TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

In this episode, master financial coaches, Shana and Vanessa, who co-host the Financial Coaching for Women podcast, which ranks in the top 1.5% worldwide and stays in the top 10 "How To" podcasts on Apple in the US AND they are on Top Self today to discuss how financial transparency and trust are crucial in relationships. Backed by five years of hands-on experience as financial coaches and training by Dave Ramsey, Shana and Vanessa, have guided thousands of people all over the world, crafted what feels like a million budgets, and honed their own unique systems. Their advice stands out because it's non-judgmental, straightforward, and breaks down complex financial concepts into simple, actionable steps.They offer practical tips for couples to manage their money together, touching on: the significance of budgeting, building honest communication, and avoiding financial secrecy  by setting up separate spending accounts while keeping joint finances transparent and honestending the paycheck to paycheck cycleautomating your budget, bill, savings and spending00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome01:35 How It All Began: The Story of Friendship and Business02:20 The Importance of Trust in Financial Relationships03:07 Common Financial Issues in Relationships04:10 Early Financial Conversations in Dating05:49 Impact of Upbringing on Financial Behavior08:11 Transparency and Trust in Marriage12:03 Building a Budget Together15:36 Joint vs. Separate Accounts in Marriage17:57 Creating a Joint Budget18:07 Balancing Different Financial Priorities18:46 Bonus Tip: Making Budget Meetings Fun21:13 Automating Your Finances21:40 Separating Accounts for Better Management25:27 Handling Different Income Levels28:43 Common Financial Mistakes29:26 Digital Envelope System31:21 Conclusion and ResourcesSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

If you are someone who is a recovering alcoholic or thinking about getting sober, you're in the right place my friend.  Addiction is tough and I have seen it throughout my family and others families and it can be so destructive.  Join myself and Rachel Harrison as she talks a bit about her recovery, how she is different today in many ways other than just being sober.  I hope this episode can be an inspiration for you as alcohol mixed with jealousy whether you have an addiction to it or not, can be a recipe for disaster.Connect with Rachel at www.recoveryoursoul.netSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Today is heavy and you may feel called out a bit and it just might feel uncomfortable.  Just like jealousy, this topic may feel shameful too but you are not alone in this either.  I'm talking about cheating and not your partner cheating... you cheating.  I'll cover possible reasons this might be something you do or have done in the past. Its a short one but I hear it enough and I know you are feeling guilty and ashamed so I thought we should talk about it.  It's also a great reason to sign up for the upcoming Bootcamp and you can register by clicking either of the provided links below based on what payment option works best for you.  The Trust Building Bootcamp starts on August 7th.  We meet every Wednesday at 7:00 pm Eastern Time for 6 weeks until September 11th.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

I am flying solo in today's episode and wanted to discuss just a few takeaways from my last guest Topaz Adizes and our conversation about the questions we ask and why we ask them.It's a quick dump episode but an important one when it comes to communicating with our partners and the reassurance questions we ask over and over again.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Topaz Adizes, an author and filmmaker with over a decade of experience in exploring human emotion, discusses how to ask better questions in relationships. He highlights the concept of 'The And,' promoting emotional connection over individual perspectives. Topaz shares the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue and offers strategies to reframe questions, making them more meaningful and curiosity-driven. Discover how regular check-ins can prevent conflicts and enhance intimacy, leading to deeper understanding and personal growth.

This episode includes LIFE CHANGING information from Thais Gibson, that years from now, you're going to remember listening to it and know it was the pivotal moment that set you on a path of transformation.  As a leading figure in personal development, Thais is the co-founder of the Personal Development School and an expert in attachment theory. Wonder why no matter how much you tell yourself you're not going to be jealous anymore and then just a few days later you find yourself in a jealous meltdown and don't know why you can't shake it?  We talk about the reason for this and spoiler alert... your conscious mind can't outwill your subconscious mind. Here are just a few of the mind blowing topics we cover in this episode:subconscious reprogramming techniques how to meet your own needs effectively dealing with core wounds that trigger emotional suffering, like jealousyThais also breaks down the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, offering tips on how to identify and shift your attachment style for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. This life-changing episode promises to blow your mind and offer actionable steps to transform your inner world and outer connections.00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement02:31 Thais Gibson's Background and Journey02:44 Understanding Attachment Styles and Personal Development04:23 Thais's Personal Struggles and Healing Journey07:05 The Power of the Subconscious Mind13:03 Core Wounds and Emotional Feedback16:52 Jealousy, Envy, and Core Wounds33:31 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships36:26 Late-Night Texts and Dating Dilemmas37:03 Understanding and Addressing Unmet Needs39:32 The Magical Kitchen Analogy42:07 Steps to Meet Your Needs Independently45:01 Reprogramming Core Wounds50:40 Exploring Attachment Styles01:01:45 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsTake the Attachment Style QuizGet the book Mastery of Love by Don Miguel RuizSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

I absolutely can't stand it when I hear people say "you have to just get over it". Or especially things like.. you're crazy, or you're nuts when they are referring to you being jealous.  There is such a stigma around "being jealous" that people seem to just have no tolerance for.  Yes, I understand it is not healthy, yes I understand its not something to pass off as if its OK to be that way but it certainly doesnt make you crazy or nuts or broken.  EVERYONE has something they need to work on or something that is triggering for them or reminds them of something else.  That just means your brain is working the way it should.  Its doing it's brain thing... survival and efficiency.If you continue to feel bad about being jealous, you are going to keep focusing on the wrong thing and this will continue to be a heavy weight on your shoulders.  Stop focusing on the idea that it is embarrassing or that they are something fundamentally wrong with you.  There no need to put your enegy in that space.  The longer you run from it, the longer you try to deny or push down that you have this, the long you will be running from it.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.You've been told to "Think Positive" so many times in your life and this could be keeping you stuck.  According to my guest today, Dr. Eddie O'Connor, a clinical psychologist and host of 'The Psychology of Performance', shares his insights on the detrimental effects of positive thinking when misapplied.This very thing is the reason I was kicked out of therapy.  I kept trying to figure out how to fix the fact that I was angry at my father for being an alcoholic, that I was sad that I had been cheated on time and time again.  And, just as Dr. O'Connor explains in this episode, I didn't need to be fixed.  I wasn't broken and you're not broken either.  Join us in the great conversation as we talk about:overcoming anxiety, building self-worth, and achieving peak performancethe importance of addressing and understanding fear and anxietypractical strategies for managing performance anxietythe value of resilience and realistic thinking over forced positivityBring us along on your drive and learn that acknowleding and adapting to your fears can lead to a more confident and fulfilled life. 00:00  Welcome to Top Self: Overcoming Anxiety and Insecurity01:00  Introducing Eddie O'Connor: The Psychology of Performance01:38  Unpacking the Myth of Positive Thinking01:58  Eddie's Journey into Sports Psychology03:45  Strategies for Overcoming Performance Anxiety05:10  Applying Sports Psychology to Relationships07:56  The Reality of Anxiety and How to Navigate It15:05  Choosing How to Respond to Our Thoughts18:05  The Limitations of Positive Thinking22:02  Finding Purpose in Pain and Moving Forward25:41  Closing Thoughts and ResourcesSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Every time you catch yourself nagging from here on out, you're going to remember this episode.I have such a FIRE guest today.  Dr. Abby Medcalf, a relationship expert, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker and she delivers some hard core truths in her very no-nonsense kind of way and one of them is...Don't Have A Victim MentalityRemember your mom saying, you're driving me crazy, or your're going to give me grey hair.... maybe that was just in my house BUThearing statements like these growing up have us to believe that we're responsible for other peoples feelings or that other people can make you feel a certain way.The conversation really gets good when she shares that when we're not getting what we need, we focus on what we want and we NAG about what we want.  This blew my mind to think about it and is now stuck with me.Here are just a few other things that we talk about:overcoming the victim mindset in relationships, addressing jealousy, and the importance of taking responsibility for one's actionsthe power of meaningful communication with partners setting healthy boundaries and understanding one's needsAnd, if that wasn't enough, she shares how to handle situations like flirting and unmet expectations in relationships, making the episode a must-listen for those seeking to improve their emotional intimacy and connection with their partners.00:00 Welcome to Top Self Podcast: Meet Shannon Bryant and Dr. Abby Metcalf02:38 Unpacking Relationship Dynamics: Victim Mindset and Jealousy05:00 Navigating Insecurities and Setting Healthy Boundaries13:01 The Art of Communication: Asking the Right Questions18:10 Exploring Solutions Together: Collaborative Problem Solving25:40 Understanding the Subconscious: Aligning Thoughts and Actions28:32 Closing Thoughts and Invitation to Relationships Made Easy PodcastListen to Dr. Abby Medcalf's podcast "Relationships Made Easy"Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

The Trust Building Bootcamp is starting soon and if you haven't joined yet, you want to listen to this episode.I had in my head that if there had been something like this available for me when I was going through my jealousy and seeking resources, I would have jumped all over it.  And then... just as we learn to do with jealousy, I questioned that thought.  Would I have?  Would I have signed up immediately.  I don't know.I wanted to think through possible reasons I wouldnt have signed up right away because we are all SOOOOO good at staying stuck in the mind drama so, here are the 3 big reasons I came up with about with that might be holding you back up until now and I offer up another way to think about them.Cant wait to see you in the bootcamp.  This round starts May 29th, 2024.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.