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Top Self

The Sneaky Way Your Past is Picking Your Partners w/ Dr. Christie Kederian EP 104

Feb 13, 2025
39:23

❤️ The Date Doctor is Here!

In this episode of Top Self, we sit down with Dr. Christie Kederian, renowned relationship therapist, former eHarmony matchmaker, and author of the upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate." Dr. K shares her expert insights on building healthy relationships, understanding family dynamics, and navigating the modern dating landscape with authenticity and purpose.


Key Moments

🎯 [02:04] The unique perspective of a therapist-matchmaker and the importance of having expert guidance in relationship choices 

🎯 [05:09] Understanding family dynamics and how they shape our relationship patterns 

🎯 [09:42] How to have vulnerable conversations about your past without oversharing 

🎯 [17:54] Reading relationship red flags through someone's response to boundaries 

🎯 [22:37] The truth about chemistry: It's more than just physical attraction 🎯 [29:58] Why over-filtering potential partners might be blocking you from finding love 

🎯 [32:39] The role of attachment styles in relationship dynamics


Golden Nuggets

💎 Chemistry isn't just about initial spark - it develops over time and has multiple dimensions 

💎 It typically takes women 5-7 dates to truly sense chemistry with someone 

💎 Your family background influences your relationship patterns, whether you're close to them or not 

💎 The "village mentality" is crucial for healthy relationships - don't expect your partner to be everything 

💎 True empathy is a key indicator of relationship potential


About Our Guest

Dr. Christie Kederian is a renowned relationship therapist and former eHarmony matchmaker known as "The Date Doctor." Her upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate" provides a strategic roadmap for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.


Action Steps for Listeners

  • Practice sharing vulnerable information progressively rather than all at once
  • Notice how potential partners respond to your boundaries
  • Look beyond surface-level chemistry to explore emotional and intellectual connections
  • Consider how your family background influences your relationship patterns
  • Focus on one date at a time instead of immediately evaluating long-term potential


Notable Quotes

"Chemistry has a lot more to do with the connection with someone over a period of time... There's physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry." - Dr. Christie Kederian

"How someone responds when you communicate that you're triggered... that's where really the beautiful corrective emotional experience happens." - Dr. Christie Kederian


Perfect For Listeners Who:

  • Are actively dating and feeling overwhelmed by the process
  • Want to understand how their family back

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.


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