Smart Dating Academy - The Podcast

Silvia Foti is an amazing woman, author, high-school English teacher, and a client of Smart Dating Academy who found love.  Silvia was willing to share her inspiring story with all of YOU to show you that love is possible under even the toughest of circumstances.   Silvia was married for 35 years.  Her mother died when Silvia was 38 years old, and her last wish on her deathbed was that Silvia finish her book, documenting her grandfather’s heroic military career in Lithuania.  What Silvia discovered is that her ‘heroic’ grandfather was anything but that – he was helping Hitler exterminate thousands of Lithuanian Jews.  It took Silvia ten years to process the grief of this – and another ten to write the book (which has brought death threats from around the world).  Her daughter overdosed and passed away at the age of 21 in 2016.  In 2019, her husband blindsided her with a divorce.   Listen to this story of amazing perseverance, cleverness, and heart of how Silvia found her “federal agent” love – how they waited 15 dates for….you know….and how in LOVE they are today.  He travels with her supporting HER career and book, and went at HER pace, showing her that a man that wants to be with you will move MOUNTAINS to be with you.   Here are some gems you'll hear! ·       What is the Smart Dating Academy 15 date rule??  ·       How she felt when she got online (and got new pictures/profile)?   ·       What happened when she ‘launched’ her profile on November 3rd?   ·       How Ilene helped her get out of the ‘pen-pal’ phase… ·       What he brought her on the first date… ·       What he brought her on the SECOND date, and what she sprung on HIM! ·       Why the way he held her hand almost caused her to end it ·       What he said when she said she wanted to wait “15 dates” (one of the BEST moments of the show)! ·       How they've now spent over 1,000 hours together, and how in love they are…. Here is a link to book your consultation with Smart Dating Academy if you are READY to find love in 2022!  https://bit.ly/3vIWY9n Here is a link to buy Silvia’s AMAZING book:  https://amzn.to/3N8CT2r

This episode is something you have ASKED FOR!   Flirting, building charisma & confidence is something we ALL want to get better at - whether we are single or coupled!   I brought on one of my favorite experts, Kimmy Seltzer, who is a confidence therapist, flirting wingwoman and personal stylist.  There is something for EVERYONE in this episode - woman or man!    What is the magic formula, The Charisma Quotient and how do you use it to build a sexy confidence? What is the 'outside-in' approach?    Why does everyone (including men!) need a red dress moment?  What was Kimmy's (and it has to do with Birkenstock's and nursing bras)....   What is the biggest style mistake men make?  And women?  What are the 3 Cs for style makeovers? Why is flirting such an important part of dating and being irresistible? HOW can you flirt, especially if you're shy?    What is a flirting move you can start TODAY?    How do you take the fear out of flirting & rejection? How did Bela's client who went to Harvard change her approach -- which led to her marriage?  :) What are the best conversation starters to make a chat feel FUN?   What are the common mistakes women make when it comes to flirting and being in their feminine?  Men? You'll love this episode -- I certainly did!   If you did, rate it, write us a love note, and SHARE with your networks!  We LOVE that, and will do a coaching giveaway for people who write reviews!    If you want to hear more from us, click here to join our free newsletter database!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact If you're ready to find love and schedule a session with us, click here to invest in a session that will change your life!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela If you want Kimmy's free gift, click www.kimmyseltzer.com  Kimmy's Bio:  Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Image Expert.  With a vat of knowledge and experience as a therapist, certified style coach, dating coach, and matchmaker, she has helped people find lasting love and connection, attract success and build valuable relationships using her unique “confidence makeover” process. Using an outside-in approach, Kimmy implements targeted style, emotional and social intelligence in people’s lives using her signature formula, “The Charisma Quotient,” working on body language, first impressions, image/wardrobe and flirting and how it impacts attraction. This Los Angeles-based expert travels the country helping people discover confidence, charisma and connection as a speaker at National Matchmaking Conferences, eHarmony, Neutrogena, The Guild at Universal, UCLA and iDate. Kimmy is also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post with appearances in Cosmopolitan, Oprah Magazine, Redbook, Reader’s Digest, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Yahoo and the Washington Examiner, among a myriad of other publications. Kimmy has been the leading love expert on the traveling live dating show The Great Love Debate, a show on Amazon Live with SwayTv, Kimmy’s Love Hub and the cable reality series, The Romance. You can also listen to her on her podcast, The Charisma Quotient and regular Ask Kimmy segments on the Chaz and AJ Morning Show on 99.1 PLR and 95.9 The Fox.

This conversation covers AMAZING gems, including: --3 Myths About Men (these are awesome, and have to do with 'the chase', sex, and feelings) --The differences between men's & women's brains (I about passed out when I learned this - it makes COMPLETE sense) --The AWESOME four communication archetypes (are you a lioness, puppy, koala bear or scorpion)? --How to get men to HEAR you (and it doesn't have to do with raising your voice)! --What are some quick communication tips that women can use in challenging situations with men?    --How to get men or anyone to help you (it's called the 'appreciation' sandwich) --The ONE simple daily practice to stay in balance --How we can tell if our lives are OUT of alignment (and how that affects our dating lives)--Why 'going hard' is BAD for a relationship --What 'coming from a place of love' can do to blossom your love for EVERYONE in your life.  Sandy Weiner, Bela's guest, is the founder of Last First Date, is a TEDx speaker, relationship coach, author and podcast host.    Sandy's communication archetype quiz is here:  https://lastfirstdate.com/4-communication-archetypes/#sthash.HVO24czW.dpbs For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter!   https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/

This episode is AMAZING with Rachel Zar, renowned sex and relationship therapist.   We discussed ALL of the things you need to know - and make sure you don't have little ears around you while listening to this!   1) WHEN is the right time to have sex? 2) If you've had sex with someone, is it advisable / necessary to have sex every time? 3) What's the thing that causes the BEST sex, always? 4) What is the right thing to do with "hair down there"?? 5) How do you get to know your own body? 6) If the sex isn't good the first time, what should you do? 7) We don't want men to be inexperienced, but don't want them to have 'hooked up' with too many women?  What gives? 8) When to talk about STI's? 9) What we should be focusing on during sex (hint - it's not just orgasm)! Listen to this episode, and if you love it (you WILL), please please write a review (it's worth it's weight in gold)!   Share with friends as well! If this episode has inspired you to get back into the dating world, and your profile & photos need an overhaul, join our "Online Dating Love Lab" Zoom workshop on April 24th, from 1pm-4pm CST!  Go to: www.smartdatingacademy.com/the-online-dating-love-lab to JOIN!   Spots are LIMITED! If you want to watch Bela's TEDx talk about the "Secret to Finding Lasting Love", click here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIyvhq3zWLg&t=48s Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist who specializes in relationship and sex therapy. Rachel sees clients at Spark Chicago Therapy and at The Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at Northwestern Hospital. 

Colin Egglesfield is an AMAZING actor who has walked the red carpets of Hollywood, starring in "Something Borrowed" with the beautiful Kate Hudson.  He's also been on All My Children and Melrose Place, just to name a few.   Colin is a VERY eligible bachelor, and came on the podcast to talk about what men like him are REALLY looking for in women (he's dated both actresses as well as us 'normal' girls too)!   We shared: How a kid from Michigan ended up being a Versace model (entered a contest) How he ended up in Hollywood What Colin is MOST attracted to Why he hasn't been married yet (it's not for lack of opportunity) His favorite quality in women What his BIGGEST turnoff is (oof!) Why dating is like auditions How to REJECTION proof your dating mindset (brilliant tip here)! Listen to the whole thing, because it's full of juice and nuggets you'll want to share with ALL of your friends! ONLINE DATING LOVE LAB - April 24! To get your TOTALLY date ready for the summer, we have opened the doors to our small group, April 24th "Online Dating Love Lab!!"   You'll know how to take AMAZING photos, which are your best photos, and you'll write 2 amazing profiles by getting our private workbook to do it!  Seats are VERY limited, and get yours now!  Bela will be hosting this with the SDA team on April 24th (1-4pm CST) via Zoom, and you can register/get a spot by putting this link into your browser!   https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/the-online-dating-love-lab  Colin is hosting an Inspire Summit in Chicago, where Bela will be speaking on 4/23 -- and you can grab your tickets here (put this link in your browser)!   https://www.eventbrite.com/e/inspire-summit-2022-with-colin-egglesfield-tickets-302182224167 Don't forget to review the podcast, and share it on your social media feeds!  We love the love! And, sign up for the Smart Dating Academy newsletter (free) by filling out the form here:  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram to get DAILY wisdom, laughs, and inspiration:  @smartdatingacademy  

In this episode, I discuss TOXIC friendships/relationships and staying out of the "RED Zone" with therapist Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo who is Shaquille O'Neal's "Head Coach for Happiness", author of "Get Out of the Red Zone", and mental health expert on the TODAY Show, Good Morning America and the New York Times.  We covered a TON, and you're going to love it all, especially: What are the signs of a toxic relationship? HOW to check our own internal dialogue before declaring a relationship toxic What are some steps to take if you are in a toxic relationship? Do toxic people REALIZE they're toxic? What is the Red Zone? What happens in the Red Zone? How do we know if we are in the Red Zone? How does being in the Red Zone impact our relationships? How can we get out of the Red Zone?  I hope you LOVE the episode, because I loved doing it!  If you do, PLEASE give it 5 stars and a great review - it means the world to us!   Sending you a cyberhug for it! :) Dr. E's Bio: In her first week of psychology school, Elizabeth was madly taking notes as her professor spoke, and something hit her. “Why do I have to get a Ph.D. to learn this information? We would all benefit from better understanding how our mind works and how to make it work for and not against us.” And this became her life mission: to share research-supported techniques to optimize your mindset and thrive in life. Dr. E, as her clients affectionately call her, has personally helped numerous high-profile individuals achieve success.  Her newest book entitled “Get Out of the Red Zone: Transform Stress and Optimize True Success” helps individuals and organizations better cope with stress to enhance engagement, productivity and profitability.  Having worked with many Fortune 500 companies, including Coca-Cola, Deloitte, UBS and Westinghouse, Dr. E is considered one of America’s most-trusted celebrity psychologists. Dr. E is passionate about helping people transform their personal and professional lives through proven methods.   Watch: TED Talk - The Secret to Lasting Love! (link is here if you need it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIyvhq3zWLg&t=128s) Buy Dr. E's Red Zone book:  https://www.amazon.com/Get-Out-Red-Zone-Transform/dp/1953445071/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=get+out+of+the+red+zone+book&qid=1647637436&sprefix=get+out+of+the+red+%2Caps%2C83&sr=8-1 Book a session with us!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

This episode with Dr. Michelle Roberts is about women, narcissistic abuse, why it happens, and how to heal from it (this is what she researched and practices today). It blew my mind, because I didn't even know that C-PTSD was a diagnosis, and what it meant.  It's SUPER significant in the dating world, and if you've had dating patterns, this episode will change them!  In this episode, we cover: How therapists are MISSING the C-PTSD diagnosis with their clients, and why How she became a crime journalist to doing groundbreaking work on narcissists, and women who are sucked into their lair How the ACES test will help you to define if you're at risk for C-PTSD The types of therapy that will HELP you to mitigate the C-PTSD What survivors struggle with the MOST How to stop gaslighting YOURSELF into staying in this relationship Understanding the HOOK that they have in you Knowing the BOTTOM line behaviors you can NOT accept Building your own sweet life & how to do that!   How to surround yourself with people that love you, and how NOT to isolate yourself!   If you'd like to book a session with us to get help with dating, click:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela If you'd like to sign up for our newsletter, click: https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Watch Bela's TEDx Talk with almost 100K views on "The Secret To Finding Lasting Love!"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIyvhq3zWLg Dr. Michelle Roberts - Bio Dr. Michelle Roberts is a psychotherapist, journalist, and professor. Her work focuses on the intersection of culture, relationships, and modern narcissism. She helps women break trauma cycles that keep them from becoming their whole, radiant selves.  Her ground-breaking research identified and focused on survivors for the very first time. But almost none had been diagnosed with this severe form of trauma.  In the only peer-reviewed survey of its kind, women who identify as narcissistic abuse survivors scored four times higher for the presence of childhood trauma than the average population. And nearly three out of four met the clinical criteria for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or C-PTSD.  Michelle has worked with more than 300 individual narcissistic abuse survivors to help them escape the often-unconscious patterns that keep them stuck in relational trauma cycles. With compassion and careful pacing, she helps them take deep plunges to the bottom of things.  

This episode was a gem-filled chat with Stephanie Mansour about "Building Your Confidence at Every Age and Size!" Stephanie Mansour is a nationally recognized Health & Fitness Expert and host of “Step It Up with Steph” on American Public Television. She is weight-loss coach for women. You can see her health, fitness, food, and lifestyle TV show on PBS stations across the country! Steph is also seen on Today Show, Dr. Oz, CNN, FOX and more. Steph reaches more than 52 million viewers per month. Stephanie is a certified personal trainer, Yoga instructor, Pilates instructor, professional life coach, and has her BA in Communications with an emphasis on Women's Studies and Psychology from the University of Michigan. Bela and Steph covered 10 different tips, including the five counter-intuitive ways to build your confidence, and five things you can do before a date to get yourself into a good physical/emotional state!  They both talk about their weight struggles, and give you TONS of tips for feeling & looking your personal best!  Listen for: Bela's secret personal affirmation to put on your mirror that will make you do the RIGHT thing! The best thing to eat before a date to make you feel your best! The 3 steps to great posture during a date to make you look/feel more attractive Steph's 60 second facial trick to making yourself happy How to connect deeply to your "why" - and how that keeps you motivated! Why flexibility is the key to a great health regime (even while dating) Why self-care is good for you, and sexy to others Join Steph for daily inspo on Instagram and in her new app, “Step It Up with Steph” full of daily challenges, workouts, recipes, and motivational exercises.  Sign up for the Smart Dating Academy newsletter by filling out any form at www.smartdatingacademy.com, and follow Bela on Instagram to get LIVE tips, Q&A and daily inspiration!   

How Rachel Went from Betrayal to Love - and got out of the "Drama Triangle!"   This week's episode is an amazing chat with serial entrepreneur Rachel Graham, about finding love & purpose after betrayal.  Rachel is the founder of Evolve and Transform, co-founder of Healing Springs Ranch, and has a beautiful love story that came after lots of bumps & bruises along the way.  She's so relatable, you'll want to listen to every word.  She will help you to see that we ALL have a role in betrayal, and how to step out of the 'drama triangle.'   Here are just a few gems that you will here in this episode: *The darkest moment where Rachel found her purpose, while her house was flooding *What HER contribution was (in her own words) to the betrayal she experienced.   *How she broke free of the victim mentality, and how we can ALL do that. *How to find the 'meaning' in any mess that's presented to you *How you can be the 'lotus flower in the muck' *Why you can't go around the pain *Why her boyfriend told her she's like Rapunzel (and you'll ALL relate to this) *How to live your life through 'scars' and not 'open wounds.'   *Why most relationships have a shelf life (and what to do at that point) *Her definition of rejection -- it's protection and redirection *How she found love and is SO happy now (YAY)!! *The Drama Triangle vs. The Empowerment Dynamic" - and how to switch from drama to empowerment To see photos of Rachel and her "Fly Guy" and the "Drama vs. Empowerment Triangles" as we promised in the episode, click here!! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/success-stories/rachel-graham Here's a link to get date coaching from Smart Dating Academy - www.smartdatingacademy.com To hear live advice, monthly, on Bela's Instagram Live show - www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy 

This episode taught me a lot about myself, and I hope it will do the same for you.  It will change you to think about your core values in a NEW way.    It'll inspire you to really think about yourself, who you are, and maybe what a better career is for you OR a better partner (there are TONS of similarities between job search and partner search)!   In this episode, I interview the inimitable Ashley Stahl (I watched her Ted talk and knew I had to interview her, stat).  Ashley Stahl is counterterrorism professional turned career coach and bestselling author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, and she's on a mission to help people get into a career they're excited about and aligned with. Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her online courses, her email list of 500,000 and her show, You Turn Podcast, she's been able to support clients in 31 countries in discovering their best career path, upgrading their confidence and landing more job offers.   Ashley is also single, out there in the dating world, and is very open about her dating life (and you know I LOVE that).  Here are just a few of the topics we cover this week!   Ashley tells people not to follow their passion. Why?  Amazing answers that NO one gives us. What was the moment that she knew that she was in the WRONG career at the Pentagon? She teaches us how you REALLY define what your core values are.  This was a mic drop moment for me. What are some myths that keep people stuck in their career and life, and how do we become more experimental? What were my 'dark years' in my life, and what were the two lists I made to find who i "am" and start Smart Dating Academy? How do you get into your masculine/feminine energy for dates? How do you get reconnected to yourself? Why 'backing up' doesn't mean 'backing down' in life If you'd like to read Ashley's book if you're considering a career pivot, here it is!   https://amzn.to/37325aL