Smart Dating Academy - The Podcast

Top 10 Things To Do When You’re Dating After Divorce 1.     Do the work – DO therapy / coaching.  Make sure you have processed the relationship, and most importantly, know what YOUR part in the relationship break up was 2.     Hire someone to help you 3.     Fix Your Picker – Have you noticed that your ‘picker’ is broken?  Get help around this – it’s due to social media, attachment, not knowing what you need vs. want, evolution, and more 4.     Get Psychotically Optimistic about your future – does the thought of dating excite you? 5.     Get online the right way – Take this seriously!!   a.     Have great photos b.     Write a great profile c.     We don’t pick great photos of ourselves! 6.     Have a dating strategy – 15 minutes in the morning/evening a.     Date multiple people at the same time b.     If you’re a single parent, use video to be efficient!  Crazy can’t hide for more than 10 minutes c.     Only go on a few dates per week! 7.     Keep things slow!!  You’ll probably want to rush out especially if your love cup is empty.  Wait 15 dates so you don't get any love bombers/narcissists, etc.  Time is the most important commodity in dating! 8.     Don’t go over to anyone’s house prematurely.  Listen to WHY in the episode!   9.     Get physical if and only if you want to.  There is no such thing as a 3 date rule!!   Only do what you’re comfortable with. There is NO pressure to do anything, and if someone is making you feel bad that you’re not ‘fast enough’ they’re not for you 10.  Only take advice from people who can guide you correctly.  Your friends mean well, but probably not well-versed in dating.  Goes back to rule #2 to hire someone to help you!   Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Cheating -- If you see someone's partner cheating, do you tell them?   This week's episode breaks it ALL down! What sparked this whole episode was a text Bela received from someone that said: "Have you ever had a client that was on a dating app, and saw someone else’s significant other/someone they’re dating on a dating app?  Do I tell the person?  I mean, I would want to know but now every woman would want to know.  I told someone once and they stopped talking to me.  What do I do?" I gave her some advice but more importantly, I was SO curious to hear what YOU think, so I ran a poll on Instagram last week, and the results were AWESOME.   Tune into this sweet 25 minute episode to hear ALL the dish including: Should you tell someone that their partner is cheating?    How many of you have been cheated on? How did the VAST majority of people find out they were cheated on? If someone told you that your partner was cheating, were you mad? What's the best way to give yourself comfort that your partner isn't cheating? HOW should you treat someone who tells you your partner is cheating? Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

How do you make sure you are having safe sex?  Whether you're out there dating, or thinking of dipping your toe into the pool, this episode with Dr. Lauren Streicher will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know (fact and fiction) about safe sex including: Do you have to have 'sex-sex' (intercourse) to get an STI?  Spoiler alert - no.   What should you do to 'get tested'? The Top 5 tests in Dr. Streicher's "STI screen" What men think about 'vaginal grooming' today - and what Dr. Streicher's survey says! What if you can't have an orgasm?  She divides it into two groups -- NEVER had one before, and HAD them before but can't now... What are "safe sex panties"??   Does wearing a condom protect you from all STIs? What's the whole deal with 'anal sex' and how should you 'do it' if you want?? This and SO much more in the episode!  Just make sure you're ALONE when you're listening to this -- you don't want to be with your Mom or your kids!! Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

How do you create amazing personal and professional networks?   Today's guest, Larry Kaufman (the King of Linked In with over 30,000 contacts and author of the NCG Factor) wil tell us HOW he has cultivated deep, meaningful relationships with literally thousands of people through his method of authenticity, and NCG (networking, connecting and giving).  And it's not the 'ugh' type of networking.  In this episode, we will show you specifically: How to SHINE in any interaction you have (a date, an interview, a new friend) What "If you Lead With Yourself, You Leave With Yourself" means, and how to AVOID this!   How to be a true "giver" vs. a "taker" How to tell someone they're talking too much (not asking you ANYTHING about yourself - ahem, has this NEVER happened to you on a date, lol!?) How to never "show up and throw up." How to get set up with amazing singles (Smart Dating Academy's "Superconnector" strategy) How Larry met his wife at McDonald's (yes, she was wearing burgundy polyester) How Larry helped a CEO in transition to get a great gig, and to fall in love! How to truly approach connections and "give" (people will NEVER forget) What to do if you're with a taker! Relationships are at the center of the human experience, and the primary reason for people's happiness.   This episode has GREAT advice for anyone whether you're single or in a relationship!  You'll learn tips on how to be a better human and friend.    (Brief Bio): Larry Kaufman is the Best-Selling Author of The NCG Factor  – A Formula for Building Life-Changing Relationships from College to Retirement.  He is a connector, giver, and rainmaker who lives his life to help others succeed. He is a Senior Level Sales & Operations Leader running the Midwest Region for Jefferson Wells. Larry has also been a globally-published speaker and trainer on LinkedIn for more than a decade.  Larry is an investor and advisor to several local technology companies and supports a number of local and national charities.  Larry resides in a Chicago suburb with his wife and two children. Book Link:  https://lnkd.in/g6xyVq5N  (The NCG Factor on Amazon) Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Bela talks to client Marilyn Dollar about how she found love after TWO bad marriages -- one was at the age of 17 (involving physical abuse), and the other was the father of her children (infidelity).   In a prior podcast episode, Sugar mentioned how a Smart Dating Academy Instagram Live episode with Marilyn changed her dating life, so we invited Marilyn to tell ALL of you the story that inspired Sugar.   Marilyn is so relatable - we all have Marilyn inside of us.  Listen for the following gems: What made Marilyn realize she needed help in the dating process (it might have to do with a boyfriend that she only spent time with in the bedroom or Home Depot) How Marilyn changed so much that she found love AND was promoted from an "Admin" four levels to "Global Marketing Manager" What happened 7 days after Marilyn met Bela & Lindsay at the Four Seasons, and why didn't Bela recognize her? What site she MET the love of her life on (hint....it's NOT Bumble or Hinge or Match) What parameters she changed to bring Jim into her filter, that would have NEVER brought him to her beforehand? Does a dozen roses on date 1 mean he's a "love bomber?" How she deprioritized "height" and found a tall guy anyway! What's Marilyn's BEST advice for you at the end?  It has to do with light, and it's NOT what you might think it is  You will get chills listening to Marilyn's story, and be inspired that the lid to your pot is just one message away! Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Part 2 of this episode is amazing!  Bela and Lindsay of Smart Dating Academy are back, discussing MORE secrets that have made their clients successful in finding love!   Here are some nuggets you'll hear: Where there is smoke, there is fire - Most of my divorced clients can point to something very specific early on that indicated something wasn’t right. People make time for things they want! There is no such thing as being “too busy” when someone is ready to date. They will ALWAYS make time. Even if it’s just for a quick cup of coffee. The busier someone is and the less they prioritize you is a sign that their “taxi light is not on”….they aren’t ready.   Believe that you are a catch and act like one! He or she is lucky to meet you and they will earn you. Create an identity around dating.    Everyone is afraid of rejection. You are afraid. They are afraid. It’s neutralized.  What you think about dating decides your outcome! Mindset is everything! Our positive clients who embrace dating (even when it is DRY AS A DESERT) find love because they never give up. Our clients who decide they hate it…usually don’t.  What can you do to become psychotically optimistic???    Old trauma often shows up in new relationships. ·       Pay attention to what people tell you in the beginning.  ·       Past trauma has a big impact on ability to find love without therapy ·       Know their triggers so you can avoid them in a relationship. Clarify if you might have misinterpreted something.  Never assume! Just ask. Don’t make assumptions…ask.   Clearly define the relationship and you won’t be surprised down the road Sex changes everything, and how to have the best sex of your life  The people around you shape who you are! You are the combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with! When it comes to finding love, make sure you share what’s going on with people who are encouraging and supportive. Like us….ahh!    Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Bela chats with her long standing Smart Dating Academy coach Lindsay Anderson in a 2 part episode to review the secrets of her most successful clients!   Lindsay has been helping people find love for over 20 years, and has helped thousands of singles find love!   They will discuss the patterns that have HELPED their clients most!   You won't want to miss any of this, and here are some highlights of the episode: 1) You won’t know who the love of your life is based off on online profile or a first date - and hear WHY! 2) Ignore the clock - internally and externally!  How and why to do that!    3) Doing something everyday adds up to big results over time - what's the best routine?  4) Treasure Hunting - How people find love in the most unexpected places! 5) Diversify your dating life - how do you do that?   6) Where there is smoke, there is fire....Kick the tires, and hard! Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Have you ever wondered if someone was 'interested' in you?  Body language is a critical part of attraction - and understanding it can help you to not "blow" an opportunity!  And, you can understand how to BEST use it to your favor, and indicate your interest to someone!   In this episode, Bela discusses 7 key signs of attraction, with a whole section on what "men" vs. "women" do when they're 'showing interest!'   You'll love this short and sweet episode - and make sure you save it to play and replay! 93% of attraction/first impressions comes from non-verbal communication!   We will discuss: How to use your eyes for maximum attraction and HOW someone looks at you to know if they're interested What our FEET will tell us What preening is, and how men/women do it... What kinds of questions indicate interest What is 'mirroring' and why does it indicate interest (or not)! And so much more!   Bela will take you through each point quickly, in a way that. you will clearly remember!    Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

What are some SMALL changes you can make TODAY for BIG results in your dating life?   Bela goes through 8 ways that you can have positive changes instantly, and here are some things she will cover! What online parameters can you change for biggest results?  Bela will tell you the ones that MATTER and where her clients have had success!   Start playing the game 3 Blind Mice online (described in detail)!  You never know WHO you'll meet!   How can you change your story?   Listen for how Jill changed her story and got a GREAT date by one tip... What time do you go online every day?  Why does doing a different time matter? How long should you be on a site or an app?  Should you buy a 1, 3, 6 or 12 month plan? How do you change up your mood instantly for a date?   Why does your 'internal clock' derail you?   Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Know the signs of a catfisher or con-person that aren't so obvious?  Bela and Ilene drop ALL the bombs here -- from their real life client experience, and highlights from the Tinder Swindler that could happen to ANY of us!   There's a little bit inside most of us that has the "Disney fairy tale ending" wish inside of us (both men and women).  And, that can make the smartest of us susceptible to red flags such as : Receiving a message from someone who seems 'too good to be true' (their photos & profile are the stuff of legends) Over the Top gestures Tries to lure you off the dating site Won't pick up spontaneous calls / Facetimes You have a feeling in your gut something is off….. They ask for personal info but don't give their own You don't see their home life Take on trusted identities- military, service, working abroad They don't keep their promises And there are WAY more tips/clues that you'll hear in the episode.  It's short, sweet and FULL of gems - so make sure you download this one to be in the know at all times. Join our free newsletter database by signing up here:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela