TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

This episode includes LIFE CHANGING information from Thais Gibson, that years from now, you're going to remember listening to it and know it was the pivotal moment that set you on a path of transformation.  As a leading figure in personal development, Thais is the co-founder of the Personal Development School and an expert in attachment theory. Wonder why no matter how much you tell yourself you're not going to be jealous anymore and then just a few days later you find yourself in a jealous meltdown and don't know why you can't shake it?  We talk about the reason for this and spoiler alert... your conscious mind can't outwill your subconscious mind. Here are just a few of the mind blowing topics we cover in this episode:subconscious reprogramming techniques how to meet your own needs effectively dealing with core wounds that trigger emotional suffering, like jealousyThais also breaks down the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, offering tips on how to identify and shift your attachment style for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. This life-changing episode promises to blow your mind and offer actionable steps to transform your inner world and outer connections.00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement02:31 Thais Gibson's Background and Journey02:44 Understanding Attachment Styles and Personal Development04:23 Thais's Personal Struggles and Healing Journey07:05 The Power of the Subconscious Mind13:03 Core Wounds and Emotional Feedback16:52 Jealousy, Envy, and Core Wounds33:31 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships36:26 Late-Night Texts and Dating Dilemmas37:03 Understanding and Addressing Unmet Needs39:32 The Magical Kitchen Analogy42:07 Steps to Meet Your Needs Independently45:01 Reprogramming Core Wounds50:40 Exploring Attachment Styles01:01:45 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsTake the Attachment Style QuizGet the book Mastery of Love by Don Miguel RuizSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

I absolutely can't stand it when I hear people say "you have to just get over it". Or especially things like.. you're crazy, or you're nuts when they are referring to you being jealous.  There is such a stigma around "being jealous" that people seem to just have no tolerance for.  Yes, I understand it is not healthy, yes I understand its not something to pass off as if its OK to be that way but it certainly doesnt make you crazy or nuts or broken.  EVERYONE has something they need to work on or something that is triggering for them or reminds them of something else.  That just means your brain is working the way it should.  Its doing it's brain thing... survival and efficiency.If you continue to feel bad about being jealous, you are going to keep focusing on the wrong thing and this will continue to be a heavy weight on your shoulders.  Stop focusing on the idea that it is embarrassing or that they are something fundamentally wrong with you.  There no need to put your enegy in that space.  The longer you run from it, the longer you try to deny or push down that you have this, the long you will be running from it.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.You've been told to "Think Positive" so many times in your life and this could be keeping you stuck.  According to my guest today, Dr. Eddie O'Connor, a clinical psychologist and host of 'The Psychology of Performance', shares his insights on the detrimental effects of positive thinking when misapplied.This very thing is the reason I was kicked out of therapy.  I kept trying to figure out how to fix the fact that I was angry at my father for being an alcoholic, that I was sad that I had been cheated on time and time again.  And, just as Dr. O'Connor explains in this episode, I didn't need to be fixed.  I wasn't broken and you're not broken either.  Join us in the great conversation as we talk about:overcoming anxiety, building self-worth, and achieving peak performancethe importance of addressing and understanding fear and anxietypractical strategies for managing performance anxietythe value of resilience and realistic thinking over forced positivityBring us along on your drive and learn that acknowleding and adapting to your fears can lead to a more confident and fulfilled life. 00:00  Welcome to Top Self: Overcoming Anxiety and Insecurity01:00  Introducing Eddie O'Connor: The Psychology of Performance01:38  Unpacking the Myth of Positive Thinking01:58  Eddie's Journey into Sports Psychology03:45  Strategies for Overcoming Performance Anxiety05:10  Applying Sports Psychology to Relationships07:56  The Reality of Anxiety and How to Navigate It15:05  Choosing How to Respond to Our Thoughts18:05  The Limitations of Positive Thinking22:02  Finding Purpose in Pain and Moving Forward25:41  Closing Thoughts and ResourcesSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Every time you catch yourself nagging from here on out, you're going to remember this episode.I have such a FIRE guest today.  Dr. Abby Medcalf, a relationship expert, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker and she delivers some hard core truths in her very no-nonsense kind of way and one of them is...Don't Have A Victim MentalityRemember your mom saying, you're driving me crazy, or your're going to give me grey hair.... maybe that was just in my house BUThearing statements like these growing up have us to believe that we're responsible for other peoples feelings or that other people can make you feel a certain way.The conversation really gets good when she shares that when we're not getting what we need, we focus on what we want and we NAG about what we want.  This blew my mind to think about it and is now stuck with me.Here are just a few other things that we talk about:overcoming the victim mindset in relationships, addressing jealousy, and the importance of taking responsibility for one's actionsthe power of meaningful communication with partners setting healthy boundaries and understanding one's needsAnd, if that wasn't enough, she shares how to handle situations like flirting and unmet expectations in relationships, making the episode a must-listen for those seeking to improve their emotional intimacy and connection with their partners.00:00 Welcome to Top Self Podcast: Meet Shannon Bryant and Dr. Abby Metcalf02:38 Unpacking Relationship Dynamics: Victim Mindset and Jealousy05:00 Navigating Insecurities and Setting Healthy Boundaries13:01 The Art of Communication: Asking the Right Questions18:10 Exploring Solutions Together: Collaborative Problem Solving25:40 Understanding the Subconscious: Aligning Thoughts and Actions28:32 Closing Thoughts and Invitation to Relationships Made Easy PodcastListen to Dr. Abby Medcalf's podcast "Relationships Made Easy"Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

The Trust Building Bootcamp is starting soon and if you haven't joined yet, you want to listen to this episode.I had in my head that if there had been something like this available for me when I was going through my jealousy and seeking resources, I would have jumped all over it.  And then... just as we learn to do with jealousy, I questioned that thought.  Would I have?  Would I have signed up immediately.  I don't know.I wanted to think through possible reasons I wouldnt have signed up right away because we are all SOOOOO good at staying stuck in the mind drama so, here are the 3 big reasons I came up with about with that might be holding you back up until now and I offer up another way to think about them.Cant wait to see you in the bootcamp.  This round starts May 29th, 2024.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Trigger Warning.... sorta.... Not only is she Oxford trained smart, she's beautiful as well.  The talented Katarina Polonska is my guest today and she's talking about the most important relationship of all.  The relationship you have with yourself. She shares:the importance of trusting oneself how to start building a healthy relationship with yourselfthe pivotal role of attachment theory in understanding personal relationshipsthe significance of recognizing and setting boundaries to create trust and safety within oneself. We also discuss how mindfulness and discernment can help distinguish between past projection and present moment realization, and the impact of establishing boundaries for a healthier life and relationships. Katarina emphasizes the value of seeking help through relationship coaching to navigate trust issues and improve one's relationship with self and others. 00:00  Introduction to the Guest and Topic: Trusting Yourself01:46  The Journey to Focusing on Relationships05:44  The Importance of Trust and Self-Relationship09:18  Navigating Boundaries in Relationships15:32  Communicating and Respecting Boundaries22:10  Identifying and Setting Healthy Boundaries26:27  The Value of Relationship Coaching and Self-Work29:50  Conclusion and How to ConnectConnect with Katarina hereSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In a world constantly bombarding us with images of youth and perfection, navigating getting older can sometimes feel quite frankly... sad.  Dr. Mary Alice Mina, a Harvard-trained dermatologist and I talk about the entire spectrum from changes in our bodies to shifts in our mindset, and how embracing all of it requires a balance of self-care and self-acceptance.She shares:her thoughts on cosmetic procedures vs. the fulfillment that comes from withinthe importance of prioritizing oneself covering the psychological impacts of aging, particularly on womenpractical skincare advice for various life stagesBUT... One of the most powerful parts of the discussion for me was when Dr. Mary Alice spoke about where you place value and the currency you hold on beauty.  Ah.. SO good.She also had to school me on what slugging was... I'm so not cool anymore.But dont worry, of course she gave us some amazing skin care tips for each phase of life 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond and some really cool emerging trends in dermatology that may be coming your way.  Unless of course you live in the midwest like me and in that case we probably wont see it for another 5 years or so.  Snag Dr. Mary Alice Mina's pdf on how to create healthy skin habits here.00:00  Welcome and Introduction to Today's Special Topic00:46  Introducing Dr. Mary Alice Mina: A Deep Dive into Skin Care02:10  The Realities of Aging and Skin Care: A Candid Conversation06:11  Navigating Midlife Changes: Insights and Empathy12:14  Practical Skin Care Tips Across Different Life Stages25:52  Embracing Aging: Mindset and Maintenance28:15  Exploring New Frontiers in Dermatology30:51  ClosingSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Sizzle, sizzle!  This is a hot topic and one I hear a lot of drama around and it makes perfect sense of why the ex or mother of your partner's child might be a area of insecurity for you.I tackle the sensitive topics of dealing with ex-partners and the dynamics they play in your relationshiptry to get you to reconsider how much information needs to be shared about past relationshipsshare an exercise to boost the validation your partner has already given you throughout the relationshipbut my ultimate message is one of confidence, self-value, and the unnecessary nature of obsessing over a partner's past for a healthy, present relationship. 00:00  Navigating Past Relationships: Exes and Baby Mamas00:27  Welcome to Top Self: Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity01:38  Dealing with Exes: Setting Boundaries and Overcoming Jealousy06:05  Navigating Relationships: Setting Expectations and Finding Security13:29  Self-Validation: An Exercise to Boost Your Self-Worth16:31  Conclusion: Embracing Confidence and Security in RelationshipsSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Do you remember the last time you got ready to go somewhere, an event, or to work or to church, or just to hang out with your friends and you felt really good about the way you looked.  Like you maybe even said to yourself, I feel good, I look good?  It's not about how you look but about how you FEEL and today's guest is an expert at making women feel good about themselves both inside and out.  She is the founder of CSJ, a leading styling company and she has such a gift for being able to impact self-esteem and confidence from the outside in, through styling.Yes Jessica Papineau shares some really great fashion and styling tips with us like how women can enhance their image by focusing on the 3 F's;  fit, fabric, and fashionthe right way to try on jeans and the reason it's important to steer clear of the cheap onestips for cleaning out your closetBut I think the real bomb shell is when she reveals the really interesting and really sad thing all women do when they look at themselves in the mirror and she really goes deep into the psychological aspects of dressing, like the role of self-reflection in personal styling,This episode is not only going to help you learn how dress like the person you want to become but also how to be happy with the person you already are.  00:00 Welcome to Top Self: A Unique Episode Awaits00:13 Introducing Jessica Papineau: Fashion as a Tool for Confidence00:35 The Power of Perception: Fashion, Confidence, and Self-Improvement09:33 Jessica's Journey: From Backwoods to Fashion Expert16:47 The Transformational Approach: Styling from the Inside Out24:46 The Three Fs of Fashion: Fit, Fabric, and Fashion36:46 Final Thoughts and How to Start Your Styling JourneyBook a FREE Styling Call with JessicaFREE Wardrobe Edit Blueprint available hereSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

I know you have a million thoughts going on in your head right now so before you click "play" on this episode really commit to listening to it with as little amount of distractions as possible because in this episode of the Top Self Podcast, I am talking with  wellness practitioner Heather Lillico about strategies for managing anxiety, particularly for overthinkers, perfectionists, and people pleasers. Sound like someone you know?  Here's a quick snapshot of just some of the things you might find interesting and sometimes you might feel like we're talking about you.  The biggest mistake when managing anxietythe challenges of perfectionism0 to 100 spiral and the deeper belief being activatedthe impact of limiting beliefs from childhoodthe link between how we're eating and how we're feelingwhat daily practice can improve your mental healthAlso, Heather shares some really easy foods to eat that actually help with anxiety.  We tend to overeat when we're upset and anxious anyway... why not eat stuff that's good for your anxiety right.  00:00  Introduction 00:47  Understanding Perfectionism and Anxiety01:37  The Role of Food and Exercise in Managing Anxiety01:37  Exploring Overthinking and its Roots01:43  The Impact of Limiting Beliefs on Anxiety02:23  The Connection Between Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment03:04  Reprogramming Limiting Beliefs04:09  The Role of the Subconscious Mind in Anxiety07:03  The Importance of Identity in Managing Anxiety09:38  The Impact of Food on Mood and Anxiety17:43  The Role of Exercise in Managing Anxiety21:25  The Power of Meditation in Reducing Anxiety27:19  Conclusion and Final ThoughtsTry Heather's Cultivating Calm App here Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.