setting healthy boundaries, not to change the husband, but to protect the wife's own heart and gain clarity on the husband's level of commitment. The third suggestion is to practice detachment, which involves stepping back and focusing on one's own growth and well-being, gaining clarity on personal needs and evaluating if the current situation is acceptable or not.
Encouragements for Husbands and Wives
For husbands, it is emphasized that they need to reconnect with the vision of what God is calling them to be in their recovery journey. They should not rely on external motivations or their wife's response, but rather focus on their own growth and doing the next right thing. For wives, the encouragement is to hold on if their husband is making effort, even if there are setbacks and struggles along the way. They are advised to voice their needs and set boundaries, while also understanding that recovery is a slow process and not to give up hope. Building support and focusing on self-growth are highlighted as essential for wives in order to navigate the challenges of being married to a husband who is dragging his feet in recovery.
In this episode, we talk about what to do if he is dragging his feet in recovery.
There are, in general, three archetypes on the spectrum of a man that is dragging his feet in recovery. On one end is a man that is resistant, defensive and mean. On the other end of the spectrum is a man that is trying but there is also a lot of stumbling and fumbling. In the middle - would be the man that has done some good work but has now moved into complacency.
Being able to name where he is at can be helpful in figuring out how to get unstuck (for both of you). In addition, having a conversation about where he is at and where you think he is at would be beneficial.
We wrap up this episode with what you can do when he drags his feet in recovery and what he can do when he is dragging his feet.
Thanks for joining us, we are grateful that YOU are here.
Check out our other boundaries podcast episodes here, here and here.
Shelley mentions the Welcome Series which includes a sneak peak of the Boundaries Course - you can sign up for that here.
Shelley mentions the book - Changes that Heal - love this book for learning about boundaries.
Our podcast episode on detachment can be found here.
We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!