435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes

In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships.

The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment.

The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support.

Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope.

Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines

• Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited.

• Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles.

• Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala.

• Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate.

• Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases.

• Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen.

• Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups.

• Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life.

Question 2: Healing from Infidelity

• Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity.

• The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response.

• Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust.

• Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments.

• Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma.

• Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support.

• It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides.

00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways

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Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.