Smart Dating Academy - The Podcast

Dr. Terri Orbuch is a renowned love researcher.  During this episode, she and Bela have an incredible chat that spans the biggest reasons for divorce, what makes for the happiest relationships, love vs. lust (how to tell which it is), and how to know if someone is 'the one.'   You will hear about:    Dr. Terri's NIH research project that has been following the same couples for over 30 years (how many couples divorced, and how many of them found love again - and this is super inspiring)! What is the #1 factor that leads singles to find love? What are some additional ways that singles can improve their odds of finding love – based on science? How does someone know if a relationship is the right one? The 4 keys ways to distinguish lust vs. love Why 'picking your battles' is usually the wrong strategy Why conflict is so important (what happened to the 12 couples that reported NO conflict) What you should do EVERY MORNING with your partner to maintain love (and it's not sex, lol) Your new book is called “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships.” Briefly – what is it about? What motivated you to write it? How to get over the HURT of infidelity or relationship trauma --  What conversations are most important for parents to have with their children? This episode is one you will want to listen to again, and again and again.   We certainly are! If you'd like to get our free newsletter, sign up at www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact If you don't already, follow us on Instagram, where we have GREAT videos and reels of the podcast segments!  Follow @smartdatingacademy  If you'd like to schedule a consultation, sign up https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela BIO:  Dr. Terri Orbuch (aka The Love Doctor®) is a world-renowned relationship expert, author, speaker, therapist and relationship coach, Distinguished Professor at Oakland University, Research Professor at University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, and media personality. She is also the director of a landmark study, funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), where she has been following the same couples for over 3 decades. Dr. Orbuch is widely published in scientific journals and the author of “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.” and “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.” Her latest book, “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships” was published in March 2022. Dr. Orbuch has been featured in such publications as, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Reader’s Digest, USA Today, Women’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and TIME magazine and has appeared on The Today Show, MSNBC, The Katie Couric Show, ESPN, HuffPost Live, and CNN. Her TEDx talk has over 2.8 million views.  For more information, please go to: DrTerriTheLoveDoctor.com.

Andrea Javor is just like you in so many ways.  She's beautiful, smart and successful (works in marketing AND as a divorce coach).  Andrea, like so many of us, had a broken picker.   Her parents are wonderful, and she's surrounded by love, but healthy romantic love had always eluded her.   She was divorced twice before she 'fixed her picker' and found love with Jason.  Listen to this sweet story, and you'll not only be inspired, but pick up LOTS of nuggets that she drops for you!   We will discuss: -- The message that Andrea wished she got from her parents while growing up -- Why she thought her first husband was IT, and how that QUICKLY unraveled. --How she embarked on a BIG self-healing and learning journey, and found so much love within herself... --How the years of therapy didn't fix her picker (oy) --What happened in her second marriage?  Why was it worse than the first? --When she knew she had to do something different --What she learned about HERSELF during date coaching -- and the root of her dating issues (spoiler alert--anxiety)... --How she did NOT settle, and how her man is "old-school normal" and awesome --How she met 'the one' and how we know this one is a KEEPER! She is incredibly happy, and I love sharing these stories of hope with YOU.  Please know that your time will COME to find love.  Remember, no matter who you are, if you want it, love will come to YOU! It's a when, not an IF! If you'd like to get our free newsletter, sign up at www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact If you don't already, follow us on Instagram, where we have GREAT videos and reels of the podcast segments!  Follow @smartdatingacademy  If you'd like to schedule a consultation, sign up https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Weight gain is something most of us have struggled with, or will struggle with at some point in our lives - whether we are male or female.   Is it just me, or does it seems harder with each year to keep it off?   In this episode, I chat with one of the most renowned physicians in the US, Dr. Lauren Streicher about why we gain weight (especially in mid-life & menopause), and HOW to get rid of it in a healthy way.   We are all beautiful as we are, and it is NOT necessary to have six pack abs or be a size 2 to find love.  What this episode will tell you is how to get to the BEST and healthiest version of you, because how you feel impacts everything relationship you're in (especially if you're dating or in a romantic one).   Here are just some of the topics we covered: 1) How does metabolism change throughout life?  This answer blew my mind, btw! 2) Why sleep is MORE important than ever in the 'battle of the bulge.' 3) Where the "muffin top" comes from, and why... 4) What men REALLY think about our thighs, butts, and cellulite (it's hilarious)... 5) What's the WORST type of fat to gain and why? 6) A great substitute for a date that keeps you healthy and happy! 7) How you can manage 'drinking' calories in a better way (I have started to do this, and it's magical)! 8) What you should offer to bring to a party and WHY it benefits you 9) Lauren's FAVORITE book for weight loss (listen to find out) If you loved this episode, please give it a review - we LOVE LOVE LOVE reading them, and if we can figure out who you are, we will send you a personal note back (you can email us through our website about your review at www.smartdatingacademy.com) If you're READY to find LOVE, schedule a consultation with us at www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact If you want more FREE tips, follow us on Instagram @smartdatingacademy   Bio:  Dr. Lauren Streicher is a top gynecologist, professor at Northwestern University, author of multiple books about women's health, and the host of the podcast "Dr. Streicher's Insider Info - The Menopause Podcast." Subscribe and Follow Dr. Streicher on  DrStreicher.com Instagram​@DrStreich Twitter​@DrStreicher Facebook​ @DrStreicher YouTube​ DrStreicherTV Books by Lauren Streicher, MD Hot Flash Hell: A Gynecologist's Guide to Turning Down the Heat Sex Rx- Hormones , Health, and Your Best Sex Ever The Essential Guide to Hysterectomy

What is Love Bombing vs. Love Seeking, and How Can You Take Control? In this amazingly informative episode, Bela and Dr. Katherine Helm discuss the VAST differences between a Love Bomber (bad) and a Love Seeker (good).  They address the following questions in depth: 1) What is love bombing? 2) Why is love bombing harmful? 3) What is the difference between a love bomber and someone who is romantic (a love seeker)? 4) What's the KEY step to know the difference between the two types? 5) What do love bombers want from you? 6) How do you know if you’ve been love bombed? 7) What should you do if you are in a relationship with a love bomber?  What signs existed in Netflix's Tinder Swindler?    8) What should healthy boundaries look like regarding romantic gestures early in a relationship? You will not be confused anymore after you hear this episode between a bomber and a seeker, and you'll know EXACTLY how to TAKE CONTROL of the situation!    BIO: Katherine Helm, PhD is a Professor of Psychology and Director of Graduate Programs in Counseling at Lewis University, Romeoville, IL.  She is also a practicing psychologist in part-time private where she sees individuals and couples.  Katherine has authored several publications about racial and cultural issues in mental health, couples’ issues, and pedagogy in multicultural courses and has an extensive background facilitating counselor trainings.  Katherine has had several media appearances on radio and video and is a TEDx speaker. She is a sought-after author, presenter, public speaker, professional trainer, and clinical supervisor.   If you love this episode, please rate, review and SHARE!! If you are INSPIRED to seek help with you love life, sign up for our newsletter at www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact  If you are REALLY INSPIRED to make changes, schedule a 1 hour consultation with Bela!   https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

This is a WONDERFUL episode where you will hear Bela FIREHOSE you with the 7 things you NEED to do this summer to find love!  This episode will educate you and INSPIRE the heck out of you - you'll want to RACE onto the dating scene armed with these 7 things!!   7 Things you NEED For Summer Love!! 1)    Get Psychotically Optimistic about Love and that you WILL Find Love!!   Get rid of the cobwebs and monkey mindsets that keep you stuck (and Bela will explain an easy trick on how to do this)! 2)    Deep Dive into Yourself – Fix Your Picker!  Oof - this is a biggie.  Look at your relationship history, and know that the common denominator is YOU.  Are you chronically picking the wrong people that ghost, cheat, or bore you?    3)    Build Your Dating Funnel – Think of your dating life as you would a "horse race" where you are the PRIZE!!!   She explains how and why to do this! 4)    Start Online Dating the Right Way  5)    Have a Daily Dating Routine – Doing something daily is great, and Bela explains her tried and true way that clients master this!!    6)    Don’t Skip Video Dates!  She gives you compelling reasons why you should NEVER skip video! 7)    Plan Fun Dates that are side to side!   Spoiler alert - you will have more interesting conversations AND build ATTRACTION!!    If you love this episode, please rate, review and SHARE!! If you are INSPIRED to seek help with you love life, sign up for our newsletter at www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact  If you are REALLY INSPIRED to make changes, schedule a 1 hour consultation with Bela!   https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Arielle Ford is a love and relationship expert, and a leading personality in the personal growth space - she's been a pal of Bela's for many years.   This episode is FILLED with answers to questions that have been wrestled with for centuries, and they break it down for you step by step: 1) What is LOVE?  (Spoiler Alert - Bela and Arielle are in 100% agreement about the definition)!  And, Bela discloses the book that made her understand love back in college....Curious?  :) 2) What is the unknown secret to relationship success everyone needs to know? 3) Why you should wear "rose colored" glasses when it comes to seeing each other (or, use Dr. Laura's "defense attorney" trick we talk about in detail)! 4) Why we must learn to be personally responsible for our own happiness in life and especially in relationships.... 5) The universal law that can be sued to find your soulmate 6) How Arielle met her soulmate (an amazing story that started with a dream)! 7) Does everyone have a soulmate and how many can you have in a lifetime? You will LOVE the gems in here -- and if you do, and you're READY to find love, we are here for you! Click www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy

Silvia Foti is an amazing woman, author, high-school English teacher, and a client of Smart Dating Academy who found love.  Silvia was willing to share her inspiring story with all of YOU to show you that love is possible under even the toughest of circumstances.   Silvia was married for 35 years.  Her mother died when Silvia was 38 years old, and her last wish on her deathbed was that Silvia finish her book, documenting her grandfather’s heroic military career in Lithuania.  What Silvia discovered is that her ‘heroic’ grandfather was anything but that – he was helping Hitler exterminate thousands of Lithuanian Jews.  It took Silvia ten years to process the grief of this – and another ten to write the book (which has brought death threats from around the world).  Her daughter overdosed and passed away at the age of 21 in 2016.  In 2019, her husband blindsided her with a divorce.   Listen to this story of amazing perseverance, cleverness, and heart of how Silvia found her “federal agent” love – how they waited 15 dates for….you know….and how in LOVE they are today.  He travels with her supporting HER career and book, and went at HER pace, showing her that a man that wants to be with you will move MOUNTAINS to be with you.   Here are some gems you'll hear! ·       What is the Smart Dating Academy 15 date rule??  ·       How she felt when she got online (and got new pictures/profile)?   ·       What happened when she ‘launched’ her profile on November 3rd?   ·       How Ilene helped her get out of the ‘pen-pal’ phase… ·       What he brought her on the first date… ·       What he brought her on the SECOND date, and what she sprung on HIM! ·       Why the way he held her hand almost caused her to end it ·       What he said when she said she wanted to wait “15 dates” (one of the BEST moments of the show)! ·       How they've now spent over 1,000 hours together, and how in love they are…. Here is a link to book your consultation with Smart Dating Academy if you are READY to find love in 2022!  https://bit.ly/3vIWY9n Here is a link to buy Silvia’s AMAZING book:  https://amzn.to/3N8CT2r

This episode is something you have ASKED FOR!   Flirting, building charisma & confidence is something we ALL want to get better at - whether we are single or coupled!   I brought on one of my favorite experts, Kimmy Seltzer, who is a confidence therapist, flirting wingwoman and personal stylist.  There is something for EVERYONE in this episode - woman or man!    What is the magic formula, The Charisma Quotient and how do you use it to build a sexy confidence? What is the 'outside-in' approach?    Why does everyone (including men!) need a red dress moment?  What was Kimmy's (and it has to do with Birkenstock's and nursing bras)....   What is the biggest style mistake men make?  And women?  What are the 3 Cs for style makeovers? Why is flirting such an important part of dating and being irresistible? HOW can you flirt, especially if you're shy?    What is a flirting move you can start TODAY?    How do you take the fear out of flirting & rejection? How did Bela's client who went to Harvard change her approach -- which led to her marriage?  :) What are the best conversation starters to make a chat feel FUN?   What are the common mistakes women make when it comes to flirting and being in their feminine?  Men? You'll love this episode -- I certainly did!   If you did, rate it, write us a love note, and SHARE with your networks!  We LOVE that, and will do a coaching giveaway for people who write reviews!    If you want to hear more from us, click here to join our free newsletter database!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact If you're ready to find love and schedule a session with us, click here to invest in a session that will change your life!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela If you want Kimmy's free gift, click www.kimmyseltzer.com  Kimmy's Bio:  Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Image Expert.  With a vat of knowledge and experience as a therapist, certified style coach, dating coach, and matchmaker, she has helped people find lasting love and connection, attract success and build valuable relationships using her unique “confidence makeover” process. Using an outside-in approach, Kimmy implements targeted style, emotional and social intelligence in people’s lives using her signature formula, “The Charisma Quotient,” working on body language, first impressions, image/wardrobe and flirting and how it impacts attraction. This Los Angeles-based expert travels the country helping people discover confidence, charisma and connection as a speaker at National Matchmaking Conferences, eHarmony, Neutrogena, The Guild at Universal, UCLA and iDate. Kimmy is also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post with appearances in Cosmopolitan, Oprah Magazine, Redbook, Reader’s Digest, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Yahoo and the Washington Examiner, among a myriad of other publications. Kimmy has been the leading love expert on the traveling live dating show The Great Love Debate, a show on Amazon Live with SwayTv, Kimmy’s Love Hub and the cable reality series, The Romance. You can also listen to her on her podcast, The Charisma Quotient and regular Ask Kimmy segments on the Chaz and AJ Morning Show on 99.1 PLR and 95.9 The Fox.

This conversation covers AMAZING gems, including: --3 Myths About Men (these are awesome, and have to do with 'the chase', sex, and feelings) --The differences between men's & women's brains (I about passed out when I learned this - it makes COMPLETE sense) --The AWESOME four communication archetypes (are you a lioness, puppy, koala bear or scorpion)? --How to get men to HEAR you (and it doesn't have to do with raising your voice)! --What are some quick communication tips that women can use in challenging situations with men?    --How to get men or anyone to help you (it's called the 'appreciation' sandwich) --The ONE simple daily practice to stay in balance --How we can tell if our lives are OUT of alignment (and how that affects our dating lives)--Why 'going hard' is BAD for a relationship --What 'coming from a place of love' can do to blossom your love for EVERYONE in your life.  Sandy Weiner, Bela's guest, is the founder of Last First Date, is a TEDx speaker, relationship coach, author and podcast host.    Sandy's communication archetype quiz is here:  https://lastfirstdate.com/4-communication-archetypes/#sthash.HVO24czW.dpbs For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter!   https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/

This episode is AMAZING with Rachel Zar, renowned sex and relationship therapist.   We discussed ALL of the things you need to know - and make sure you don't have little ears around you while listening to this!   1) WHEN is the right time to have sex? 2) If you've had sex with someone, is it advisable / necessary to have sex every time? 3) What's the thing that causes the BEST sex, always? 4) What is the right thing to do with "hair down there"?? 5) How do you get to know your own body? 6) If the sex isn't good the first time, what should you do? 7) We don't want men to be inexperienced, but don't want them to have 'hooked up' with too many women?  What gives? 8) When to talk about STI's? 9) What we should be focusing on during sex (hint - it's not just orgasm)! Listen to this episode, and if you love it (you WILL), please please write a review (it's worth it's weight in gold)!   Share with friends as well! If this episode has inspired you to get back into the dating world, and your profile & photos need an overhaul, join our "Online Dating Love Lab" Zoom workshop on April 24th, from 1pm-4pm CST!  Go to: www.smartdatingacademy.com/the-online-dating-love-lab to JOIN!   Spots are LIMITED! If you want to watch Bela's TEDx talk about the "Secret to Finding Lasting Love", click here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIyvhq3zWLg&t=48s Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist who specializes in relationship and sex therapy. Rachel sees clients at Spark Chicago Therapy and at The Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at Northwestern Hospital.