Top Self

Shanenn understands how deeply our patterns are embedded in every corner of our existence. It turns out that relationship anxiety isn't just an isolated phenomenon – it's part of a larger tapestry of how we navigate life's complexities.What We're Diving Into:The revelation that your inner critic has apparently developed a rather impressive portfolio, showing up everywhere in your life from dating, to work, to relationships... all of itWhat Top Self is currently offering so you can make this your year of change.The fascinating discovery that our defense mechanisms are surprisingly consistent performers across all life domainsNotable Moments:"Our programming isn't compartmentalized" – which explains why some people lead the way they do, why some people react the way they do, why some people take things so personally.  our patterns are everywhere and we are on autopilot unaware of most of them.  What's Available For You Now:Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp: Six weeks of methodical pattern disruption ($397)One-on-one coaching: For those ready to conduct a thorough investigation of their life patternsCIS Membership: A collective of women examining their shared experiences with refreshing candorEpisode Breakdown: 00:00 - Embracing 2025 01:00 - The Paradigm Shift 03:00 - Origins and Evolution 05:00 - Pattern Recognition 08:00 - Strategic Next Steps 12:00 - Closing ThoughtsRemember: You're part of a community navigating these waters together.For your next steps in pattern recognition and reformation, visit topself.com/bootcamp.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

What will you be thinking ONE YEAR from now?Will it be the same thoughts you're having today?  Will you're focus be on the same things?In this episode, we explore how your life could look totally different one year from now and why your thoughts might be your biggest obstacle to change. Shanenn gives an example of what she calls "heavy thinking" or better known as a thought spiral and suggests you could try to do the opposite.What?Shanenn shares:How your thoughts have likely been your biggest enemy this year and the physical impact of negative thought spirals on your body and emotions 🌀Why "heavy thinking" can be as intoxicating like heavy drinking, and how it leads to anxiety, upset stomach, and racing thoughts 😰The snowball effect of negative thoughts and how one small trigger (like a partner's schedule change) can lead to a full-blown emotional crisis 🔄The power of intentionally changing your "think of choice" and creating positive thought spirals for the new year 🌟Don't Miss Moments:"Repetition plus emotion programs life's commotion" - on how repeated thought patterns shape our reality"What if, in this new year, you intentionally change your think of choice?" - on taking control of your thought patternsAction Items from the Episode:Practice awareness of your thought patternsStart creating intentional positive thought spiralsEnvision how you want to feel and think in the next yearConsider joining the upcoming Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp in early FebruaryPractice positive overthinking, especially during morning anxietyYou would be amazed what a difference a year can make and you're worth putting in the time!00:00 Introduction and the Power of Belief in Change02:15 Understanding Heavy Thinking03:45 The Spiral of Negative Thoughts04:30 Physical and Emotional Impact of Thought Patterns05:20 Creating Positive Thought Spirals06:40 Envisioning Your Future SelfSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎁  Only a few days left to claim your "Pay-What-You-Can" Coaching Session with me.This episode talks about the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why one might be secretly sabotaging your relationship growth.Shanenn shares:• How guilt is like your relationship GPS - letting you know when you've made a wrong turn, while shame is more like a brick wall blocking all possible routes 🚧• Why treating yourself like your own mean girl isn't helping (and what Brené Brown has to say about it) 💭Don't Miss Moments:• "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change" - breaking down Brené Brown's powerful insight• "We're not going to take the steps to become self-aware if we believe we're fundamentally flawed" - on why shame keeps us stuckAction Items from the Episode:• Notice the difference between "I did something bad" vs. "I am bad"• Practice self-compassion by asking "What would I say to a friend?"• Start shortening your recovery time after jealous reactions• Break free from shame cycles with practical tools• Save your spot in the January "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp"⚡️ Special Holiday Offer: Book your pay-what-you-can coaching session (min. $25) through December 31st at www.topself.com - Limited spots remaining!00:00 Understanding Jealousy and Negative Emotions00:18 Holiday Season Special: 12 Hours of Giving01:58 Exciting Announcements for 202502:41 Introduction to Guilt and Shame03:46 The Difference Between Guilt and Shame04:33 The Impact of Guilt and Shame on Jealousy10:44 Strategies to Manage Guilt and Shame12:02 Upcoming Bootcamp and Final ThoughtsSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Do you enjoy how you're currently spending your time?  Do you feel like you use your time wisely?  When I am insecure and jealous, I don't!  When you're feeling jealous, most likely you are spending your very precious time thinking about your partner rather than spending it on things that bring you joy, not a stomach ache.In this episode, Shanenn and Dr. Adam Dorsay talk about the concept of connection in our modern world. Despite being more technologically connected than ever, many people struggle with loneliness and disconnection. Dr. Dorsay shares insights from his new book, Super Psyched about authentic connection and how to find it in various aspects of life.Key Topics Discussed:The paradox of being technologically connected yet feeling disconnectedThe four dimensions of connection: self, others, world, and something greaterHow social media comparison affects our relationships and self-imagePractical tips for maintaining long-distance friendshipsCreating novel experiences with your partner to strengthen connectionThe importance of investing time in activities that truly energize usNotable Quotes: "We're more connected technologically than ever before... And yet, we are less connected than ever before." - Dr. Adam DorsayResources Mentioned:Dr. Dorsay's Book Super PsychedSuper Psyched PodcastDr. Pat Love's "Hot Monogamy"Connect with Dr. Adam Dorsay:Website: www.dradamdorsay.comTEDx Talks: "Friendship in Adulthood" and "Men and Emotions"Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever felt like you're starring in your own personal soap opera where every relationship ends with infidelity? Host Shanenn Bryant unpacks her own journey from "everyone cheats on me" to "huh, maybe I should check my math" in this eye-opening episode.Key Takeaways:A shocking 50% of our memories aren't even accurate (Thanks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, for this incredibly eye-opening fact)Only 20-23% of men cheat in relationships (Sorry to ruin your trust issues with actual statistics)Married people cheat less than unmarried folks (Apparently, putting a ring on it does mean something to both men and women)The divorce rate isn't all about cheating (Turns out money problems are the real home-wrecker)Shanenn shares a mind-blowing exercise that will make you question EVERYTHING you thought you knew about your dating history. Spoiler alert: her "everyone cheats on me" narrative turned out to be more like "25% of people cheated on me." Talk about a plot twist!The Episode Breakdown:✓ The relationship audit: A step-by-step guide to analyzing your dating history (grab your pen and tissues)✓ The truth behind the numbers: Why your "everyone cheats" story might be as reliable as your ex's excusesCrucial Reality Checks:Your partner's cheating probably has more to do with their issues than your worthYoung relationships, unstable backgrounds, and core wounds all play a role in infidelityIf your "yes" list is above 50%, you might not have a cheating problem – you might have a "picking partners" problemWant to dive deeper? Shanenn mentions her "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp" coming up in January for those ready to break free from their trust issues and core wounds.Contact: sbryant@topself.com to share your own percentage or insights from this exercise.Remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your math is right. Time to crunch those numbers and maybe, just maybe, give trust a fighting chance.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Ever catch yourself saying "just so you know, I know what you COULD be doing" to your partner... even when you're pretty sure they're innocent? In this episode, Shanenn's calling you out when she gets into why we sometimes choose accusation over acceptance, even when our rational brain is screaming the obvious.THE HEART OF ITThe moment your logical brain offers the truth (and why we often ignore it)Why we feel the need to prove we're "not stupid" in relationshipsThe protective pattern of "just so you know I know" statementsHow choosing trust over proof can completely change your relationshipHave you ever noticed that quiet moment before you launch into relationship detective mode? That split second where your mind offers up a perfectly reasonable explanation, yet something pushes you to prove you're not easily fooled? Shanenn breaks down this fascinating pattern and reveals why our need to appear "aware" might actually be working against us.Through real-life examples, she shows us how these small moments of choice can shift our entire relationship dynamic. Learn why phrases like "just so you know, I know" might be hurting your relationship.  Other topics covered in this episode are:The split second when your rational brain offers the logical explanationWhy proving you're "aware" actually creates more anxietyThe freedom in choosing not to voice every suspicionHow tiny choices to trust can lead to massive relationship shiftsTRUTH BOMBS "Your life will be so much calmer, so much happier, and with less anxiety if you make the choice of saying, 'You know what, I'm going to go with this logical explanation.'"MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE[Coming Soon] "Triggered to Transformation" CourseEmail: sbryant@topself.com (Share your moments of choosing trust over suspicion!)YOUR NEXT STEPS (Choose Your Own Adventure)Notice when you're about to launch into "just so you know" modePause when your brain offers the logical explanationTry sitting with the peaceful explanation (just for 5 minutes!)Share your experience with Shanenn at sbryant@topself.comDid this episode hit home? Share it with someone who's ready to choose peace over proof.Remember: Choosing not to say "just so you know" doesn't make you naive - it makes you brave.00:00 Introduction to Top Self Podcast00:49 A Teenage Adventure: Sneaking Out04:41 The Consequences and Realizations09:10 Understanding Triggers and Jealousy17:49 Making Healthier Choices21:28 Conclusion and Listener EngagementSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎙️ Where my freaks at?  Control Freaks that is.    In this episode, we dive deep with psychologist and author Joanna Kleinman to unpack why that voice in your head is working harder than a barista during morning rush hour.  Shanenn and Joanna talk about: How your inner critic is just like the mean girl at school when you were growing up and she's been messing with you since you lost your first tooth 🛡️ The Jerry Maguire "you complete me" line is such a bad representation of the way relationships should really work and your relationship expectations may be as older than that movie.  Big red flag 🚩 How social media has become the Olympic Games of impossible standards (and why we keep competing) 🏅 Don't Miss Moments: "We're like starving dogs waiting for that bone of validation" - on why we stay in unhealthy relationships "We're dishwashers - I'm a Whirlpool, you're a GE, but we all run the same programs" - on universal human patterns Action Items from the Episode: Name your inner critic ... 😉Practice catching yourself in "control mode" Start asking "What evidence disproves this belief?" when your inner critic goes on a rantStart getting curious about your beliefs instead of judging themPractice being okay with the possibility of things not going "perfectly"Follow Joanna on her podcast "Dethroning Your Inner Critic" where she dives deeper into the MIND Method and helps women stop being their own worst critics and start being their own best advocates.  00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 00:20 Understanding the Inner Critic 01:58 Origins of the Inner Critic 06:47 Cultural and Social Influences 09:33 Control and Perfectionism 11:35 Healthy Relationships and Self-Worth 21:32 Practical Steps to Dethrone the Inner Critic 29:20 Conclusion and Podcast PromotionSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn's guest, award-winning psychologist Dr. Courtney Warren opens up about her own struggles with relationship insecurity and shares her thoughts about the lies we tell ourselves. From crying when her college boyfriend went out with friends to becoming an expert on self-deception, Dr. Warren's personal journey and professional wisdom offer hope for anyone wrestling with jealousy and relationship fears.Key Moments:- 2:00 - Why self-honesty is the key to living a fulfilling life- 9:00 - Dr. Warren shares a vulnerable story about her college relationship- 21:00 - The Three A's of Authenticity framework revealed- 31:00 - Why your friends might not understand your jealousy (and that's okay)- 37:00 - Small changes that lead to massive transformationGolden Episode Nuggets:💎 The most damaging lies are the ones we tell ourselves💎 Jealousy often has nothing to do with your partner💎 Your worth isn't determined by your relationship status💎 Change happens in micro-steps, not overnight transformations💎 Finding the right support system is crucial for healingAbout Our Guest:Dr. Courtney Warren is a board-certified clinical psychologist and author who specializes in addictions, self-deception, and eating pathology. Her TEDx talk "Honest Liars" has helped countless people understand the psychology behind self-deception and personal growth.Resources Mentioned:- Dr. Warren's TEDx Talk: "Honest Liars"- Dr. Cortney Warren's Website and Books - Support groups for relationship insecurity - Jealousy Junkie Facebook GroupQuote of the Episode:"You are not defined by your romantic relationships... whether you are loved or liked or rejected or single or coupled actually has no bearing on your value as a person." - Dr. Courtney WarrenPerfect for listeners who:- Struggle with jealousy in relationships- Want to build healthier romantic partnerships- Are ready to face their own self-deception- Feel alone in their relationship insecurities- Are working on building self-confidenceSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Feel like your relationship is hanging on by a thread?  Do you wonder if too much damage has been done to the relationship?  I was there too but you can turn things around.  Your relationship can recover from this, but it's might take you going against how you normally feel after an argument to make a difference.  It may take you recovering quickly instead of letting the shame and guilt of your actions take over.  Apologize to your partner, forgive yourself, and push yourself to get back to normal as quickly as possible.In fact:Research shows couples who recover quickly from disputes have higher relationship satisfactionOne partner's ability to recover quickly can positively impact the other partnerQuick recovery helps prevent conflict spillover into other areas of the relationshipHere are some common things to avoid but there's so much more packed in this episode:Getting defensive when partner isn't ready to accept apologiesSeeking excessive reassuranceEngaging in catastrophic thinking   Shanenn also shares some recovery strategies like:Use "I" statements when explaining your perspectiveFocus on impact rather than intentGive partner space to process their emotionsReturn to normal daily routinesAvoid forcing immediate reconciliation   ## Resources Mentioned- Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp- Individual coaching options- ForYourMarriage.com- PsychologicalScience.comSomething to highlight from the episode: "As bad as it gets, if you start making the changes, remember, you can make big changes with small steps."---## Social Media Posts### Post 1🔄 Recovery is key in relationships! Research shows couples who bounce back quickly from conflicts have higher satisfaction levels. It's not about never fighting - it's about how you recover and reconnect. #RelationshipAdvice #CoupleGoals #HealthyRelationships #TopSelfPodcast### Post 2💭 Struggling with post-conflict guilt? Stop the catastrophic thinking! Your relationship isn't doomed because of one argument. Learn how to recover and rebuild stronger than ever. New episode out now! #RelationshipTips #EmotionalHealth #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipGoals### Post 3🗝️ Quick Recovery Tip: Focus on impact, not intent. Take accountability for your actions without getting caught up in explanations. Sometimes the "why" conversation needs to wait.#RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #CommunicationTips### Post 4💪 Your partner's recovery process might look different from yours - and that's okay! Give them space to process while maintaining your normalSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🎉 Special Announcement:Join our FREE Two-Day Self-Discovery Workshop!Dates: November 4th & 5th at 1:00 pm ETRegister at: topself.com/workshopI'm talking about you on this week's episode.  The REAL you.  Often we think we have to transform into someone else to overcome jealousy and insecurity and that seems like a huge feat to become your future self you want to be.However, you already ARE your future self.  In fact, you are much closer than you think because its not about changing who you are, its about uncovering the layers of pain, hurt, disappointment and programming that you've been layering on over the years, covering up that care-free, relaxed person you once where.Key Topics Covered:Why jealousy isn't who you are – it's just a protective patternUnderstanding the root causes of jealous behaviorHow your nervous system creates safety through controlWhy fighting jealousy doesn't work (and what to do instead)Accessing your future self's wisdom todayYou weren't born jealousy and insecure, you were conditioned that way.  These are just faulty, fear-driven habits—not core components of who you are. Your feelings are perfectly valid but the thoughts creating them may need to be examined and adjusted.Lucky for you... I have a free workshop coming up and I will share a little bit about what we'll do in that workshop in todays episode.  The link to join is in the show notes or go to Topself.com/workshop to register.  00:00  Welcome and Exciting Announcements00:10  Embracing the Fall Season00:59  Introduction to Identity and Future Self02:37  Challenging Jealousy as an Identity04:53  Understanding the Root of Jealousy06:23  Real-Life Examples of Jealousy11:00  The Role of Past Experiences13:26  Triggers and Nervous System Responses14:22  Different Relationship Dynamics17:45  Understanding True Safety18:25  Reprogramming Your Brain's Safety System19:15 Embracing Your Future Self20:24  Accessing Your Inner Confidence21:30  Join the Self Discovery Workshop23:21  The Layers Covering Your True Self25:42  Final Thoughts and Workshop DetailsSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Wanna feel more supported? Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.