The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

In this quick episode, I share what has been going on with the podcast and why I haven't been uploading. The truth is, that I am taking a step back from the show. I explain why and what comes next. Part of the episode is me reading off a post that I wrote, which you can read below. ------ I think it’s time to let go of my podcast. Episode 1 of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast aired on 3/16/2016. Nearly 450 episodes later, I think it might be time to let it go. When I began the show, podcasting wasn’t cool. This was before Huberman Lab and Diary of a CEO. This is before every influencer had their own podcast. I certainly wasn’t one of the first podcasts, but I was in the cohort of podcasters that were influenced by Pat Flynn, Cliff Ravenscraft, and Daniel J. Lewis. Podcasts were the up and coming way to generate an audience and scale your craft. For me, this was a way to bring mental health content to the masses. In 2014, I released my first book, Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety. I wrote this during my pre-doctoral internship at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego. The book was written and published in a matter of a couple weeks, driven by my frustrations with the mental health field following my wife’s hospitalization (more about that in my TedX talk). Since the market was not yet saturated with potty-mouth self-help books, it was a hit and quickly became my primary source of income. With the popularity of the book came emails and direct messages asking me questions. As someone who was working toward becoming licensed as a psychologist, it was important that I didn’t give out direct advice to people in a private forum unless I had an established care relationship with the person. That’s when I realized I could make my childhood dreams of having a newspaper advice column come true by starting a podcast. Truthfully, this was not my first foray into podcasting. I tried to start a podcast about the 90s with my friends called The Good Old Days, but that failed to launch. Then I had a podcast that ran for a good while called The Voices Among Us, in which I interviewed unhoused people on the street about their lives. Those experiences meant that I had the tools and knowledge necessary to launch the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. And man, has it been great. I have had the opportunity to answer questions about anxiety, relationships, sexuality, school, neuroscience, medications, abusive families, PTSD, depression, bipolar, autism, mushrooms, ketamine, queerness, blackness, multiculturalism, gender identity and so much more. I’ve been able have great conversations with Seth Godin, Dr. Andrea Letamendi, Kati Morton, Gary Bishop, Dr. Anna Yusim, Tiffany Jenkins, Jenn Harris, Dr. Patrick McGrath, Tony Weaver Jr., Dr. Judy Ho, Dr. David Burns, and many others. And yet, as the years of the podcast march on, the interest is waning. I will always have pride for being something of an O.G. in the mental health podcasting space, but as my wife said recently, it’s important to make room for other voices and to not force something that isn’t working. I wouldn’t say the podcast isn’t working, but it certainly isn’t what it once was. At one point in time, I was getting enough listens to garner thousands per month in advertising revenue. These days, I’m lucky if an episode hits 5,000 listens in a month. To be clear, that is still a substantial amount, but for the hours that I put into the podcast, the decline in listenership over time becomes hard to justify at a certain point. Here’s a graph from my podcast hosting platform so you can see what I mean:  I worry a bit about coming off as ungrateful or just chasing numbers. Hopefully it’s clear that I am immensely proud of what I’ve been able to do with the podcast and so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have a platform like this. I have a folder in my email with feedback from people that I have answered questions for, and trust me when I say there is no better pick-me-up on a rainy day than reading through some of them. However, ultimately, I need to figure out the best path forward for myself, for my career, and for my family. Unfortunately, a lot of that comes down to income right now. I need to make more money. While I get many benefits from continuing the podcast, it is no longer lucrative, and it takes up a great deal of time and mental space to maintain. As someone who always has my hands in many pies, I need to take a step back every so often to re-evaluate my priorities. To weigh the pros and cons of each facet of my career and life and determine where I should be increasing or decreasing my focus. Between my clinical work as a neuropsychologist and therapist, podcasting, writing books, giving professional talks, and being a presence for my family and loved ones, there isn’t an obvious answer. But there is one that I am begrudgingly starting to admit to myself. I haven’t even made an actual change yet, and I am already starting the grieving process. This project has been so incredibly important to me and central to my life. It’s like letting go of a child. In fact, as I’m writing this, my 10-year-old just came in and told me that he doesn’t want me to quit. Sigh… these choices are never easy. I should know – once upon a time, I wasn’t known as Duff The Psych, I was known as the ASMRtist, Justawhisperingguy. And just like there are some OGs out there who have stuck around since my first ASMR videos, there will be OGs who are still with me a decade from now that started following me from my first podcast episodes. So, all of this begs the question: What now? I don’t think I am going to be cutting off the podcast cold turkey. For one, I don’t have any interest in getting rid of the entire back catalogue, so I’m not going to suddenly stop paying for my podcast host. I also may occasionally come back to post something on the podcast feed if I record an interview or have the bug to make some content. My Youtube channel will continue to be the primary platform where I release longform content. But it’s time to take a big step back. It’s time to find another avenue to continue building and engaging with my audience. It’s time to put some effort into marketing my next book. It’s time to stop stressing out because the kids are taking a long time to go to sleep or are being too loud so I can’t record. It's time to take a deep breath and step off into the next stage of my life and career. Whatever the hell that may turn out to be.   Love, Robert

In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia’s multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn’t accessible The definition and practice of embodied code switching How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience Marcia’s new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing 04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity 09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience 14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to “not belong” in any cultural space 17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not) 20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy? 24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them 28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins 35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system 40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences 43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy 47:00 – Marcia’s career in advocacy and transition to therapy 52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world 58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now 1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power Guest Links: Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376 Contact Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia’s story resonated with you, I’d love to hear how this conversation landed.

This discussion dives deep into the complexities of publishing a memoir rooted in childhood trauma, weighing empowerment against the scars of the past. Listeners hear about the lasting effects of extensive abuse and the journey toward reclaiming one's narrative. The dialogue also touches on the emotional hurdles faced by a newly single parent grappling with loneliness post-divorce. Discover how small steps can foster hope and connection within this transition, highlighting the importance of boundaries, community support, and embracing unexpected paths to happiness.

In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope. Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited. Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles. Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala. Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate. Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases. Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen. Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups. Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life. Question 2: Healing from Infidelity Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity. The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response. Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust. Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments. Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma. Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support. It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways Resources & Links Website: http://duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If today’s episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here. Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon! [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations. [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I. [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode. [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder. [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases. Key Takeaways: Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice. Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown. Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference. The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them. Connect with Dr. Robert Duff: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

Dive into the complexities of PTSD and trauma responses. Explore how living environments can trigger overwhelming emotions and the struggle to break free from those triggers. Gain practical strategies for managing emotional reactions in public and reducing feelings of embarrassment. Learn about the value of trauma-informed therapy, journaling for self-reflection, and using gratitude to foster connections. This conversation offers compassionate insights to help navigate the rocky path of healing and self-acceptance.

Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and boundary expert, shares her journey from talent agent to therapist, motivated by her own struggles with codependency. She defines high-functioning codependency and discusses its roots in childhood and societal expectations. Terri offers practical tools for recognizing and breaking free from these patterns, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and self-awareness. The conversation also addresses the complexities of family dynamics amidst political discord, providing strategies for maintaining harmony.

Explore the complexities of Pathological Demand Avoidance and its impact on coaching neurodivergent individuals. Discover practical strategies for fostering autonomy and collaboration in challenging situations. Shift focus to Persistent Low-Grade Depression, where insights on behavioral activation shine as an effective treatment approach. Delve into innovative therapies for treatment-resistant cases, while underscoring the importance of hope and identity in one’s journey towards mental wellness.

Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, known as Dr. Mala, is the Chief Clinical Officer at recovery.com, where she fuses Western psychology with Eastern philosophies in addiction recovery. She shares her personal journey into this field and emphasizes the importance of holistic, individualized treatment. Dr. Mala discusses the non-linear nature of recovery and the role of trauma in shaping her approach. She advocates for breaking stigma surrounding addiction and highlights innovative treatments like virtual therapy, yoga, and adventure therapy.