TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

A couple weeks ago, my guest Dr. Corey Allen dropped 2 mind-shifting, bombs on the podcast and I was worried that maybe you were in anxiety mode with a swirl of thoughts running through your mind as you were listening and might have missed them.  So, I decided to do a whole episode on the 2 nuggets so this time, you really need to concentrate and let it sink in.Here's a run down of the highlights in this episode:self-validation and looking at your jealous moments as opportunities to show up as your best self, in the absence of any other validation. getting yourself from one state of mind to another, feeling your worth and telling yourself its understandable why you might be jealous and doing it all by yourself, without the help or assurance from your partner.the significance of accepting your own internal experiences and managing your emotions constructivelythe tight grip you have on your partner.  You may think the two of you are too far apart but nope, it's quite possible you are too close together.  an invitation to the new membership called Self Improvement Society or SIS for short.00:00  Unlocking the Power of Self-Validation02:05  The Journey to Self-Validation: Embracing Your Emotions07:34  Navigating Jealousy and Insecurity: A Path to Self-Improvement14:44  The Surprising Truth About Relationship Dynamics20:55  Introducing the Self-Improvement Society: A New Way to Grow28:07 Invitation to Join SISSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

I have a major crush on what today's guest is doing.  She is working on a treatment module for trust.  Thank goodness for people like clinical psychologist. Shannon Sauer-Zavala.  She talks about understanding the function of behavior and that there's a reason you're thinking the way you do.Because people think about trust in a black and white way, she shares a trust exercise called Dimensions of Trust where you look at the facts of the people you're in a relationship with now because we're operating from things in the past.One of my favorite parts in the episode is when Dr. Sauer-Zavala explains that you have to  give people the opportunity to show you that they're not your mom, not your ex, not your alcoholic father because as long as you don't, that old narrative sticks because that's still the only evidence you have.This whole episode is an outline of the approach to building trust, which focuses on understanding the function of protective behaviors, cognitive reframing, and behavior change through exposure, and mindfulness. 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome01:37 Choosing the Topic of Trust02:01 Understanding Trust in Relationships03:31 The Role of Behavior in Trust04:12 Understanding the Function of Behavior04:56 The Impact of Past Experiences on Trust07:20 The Role of Self-Validation in Trust07:48 The Importance of Testing Trust09:37 Understanding the Nuances of Trust22:05 The Role of Mindfulness in Trust24:32 Conclusion and Contact InformationSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

As most of us Jealousy Junkies are clinging on to our partners.   Marriage and Sex Therapist Dr. Corey Allen says... a couple's problems could be a result of them being too close.  Not leaving room for individuality.  I thought this was a really important message I wanted you to hear because it isn't smothering in the way we make it out to be... it means there is too tight of a grip for growth and change and THAT is what lands you on Corey's couch and gives him and his wife material for their amazing podcast Sexy Marriage Radio.In this episode of Top Self,  Corey talks about the natural progression of a relationship from passionate beginnings to confronting everyday realities.  Which by the way this usually about the time we freak out because the hot and heavy is slowing down and of course we make it us.  But Dr. Allen says we have to understand the role of assurance in the relationship and he breaks it down in a way I hadn't thought about before through self-validation.  I know that's going to be a huge aha moment for you when you hear it.And the conversation gets a little spicy when I ask him some questions about sex like which gender is usually the microwave and which is most likely to be the oven when it comes to sex drives and he shares what he and his wife say to each other if the other turns them down that might just change their mind so there's a little heat at then end, so you may have to sit in the parking lot at work to make sure you hear the whole episode. 00:00 Introduction and Guest Background02:53 Understanding the Evolution of Relationships03:38 The Science Behind Falling in Love04:48 The Transition from Infatuation to Reality06:59 The Role of Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships09:05 The Role of Assurance in Relationships10:09 The Impact of Change and Growth in Relationships10:57 The Importance of Self-Development in Relationships11:28 Addressing Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships14:28 The Importance of Self-Validation in Relationships18:43 Understanding the Dynamics of Relationships20:20 Dealing with Betrayal in Relationships20:20 Embracing Emotions and Healing20:20 Understanding Trauma and Its Impact20:20 The Cycle of Healing and Growth20:20 The Role of Sex in Relationships24:45 Navigating Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships28:55 The Power of Self-Confidence in Sexuality32:46 Final Thoughts and ResourcesConnect with Corey on his website Sexy Marriage Radio FMSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

It's so good to be back in the swing of things and to do a solo episode with you.  The exercise I share with you in today's episode is one I did as I was starting to notice improvements in myself with my jealousy and I wanted to share it with you.  You have to DO the work not just hear about it so make sure to go the show notes or to topself.com/evaluation and download the worksheet to use.  You can save a blank one as a template and then just copy a new one for each time you have a jealous moment or meltdown and you want to make improvements.  Send me an email and let me know your WINs, your WTFs, and your FIXs (you'll get the reference once you see the worksheet.00:00 Introduction and Personal Covid Experience00:42 Traveling and Covid Complications02:01 Returning Home and Dealing with Aftermath04:25 Introducing the Situation Evaluation Exercise06:09 Understanding the Importance of Taking Action06:56 How to Use the Situation Evaluation Worksheet09:39 Breaking Down the Situation Evaluation Worksheet17:18 The Importance of Recognizing Wins and Flops19:39 Implementing Changes for Future Growth20:34 Conclusion and Encouragement to Use the Worksheet  Snag the Situation Evaluation Worksheet here.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever wanted to get inside the mind of a couples therapist and ask questions?  Well, in today's episode, I took full advantage of having the great couples therapist, Dr. Bruce Chalmer on and I asked some burning questions for you like:How to get your partner to go to therapy when they don't want toWhat's the first thing you would do if you were working with a couple with jealousy in the relationshipWhy couples get it wrong when they say their biggest issue is communication Bruce shares the idea that couples often choose stability over intimacy and this is what he calls the "death spiral" of passion in a relationship.  I loved this topic as it just brings to light how often we push away our true authentic self because we are too afraid of what someone else, in this case our partner, might think.He also compares couples therapy to improv so you'll have to tune in to hear why. 00:02 Introduction and Guest Presentation00:42 Overcoming Reluctance to Attend Couples Therapy04:03 Choosing the Right Therapist: A Discussion05:43 Communication vs. Content: A New Perspective07:51 Understanding Jealousy in Relationships10:17 The Role of Attraction in Relationships17:00 The Death Spiral for Passion: Stability vs. Intimacy20:50 Restoring Intimacy in Relationships20:54 Dealing with Jealousy and Insecurity21:36 Seeking Reassurance and Self-Validation22:43 Understanding the Value of Your Partner24:41 The Role of Fathers in a Daughter's Life25:40 Couples Therapy and Improv Comedy31:14 Navigating Arguments in Relationships32:06 The Magic Key to Relationship Problems34:20 Closing Remarks and Contact InformationConnect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Today I interview bestselling author, psychologist and happiness coach, Dr. Jisunny Fisher about how to face the fear of the unknown and unpredictable. Dr. Fisher talks about the human inclination towards avoiding pain over pursuing pleasure and the neural evolution of the human brain into three parts - reptilian, mammalian and human - and how specific fears are associated with each part.She walks you through the concept of identity, explaining the 'identity funnel' and  how to rewire your self-beliefs through mindful awareness which has 3 parts;  attention, attitude and aim. I think you're going to love this episode.  I know I gained a lot from this interview.00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation00:26 Overcoming Fear of the Unknown01:36 Understanding the Human Brain and Fear02:25 The Role of Control in Fear02:52 The Concept of Three Brains02:56 Dealing with Jealousy and Uncertainty04:53 Understanding the Fear of Abandonment07:17 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships10:08 The Importance of Self-Identity11:37 The Identity Funnel: Understanding Self15:48 The Role of Beliefs in Shaping Identity26:56 The Power of Mindful Awareness30:03 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsGrab Jisunny's award winning book The Bodhi Blueprint:  Master Your Fears and Live a Life On Purpose.  Now available on AmazonSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Did you know, a women's body follows infradian rhythm?  Well, better late than never on me getting this episode out but this is the final episode to wrap up the physical health month that was supposed to go out in January BUT... Jenny Swisher is a personal trainer, nutrition specialist, and health practitioner, and we have a great discussion about women's hormones, cycle syncing, and physical health. I learned so much from this episode and I think it's something all women should hear and be aware of.  As Jealousy Junkies, we have enough gilt and shame to deal with and taking time to rest during your cycle is not something else to add to the mix of guilty feelings.As women, we often hear comments like "you're all over the place" or "your so emotional" and that causes us to feel like there is something wrong with us but as my guest, Jenny Swisher explains in this episode, our hormones are fluctuating throughout the month.The other super cool thing she explains is how syncing your cycle allows you to know when to plan those date nights, what days to pull back on your workout and what days you can show up like a beast.00:00 Introduction and Personal COVID-19 Experience03:03 Jenny's Personal Journey to Hormone Health06:40 The Importance of Being Your Own Best Doctor09:20 The Birth of SYNC: A Course for Women's Health11:50 The Importance of Understanding Your Menstrual Cycle14:27 The Need for Early Age Education on Women's Health14:52 The Role of Ovulation in Women's Health19:43 Understanding Your Body's Needs19:59 Overview of the Menstrual Cycle20:26 The Importance of Rest20:49 The Role of Estrogen21:38 Strength Training and the Menstrual Cycle22:09 Understanding the Ovulatory Phase24:25 The Impact of Overtraining26:40 The Role of Progesterone27:44 Cycle Syncing and Nutrition32:47 Understanding the Infradian Rhythm35:01 The Impact of Menopause on Hormones38:04 Closing Remarks and Contact InformationSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In today's episode I share a recent personal journey that intertwines physical health and emotional wellbeing, using my own 10-day detox diet as a parallel to overcoming jealousy. Its all about the power of choice.  From the challenges of an incredible detox program to the challenges typically faced when overcoming jealousy. I share my experiences and introduce the concept of the 'jealousy reassurance loop' - a cycle, comparable to sugar addiction, that needs to be broken by making conscious choices. I'll share the transformative effects of my detox on my physical wellbeing and how it mirrors that process on an emotional level, to hopefully change your narrative and choose better outcomes in your jealousy struggles.00:57 Introduction to the Podcast01:32 My Health Journey and Its Connection to Jealousy01:40 The 10 Day Detox Experience04:17 The Impact of the Detox on My Health18:46 The Power of Choice in Health and Jealousy20:17 Testimonials from Group Coaching Sessions21:18 The Jealousy Reassurance Loop and Sugar Cravings23:47 The Power of Choice in Overcoming Jealousy27:06 Conclusion and Invitation to the Trust Building BootcampIf you're interested in the detox diet I talk about in the episode, here is the link to the book that I followed:  The 10-Day Detox DietSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

He's a social media phenomenon and and author of the book "Blood Sugar Doesn't Lie", Dr. Ben Galyardt is my guest today.  We share the same philosophy of... treat the root cause, not the symptom.  You wont believe how much food is tied to not just your mood but perhaps some other things going on that have been bothering you.  And, did you know, constant spikes in your blood sugar level can make you gain weight.  I know weight gain might further you're negative thinking about yourself so throw those ear buds on and get ready because this isn't your usual health talk.We're revealing how this groundbreaking approach is reshaping the landscape of patient carediscover how functional medicine isn't just another treatment option challenges you might face in conventional medicine strategies to advocate for a more profound, investigative approach in your medical journeythe intricate dance of blood sugar levels and their far-reaching impact on our healthhow this technology has turned lives around by using a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM)how this tool could be the key to slashing healthcare costs and elevating health consciousness across the nation. 00:00 Introduction and Importance of Health00:28 Guest Introduction: Dr. Ben Galyardt00:48 Understanding Functional Medicine00:55 The Philosophy of Functional Medicine02:08 The Importance of Root Cause Analysis in Health02:58 The Role of Doctors and Patients in Health Management04:02 Challenges in Traditional Medical Model13:21 The Importance of Blood Sugar Stability14:53 The Use of Continuous Glucose Monitors17:20 Discovering Hypoglycemia17:20 The Power of Continuous Glucose Monitoring19:44 Understanding the Impact of Blood Sugar Levels21:53 The Individual Impact of Different Foods23:27 The Struggle with Sugar Addiction30:10 The Controversy Around Continuous Glucose Monitors34:17 The Importance of Basic Health Practices36:54 Connecting with F8 Wellness CenterGrab Dr. Ben's book Blood Sugar Doesn't LieSign up with Dr. Ben with this New Patient SpecialSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Did you know your food can affect your mood?  I thought I was just in a bad mood.  Turns out, it could be the food I ate.  :)Go beyond your typical New Year's resolutions and redefine your relationship with food, your body, and your well-being.   Our special guest, Tina Hong, an accomplished Executive Health and Wellness Coach and NLP mindset practitioner, shares the path for women seeking not just change—but renewal—in their personal and professional lives. We have a great chat about food and mindset to kick off the new year because no matter what your goals are, without your health, you have nothing.  Here are some things we talked about but there was SO much more.understanding the pivotal role of stress and hormones in weight management. Our conversation promises a shift in perspective, revealing how mindful practices can help combat stress-induced eating and how a deeper connection with your body can lead to lasting health.the emotional dimensions of eating the necessity of making thoughtful dietary choices for a nourished lifeThis was a jammed packed episode and I am all in on changing my eating habits and monitoring my blood sugar level so here are some other things Tina shared in the episode: how stress, anxiety and hormones can impact weight and overall healththe benefits of nourishing, nutrient-dense foods and how it can repair the body naturallyeffects of quick-fix solutions such as synthetic peptides Ozempic and Wegovycritical importance of monitoring blood sugar levels for everyone, not just those with diabetesStay tuned because the whole month of January is all about health, and I'm going to be vlogging my new lifestyle changes and wearing a continuous glucose monitor!00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction00:00 Importance of Physical Health and Mindset00:58 New Year Resolutions and Health Goals02:14 Guest Introduction: Tina Hong03:06 Discussion on Midlife Changes and Health03:41 Understanding Client Needs and Challenges08:39 The Role of Nutrition and Mindfulness in Health11:34 Impact of Stress and Anxiety on Health14:11 Understanding the Connection between Anxiety and Physical Health18:28 The Power of Mindset in Weight Loss18:39 The Importance of Mindset in Health and Fitness19:56 The Role of Nutrition in Hormonal Balancing and Weight Loss20:18 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Believing in the Possibility of Change21:15 The Misconception about Cardio and Weight Loss23:08 The Impact of Diet on Blood Sugar Levels23:33 The Pros and Cons of Using Medical Devices for Health Monitoring30:36 The Connection between Food, Mood, and Anxiety32:10 The Dangers of Quick Fixes and Weight Loss Drugs37:52 How to Reach Out for Professional Help38:47 Final Words of EncouragementConnect with Tina on IG @coachtinahongSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.