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TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

Latest episodes

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Sep 19, 2023 • 21min

What's Good for the Jealous Goose Should be Good for the Gander Too EP 45

Ever wondered why you don't trust your partner as much as yourself? Curious about the double standards you set in your relationship, often without realizing it? Tune in for an eye-opening discussion about trust dynamics in relationships. My deep dive is set to reshape your understanding of trust, insecurity, and jealousy. Why we give ourselves more liberty than we do our partners?I discuss the projection of our needs onto our partners and how this triggers an insatiable need for reassurance. Are you setting different expectations for yourself and your partner due to your insecurities? I explore this concept in depth, providing insights that might just save your relationship.  Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Sep 12, 2023 • 30min

How to Self Comfort Using Your Inner Masculine Energy w/ Amy Lee Westervelt EP 44

Are you ready to reignite the tingly energy of your inner masculine lover? That's precisely what this episode is all about, with our guest, Amy Lee Westervelt. Together, we address the habit of seeking external validation instead of harnessing internal energy and how to navigate the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that can arise in relationships.We also venture into the empowering realm of changing our inner voice. Get ready to tap into your inner masculine and create a protective and devoted voice within. In this episode, we also discuss:the concept of self-sourcing, teaching you how to appreciate and receive compliments from your partner without relying on them for validation. how our expectations from our partners can set us up for failure and strategize ways to manage these situations better.handling situations when your partner doesn't meet your expectationsthe sometimes tumultuous seas of gender roles and communicationOur conversation will leave you brimming with tips on how to embark on this transformative journey to connect with your higher self.  So, buckle up for an enlightening ride on inner growth and self-empowerment.Connect with Amy Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Aug 29, 2023 • 36min

Building True Confidence w/ Dr. Tony Dufresne EP 43

Today, we're thrilled to bring you Tony Dufresne, PhD, a voice of wisdom in the arena of women's empowerment and confidence. With his unique perspective as a father and a male coach in the world of women, Tony guides us through the systemic differences between the genders and sheds light on the expectations society places on them. His understanding of the female experience, through empathy and intuition, is truly insightful.In this discussion, Tony introduces three powerful tools: meditation, journaling, and physical pattern interrupt. As we explore the difference between small C and big C confidence, you'll learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, and start reframing your thought process.He believes in building a supportive network that nurtures growth and confidence and to shed off guilt, embrace your intuition, and step into your power. Listen in, as you won't want to miss Tony’s wisdom and insights on women's empowerment. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Aug 22, 2023 • 20min

Being Self-Centered Can Help With Your Jealousy EP 42

If you're someone who's insecure, you may be self-centered in a way you haven't thought of before.  You may think everything is about you.  All the problems, anything that goes wrong, if someone is upset.In this episode, I challenge you to start being self-centered in a different way.  in a way that better serves you and even your relationship.  This month's episodes have been about being in the present and this one is no exception as today is a great day to turn your focus away from your partner, away from all the anxiety and worrying and start doing something for you.What's that thing you've always wanted to do but never had the courage to try or didnt know where to begin?  What's that thing you know you can do but because of your jealousy, you don't feel like you've been able to focus on it?Well... its time to get self-centered and start today!  If you're sitting on a dream, this is your wake-up call. Time to bring your vision to life! Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Aug 8, 2023 • 22min

How to Stop Wondering About the Past and Worrying About the Future EP 41

As someone who has personally experienced the crippling effects of anxiety and insecurities, I'm sharing the importance of being present and in the N.O.W. and how to avoid being caught up with past wondering or worrying about the future. It's crucial to remember that you have the power to break free from fear-driven patterns. I am excited to discuss my journey of self-awareness that led me to stop letting the past hijack my present and the changes I initiated that altered my future. In this episode I discuss:the magic of being present and grounded in the momentintroduce three acronyms to help one of which is: NOW: Notice, Observe, and Words of Gratitudeexplore the importance of adding mindfulness and being present into your self-regulation recipe.You're not alone on this journey to overcoming insecurities and anxiety and I hope these quick techniques will benefit you too. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Jul 25, 2023 • 32min

Controlling and Judging Without Mercy EP 40

It's time to stop judging without mercy and stop trying to control unpredictable events.Reflecting on the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACA) list was a turning point, a moment that brought me a lot of clarity and started me on my self-development journey.Drawing from my personal experiences, I'm sharing one of the 14 common behavior characteristics from the ACA Laundry List and the recent epiphany I had that is tied to it for anyone who grew up in a similar dysfunctional environment as I did.This episode discusses our attempts to predict and control events, especially in relation to our partners, which often leads to mistrust. As we delve into this aspect, we shed light on the pitfalls of control and the power of trust, exploring how we can transform our judgments into unconditional love and trust, even in unpredictable situations. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Jul 18, 2023 • 13min

Why You Stir Sh*t Up In Your Relationship EP 39

Do you know you might even be controlling when you argue with your partner?  I know it may seem hard to believe because your first thought is probably... I hate arguing with my partner.I hate to say it, but as much as you hate it, you may be the huffing and puffing and blowing the house up just as things are going really well.If you grew up in a dysfunctional environment like I did, where every day there was drama, fighting or wondering when the next big thing is going to happen, you might be pulling this into your adult relationship.On this week's episode, I share 3 reasons you might be doing this.   Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Jul 11, 2023 • 54min

Why You Feel So Out of Control w/ Dr. Catherine Pittman EP 38

You know when you feel like you can't control your actions?  Your in a massive jealous rant and it seems like some one or some thing has taken over your body.  You're saying things and doing things on autopilot as if you cant help what's happening.Shanenn sits down with Dr. Catherine Pittman, author of Rewire Your Anxious Brain, Taming Your Amygdala, and Rewire Your OCD Brain  to uncover why this happening and you might be right, you don't have control over it.But, the great news is, she gives you some insight into what's going on, gives a great explanation of why you need to be aware of it, AND.... answers the burning question of what you can do about it in the future.Highlights from this episode:The amygdala is a part of your brain responsible for putting into action the fight, flight or freeze response.The amygdala gets activated as it associates the present with things that look "similar" to negative things in your past as a way to protect youThe amygdala's partner in crime, the cortex is the part of your brain that sees things a little more clearly and is better suited to sort out the raw information coming from the amygdalaUnfortunately, both the amgydala and the cortex and give us wrong information at times.Your thoughts do matter and the amygdala is watching "cortex tv" as Dr. Pittman likes to call it so if you think it, you feel it.Grab Dr. Pittmans Fight, Freeze or Flee Survey here.Purchase any of Dr. Pittman's books below: *Product Disclaimer - This page contains affiliate links, meaning I get paid a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.Rewire Your Anxious BrainTaming Your AmygdalaRewire Your OCD Brain Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Jul 4, 2023 • 27min

Overcoming Jealousy with a New Prospective EP 37

Sometimes to get out of a rut, you have to shake things up a bit and changing your perspective on the way you think and communicate about your jealousy might be just what you need.In this episode, Shanenn discusses 3 different areas you could shake things up as it pertains to jealousy.Reframe your approach in both your communication to your partner and your thoughts about how big it is and acknowledge that jealousy may always be present in you to some degree, so you will start by just focusing on instances when it heavily impacts your relationship. Many people are embarrassed to even talk about their jealousy.  She encourages you to consider how you are talking about your jealousy to your friends and be intentional about what you want from your friend out of the conversation about your jealousy.  And if you really want to step outside the box and take the first step to open up, engage with others in the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group. Keep in mind jealousy is not all of you. It is just a small part of you and there is so many other positive things you bring to the relationship.  Shanenn encourages you to write those things down as a reminder to yourself that jealousy is not all of you.  It’s not who you are, it’s just something you need to manage.Ultimately, this episode aims to empower individuals to reframe their perspective on jealousy, understand their own worth beyond this emotion, and seek support and understanding from like-minded individuals in their journey toward overcoming jealousy. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.
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Jun 27, 2023 • 50min

Shedding the Shame and Embracing Powerful Emotions w/ Joli Hamilton EP 36

Dr. Joli Hamilton, a relationship coach and research psychologist, known for her expertise in the field of jealousy joins the show today.Her research explores the archetypal nature of emotions and their purpose, with a focus on jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.If you still feel embarrassed about your jealousy or continuously ask yourself "Is this normal or is this my jealousy?" then today's episode will mot likely hit the spot.Dr. Hamilton and Shanenn discuss:reframing your perspective on jealousy and recognizing its wisdom, to develop a healthier relationship with this emotion.discuss Dr. Hamilton's qualitative research that supports many participants reported feelings of shame and embarrassment related to their experiences of jealousy.the concept of the psychological shadow, where aspects we reject or suppress become a source of embarrassment.the importance of connecting with others who also experience jealousy, as it helps individuals feel understood and validated.Dr. Hamilton also shared something that blew my mind that I hadn't previously considered that non-monogamous individuals are more likely to anticipate and normalize jealousy as a potential outcome of multiple partners, fostering open conversations about it.She encourages individuals in monogamous relationships to reevaluate their perspectives on jealousy and recognize its presence as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.Get Dr. Hamilton's Free 5-Step Resource.  Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join other women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy Connect with ShanennTop Self WebsiteShanenn on InstagramDisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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