In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope. Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited. Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles. Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala. Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate. Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases. Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen. Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups. Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life. Question 2: Healing from Infidelity Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity. The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response. Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust. Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments. Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma. Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support. It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways Resources & Links Website: http://duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If today’s episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here. Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon! [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations. [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I. [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode. [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder. [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases. Key Takeaways: Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice. Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown. Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference. The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them. Connect with Dr. Robert Duff: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

Dive into the complexities of PTSD and trauma responses. Explore how living environments can trigger overwhelming emotions and the struggle to break free from those triggers. Gain practical strategies for managing emotional reactions in public and reducing feelings of embarrassment. Learn about the value of trauma-informed therapy, journaling for self-reflection, and using gratitude to foster connections. This conversation offers compassionate insights to help navigate the rocky path of healing and self-acceptance.

Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and boundary expert, shares her journey from talent agent to therapist, motivated by her own struggles with codependency. She defines high-functioning codependency and discusses its roots in childhood and societal expectations. Terri offers practical tools for recognizing and breaking free from these patterns, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and self-awareness. The conversation also addresses the complexities of family dynamics amidst political discord, providing strategies for maintaining harmony.

Explore the complexities of Pathological Demand Avoidance and its impact on coaching neurodivergent individuals. Discover practical strategies for fostering autonomy and collaboration in challenging situations. Shift focus to Persistent Low-Grade Depression, where insights on behavioral activation shine as an effective treatment approach. Delve into innovative therapies for treatment-resistant cases, while underscoring the importance of hope and identity in one’s journey towards mental wellness.

Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, known as Dr. Mala, is the Chief Clinical Officer at recovery.com, where she fuses Western psychology with Eastern philosophies in addiction recovery. She shares her personal journey into this field and emphasizes the importance of holistic, individualized treatment. Dr. Mala discusses the non-linear nature of recovery and the role of trauma in shaping her approach. She advocates for breaking stigma surrounding addiction and highlights innovative treatments like virtual therapy, yoga, and adventure therapy.

This episode tackles the serious impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation on a trans man’s mental health. The discussion covers coping strategies for doomscrolling and the importance of finding supportive communities. It also dives deep into the heartbreak of losing a best friend due to unrequited love, providing insights on handling grief and regret. Practical tips for self-care and rebuilding one's life amidst emotional turmoil are highlighted, offering listeners validation and support through personal challenges.

Dr. Blaise Aguirre, a world-renowned psychiatrist and DBT expert, dives deep into the complexities of self-hatred. He discusses how self-hatred often stems from early life experiences and differs from self-criticism. Dr. Aguirre shares practical tools for healing, emphasizing the importance of recognizing toxic relationships and identifying the roots of these damaging beliefs. With insights from his upcoming book, he highlights the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy and the critical role of compassionate treatment for those struggling with self-loathing.

Join an immersive journey through a guided meditation that encourages letting go of mental burdens. Experience vivid visualizations aboard a futuristic spacecraft, navigating the calmness of the cosmos. Engage in intentional breathing exercises to release tension and find clarity. The session is designed for anyone seeking mental reset, whether a meditation novice or a pro. This tangible exploration of your inner space fosters healing and reconnection, perfect for overcoming January stressors.