TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.Golden Episode Nuggets:💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understandingKey Moments:3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safeResources Mentioned:Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th.  Register hereWatch THIS episode on YouTube Shanenn's new podcast:On Apple Lead Without LimitsOn YouTube Lead Without LimitsQuote of the Episode:“When your body feels safe, your brain can finally tell the truth.”Perfect for listeners who:Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seekingWant to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationshipAre ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safetyAre doing the deep work to heal attachment wounds and regulate from the inside out📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one way you’re helping your Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance.From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy.If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought habits secretly draining you and how to replace them with empowering defaults.Golden Episode Nuggets:💎 You are not your thoughts—your brain’s habits can be rewired💎 Resentment is a neon sign flashing: “Missing boundary here”💎 “I should” and “I have to” are energy leaks disguised as productivity💎 Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s what shows up after you act💎 Your natural genius is the thing that feels easy to you but amazes othersKey Moments:· 3:45 – Why 80% of our thoughts are subconscious (and how to catch the unhealthy ones)· 7:10 – The “value vs. performance” hand exercise that could change how you see yourself· 12:50 – What resentment actually means (hint: it’s a missing boundary)· 15:00 – The 3 most common toxic thought habits women carry· 21:40 – The Resentment Audit: a practical way to uncover unspoken needs· 25:15 – How to find your “natural genius” and stop undervaluing your giftsAbout Our Guest:Amy Kemp is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More. Her work helps women reprogram limiting thought habits so they can stop second-guessing themselves and start living and leading with clarity and energy.Take her free Habit Finder assessment to discover your subconscious thought patterns and how to shift them at www.amykemp.com.Resources Mentioned:The Habit Finder Assessment – Free at amykemp.comI See You by Amy Kemp – available on Amazon, Audible, and Bookshop.orgQuote of the Episode:“Every time you feel resentment, imagine a neon sign flashing ‘Missing Boundary’—because your energy is trying to tell you something.” – Amy KempPerfect for listeners who:· Constantly feel like they “should be doing more”· Struggle with people-pleasing, burnout, or overthinking· Want to break free from perfectionism and performative self-worth· Are ready to understand their energy leaks and reclaim peace· Are looking to rediscover their identity beyond roles and titles📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one thought habit you’re ready to rewire?Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with clinical psychologist and gratitude expert Dr. Peggy DeLong known as The Gratitude Psychologist to explore how gratitude can be a lifeline in life’s hardest seasons.Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, Peggy shares the science and soul behind why gratitude is most powerful on your worst days not your best. From the moment she found comfort in a cup of hazelnut coffee while sitting at her fiancé’s deathbed, to her 5-minute daily gratitude practice, this episode is packed with perspective shifts that can change the way you cope, connect, and heal.If you’ve ever thought “I know I should be grateful, but I just can’t right now,” this conversation is for you.💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:💡 Gratitude is most impactful in pain—not after it💡 Saying “thank you” aloud triggers positive brain chemicals (dopamine + serotonin)💡 You can’t feel anxious and grateful at the same time—gratitude interrupts worry💡 Gratitude letters benefit your mood, even if you don’t send them💡 Emotional pain always reveals a value—use that value to move forward🔑 Key Moments:3:30 – How a simple cup of coffee helped Peggy survive loss7:15 – Why saying “thank you” aloud changes your brain chemistry10:00 – The Reticular Activating System and how it filters what you notice13:00 – The most important gratitude habit for improving mental health18:00 – Gratitude letters: why they benefit the writer more than the recipient20:00 – Using pain as a trigger to practice gratitude24:30 – How gratitude can significantly improve your sleep26:40 – The link between gratitude, resilience, and rewiring your brain👩‍⚕️ About Our Guest:Dr. Peggy DeLong is a licensed psychologist, speaker, author, and founder of the Feeling Good Institute. Known as “The Gratitude Psychologist,” she teaches people how to cultivate joy, emotional resilience, and well-being through the power of gratitude and positive psychology. Her programs, books, and workshops are designed to make science-backed tools feel simple and accessible for anyone—especially during difficult times.Learn more at www.peggydelong.comFollow her on Instagram: @drpeggydelong📚 Resources Mentioned:Dr. Peggy’s Book: Feel the GoodHer Signature Program: The Gratitude Experience🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:Struggle with anxiety, grief, or overthinkingWant to rewire their brain for peace and resilienceNeed a simple, powerful way to start a gratitude pracSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life.Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace.Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and outdated narratives helps you build emotional security, deeper relationships, and a more grounded sense of self-worth.From the fear behind obsessive thoughts to the healing power of self-forgiveness, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop spiraling—and start feeling free.💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:💎 We obsess to feel in control—but it keeps us stuck in fear.💎 Letting go of the past isn’t forgetting—it’s releasing your grip on pain.💎 Control shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overthinking.💎 True intimacy starts when we stop trying to manage the outcome.💎 You can’t build a secure relationship without building self-trust first.🔑 Key Moments:· 3:00 – The 10 invisible attachments that are silently running your life· 6:45 – How childhood wounds show up in your adult relationships· 8:50 – Why control and perfection are actually fear-based addictions· 12:10 – How to stay connected to your partner without getting consumed· 16:00 – The real reason self-love is essential to relationship security· 21:00 – What “obsessive thoughts” are trying to do—and how to break the loop· 24:50 – Bob’s personal battle with addiction, and how he finally let go· 29:00 – The success myth: why achievements won’t heal your insecurity· 32:00 – Why we fear aging—and how to detach from youth-based worth· 35:00 – How to take Bob’s Attachment Assessment and start your own healing👤 About Our Guest:Bob Rosen is a psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control, and Peace. With decades of experience coaching Fortune 500 CEOs, Bob brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western psychology to help people release mental baggage and reclaim their peace.He shares not only client stories but his own powerful personal journey—including his recovery from opiate addiction and perfectionism—and how letting go gave him his life back.📍 Find Bob’s book, take the Attachment Assessment, or download his Book Club Kit at: www.bobrosen.com📚 Resources Mentioned:Book: Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control and PeaceFree Attachment Assessment: bobrosen.com✨ Quote of the Episode:Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism. Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead. From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.Key Moments:·       2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect·       6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need·       12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say·       20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”·       29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner’s silence·       38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that’ll test your jealousy triggersGolden Episode Nuggets:💎  Criticism is often a shield for unspoken fear or vulnerability💎  Most people don’t sign up for unsolicited feedback in their relationships💎  Turning a complaint into a request helps your partner want to meet your needs💎  You can feel connected and secure—even in uncertain moments💎  When you reveal your “real” feeling, your partner is more likely to show up for youAbout Our Guest:Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the Empowered Relationship podcast. She helps couples break out of reactive patterns and build deeper emotional intimacy. Her work blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help couples thrive. Her free guide, “Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication,” offers powerful real-life examples to help you reframe common communication pitfalls and start getting your needs met—without pushing your partner away.Resources Mentioned:Free Guide: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication (www.drjessicahiggins.com)The Gottman Institute’s Research on Criticism & the “Four Horsemen”Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Register for the upcoming BootcampQuote of the Episode:“If I turn any complaint into a request or a reveal, I give my partner a chance to actually show up for me.” – Dr. Jessica HigginsPerfect for listeners who:·       Criticize out of habit—and want a better way to be heard·       Struggle with jealousy, control, or emotional reactivity·       Want to feel more seen and understood in their relationship·       Are ready to break patterns that keep them disconnected·       Are working to build secure, emotSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this powerful episode of Top Self, host Shanenn Bryant sits down with Leah Lemberg, who shares her remarkable journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to becoming 16 years sober and helping others transform their lives. From IV drug use at 18 to finding sobriety and purpose, Leah's story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with addiction, unhealthy patterns, or leadership challenges.Golden Nuggets:💎 "How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I don't want?" - A powerful question for self-reflection 💎 Creating space in your day for reflection helps you make better choices when triggered 💎 There's always a moment of choice between reactive patterns and intentional responses 💎 Recovery isn't just about abstinence - there's a "third way" that offers true freedom 💎 "How you show up here is how you show up everywhere" - Our patterns affect all areas of lifeAbout Our Guest:Leah Lemberg is a coach who combines her 16 years of sobriety experience with business leadership expertise. After transforming her own life, she now helps others apply 12-step principles to business and personal challenges. Her sobriety date is January 9, 2009.Perfect for listeners who:Are struggling with addiction or have loved ones who areWant to break unhealthy patterns in their personal or professional livesAre interested in applying 12-step principles to business leadershipNeed strategies for self-reflection and emotional regulationWant to improve how they show up in their relationships and workResources Mentioned:Book: "Reboot" by Jerry ColonnaKey Moments:[00:01:07] Introduction to Leah Lemberg and her dog Ajax[00:02:28] Leah shares her background growing up in an alcoholic home[00:04:35] Discussion of the rarity of maintaining sobriety[00:06:27] How addiction affects family dynamics and connectivity[00:08:04] The impact of maintaining appearances and facades[00:09:23] Exploring hypervigilance and its effects on relationships[00:13:47] How Leah transformed her experiences into helping others[00:16:04] The powerful question: "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"[00:18:26] Breakdown of the 12-step approach adapted for business and personal growth[00:20:48] The "Hansel and Gretel" approach to reflection and awareness[00:23:50] The "Trash Heap" analogy for making better choices[00:28:22] Leah's wisdom on finding "the third way" beyond using and white-knucklingSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Greg Stewart, counselor, executive coach, and author to explore why insecurity might be the most valuable emotion we experience. Dr. Stewart shares his powerful framework for understanding emotional triggers and reveals how owning our insecurities can be the key to personal freedom.From his concept of "the house of your heart" to practical techniques like "embrace the digs," Dr. Stewart offers a refreshing perspective on emotional intelligence that can transform how you experience your relationships.Golden Nuggets:💎 "The plain and simple fact that you can't stand it when you fail proves it's not who you are at your core." - Dr. Greg Stewart💎 "What happens when we take things personally? The insult is impacting our value and worth. And it should not."💎 "Your identity is you at your best. This takes the impact of failures and weaknesses down from devastating to just disappointing."💎 "I don't need my partner to validate or pursue me. I want them to, but I don't need them to."💎 "When a strength is taken too far, it becomes a weakness—especially when we experience negative emotion."About Our Guest:Dr. Greg Stewart is a counselor, executive coach, and consultant who spent 15 years as a pastor and 3 years in organizational development. He's the author of two books: "I Cubed" for individual growth and "I Cubed for Couples," with a third book "I Cubed for Leaders" in development. Dr. Stewart completed his PhD studying emotional intelligence and brings a unique perspective on healing from insecurity and developing healthy relationships.Resources Mentioned:Dr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed" for individual growth and developmentDr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed for Couples" for relationship developmentComing Soon: "I Cubed for Leaders" (Fall release)Perfect for listeners who:Struggle with jealousy or insecurity in their relationshipsWant to stop taking things personally and being easily triggeredNeed to break free from seeking validation from othersAre working on building confidence and self-worthWant to understand the deeper causes of their emotional reactionsAction Steps:Identify what lies you believe about yourself that cause "inflation of emotion"Practice "embracing the digs" by owning truthful criticism instead of defendingEvaluate whether your need for validation is making you emotionally dependentRecognize when your strengths might be taken too far and becoming weaknessesAsk yourself "What did I lose?" from past trauma that you need to reclaimEpisode Highlights:[00:01:16] Why insecurity is the "richest emotion" for what it can reveal about ourselves[00:02:49] The concept of "inflation of emotion" and why we often react more intensely than situations warrant[00:04:08] The three main reasons ouSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Rachel Glik, a licensed professional counselor with over 30 years of experience as a couples and individual therapist. Dr. Glik shares insights from her new book "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose," offering her thoughts on how to nurture lasting love and embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth.Golden Episode Nuggets:💎 "The impact of our own personal growth work and turning to ourselves first to transform, evolve, heal, and feel whole is how we create a better impact with the people in our lives."💎 "When we are reactive, we only plant seeds that keep us in the same patterns."💎 "Your relationship is your purpose to grow. Whenever there's growth, there's some sort of confusion or conflict."💎 "Don't stop growing. Don't be afraid to grow. You can do it thoughtfully while still respecting your partner's journey."💎 "People who are going to have long-lasting energy in their relationship are those who continue growing together."About Our Guest:Dr. Rachel Glik is a licensed professional counselor with more than 30 years of experience as a couples and individual therapist in her private practice. She has been featured on Fox 2 AM Show in St. Louis as a relationship and mental health expert. Her new book "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose" offers a comprehensive approach to creating lasting, fulfilling relationships.Resources Mentioned:Dr. Rachel Glik's book: "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose"The "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" assessment questions in the book's addendumPerfect for listeners who:Are experiencing relationship friction and want to reframe it as an opportunity for growthNeed guidance on having productive conversations about relationship growth with their partnerWant to understand the role of personal responsibility in relationship challengesAre questioning whether to stay in or leave their current relationshipAre considering marriage and want to establish a strong foundationEpisode Highlights:[00:01:36] Dr. Glik discusses the various anxieties people experience around marriage and commitment[00:03:07] Why lasting love is a trainable skill that begins with internal growth[00:04:44] Strategies for sharing relationship wisdom with a partner who may not be receptive to reading self-help books[00:07:08] Finding balance between actively working on relationship issues and simply enjoying what's good[00:09:17] The importance of stepping back from problems to gain perspective and find unexpected solutions[00:12:10] How commitment to the process (rather than immediate solutions) creSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

🤣 🤣  Get ready to laugh your way through relationship real talk! In this episode, we're joined by the hilarious duo from the "We're Not Fine" podcast - relationship therapist Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen - for an unfiltered discussion about those "Is this normal?" relationship questions.Shanenn, Talia, and Doug dive into:The great memorabilia debate: Is it okay to keep items from past relationships?The Instagram thirst trap dilemma: When does looking become liking?The workplace flirting fear: Where's the line between friendly and flirty?Don't Miss Moments:"We're all human. And one of the things I think we don't do well in our culture is allow humanness." - on relationship reality checks"If you can't have fun and make light sometimes about serious things, you know, we just gotta lighten the mood sometimes." - on keeping perspectiveThe hilarious algorithm incident that has Doug mysteriously following muscular men cooking with pugs 🐶Golden Nuggets: 💎 Transparency and trust are more important than trying to protect your partner from difficult truths 💎 Every relationship needs its own unique agreements about boundaries 💎 Growth in relationships often means moving from insecurity to security through open communication 💎 Sometimes the hardest conversations are the most important ones to haveAction Items from the Episode:Have an open discussion with your partner about relationship boundaries and agreementsPractice distinguishing between secrecy and privacy in your relationshipConsider whether your social media behavior aligns with your relationship valuesRemember that what works for one couple might not work for anotherAbout Our Guests: Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen host the "We're Not Fine" podcast where they talk about relationships with no holds barred. Their combined expertise in relationship therapy and real-world experience brings both professional insight and practical wisdom to relationship discussions.Find the Guests:Instagram: @DouglaslJensen and @DrTaliaJacksonPodcast: We're Not FineWebsite: werenotfine.comYouTube: We're Not FineTikTok: @werenotfinePerfect for listeners who:Want honest, unfiltered relationship adviceNeed a good laugh while tackling serious topicsAre curious about what's "normal" in relationshipsWant to build healthier relationship boundariesEnjoy real talk about modern relationship challengesSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

❤️ The Date Doctor is Here!In this episode of Top Self, we sit down with Dr. Christie Kederian, renowned relationship therapist, former eHarmony matchmaker, and author of the upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate." Dr. K shares her expert insights on building healthy relationships, understanding family dynamics, and navigating the modern dating landscape with authenticity and purpose.Key Moments🎯 [02:04] The unique perspective of a therapist-matchmaker and the importance of having expert guidance in relationship choices 🎯 [05:09] Understanding family dynamics and how they shape our relationship patterns 🎯 [09:42] How to have vulnerable conversations about your past without oversharing 🎯 [17:54] Reading relationship red flags through someone's response to boundaries 🎯 [22:37] The truth about chemistry: It's more than just physical attraction 🎯 [29:58] Why over-filtering potential partners might be blocking you from finding love 🎯 [32:39] The role of attachment styles in relationship dynamicsGolden Nuggets💎 Chemistry isn't just about initial spark - it develops over time and has multiple dimensions 💎 It typically takes women 5-7 dates to truly sense chemistry with someone 💎 Your family background influences your relationship patterns, whether you're close to them or not 💎 The "village mentality" is crucial for healthy relationships - don't expect your partner to be everything 💎 True empathy is a key indicator of relationship potentialAbout Our GuestDr. Christie Kederian is a renowned relationship therapist and former eHarmony matchmaker known as "The Date Doctor." Her upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate" provides a strategic roadmap for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.Action Steps for ListenersPractice sharing vulnerable information progressively rather than all at onceNotice how potential partners respond to your boundariesLook beyond surface-level chemistry to explore emotional and intellectual connectionsConsider how your family background influences your relationship patternsFocus on one date at a time instead of immediately evaluating long-term potentialNotable Quotes"Chemistry has a lot more to do with the connection with someone over a period of time... There's physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry." - Dr. Christie Kederian"How someone responds when you communicate that you're triggered... that's where really the beautiful corrective emotional experience happens." - Dr. Christie KederianPerfect For Listeners Who:Are actively dating and feeling overwhelmed by the processWant to understand how their family background affects their relationshipsStruggle with vulnerability and sharing their pastAre seeking to build deeper, more meaningful connectionsWant to understand the true nature of chemistry and compatibiliSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.