Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer discusses men's sexuality in LDS culture, emphasizing positive views on masculinity and intimacy. Topics include masculine/feminine energies, sex/morality, emotional connection challenges, and the impact of pornography on relationships.

Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses the loss of attraction in marriage due to habituation, boredom, and resentment, and offers advice on fostering attraction through gratitude, appreciation, and novelty. Topics include handling self-destructive habits, disappointment in appearance, unappealing personalities, and apathy towards health/hygiene.

In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Julie Hanks to discuss her dissertation research, the ways that church culture has shaped women's sexuality, and how women can create a healthier relationship with desire, embodiment, and sexuality (no matter what stage of life they are in). Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The importance of agency and self-definition in sexual relationships * Characteristics of fulfilling sexual relationships * Balancing personal desires with cultural expectations *The relationship between agency and desire * Encouraging self-definition in our children * The effects of childhood sexual abuse on adult sexuality If you would like to learn more about these topics, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course for women! You can watch the video of this conversation HERE.

It’s tempting for us to use our children’s successes or failures to measure OUR success as parents. But tangling ourselves up with our children this way is not only a recipe for disappointment and frustration (on both sides), it also stands in the way of REALLY loving and accepting our children for who they are. The sooner we recognize how little control we actually have over our children, the sooner we can let go of the fantasy that they prove or disprove our sufficiency (and the sooner we can get to work ACTUALLY loving them). To love our children is to see and value them for the unique individuals they are and offer our best to them. As humbling and refining of a practice parenting is, it is even more so for those who face the unique challenges and gifts of raising a child with special needs. In this NEW episode of Navigating the Spectrum, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Michelle Portlock to discuss her personal experience with parenting a neurodivergent child. The discussion covers the importance of compassion (for yourself, your spouse, your child, and your circumstances), and thoughts about how parents can work together to reduce anxiety / stress, improve communication, and foster a nurturing, supportive relationship with each other and their child(ren). **You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk To Your Kids About Sex Course HERE**

Delve into the allure of emotional affairs and the impact on relationships. Discuss intimacy avoidance, self-deception, and trustworthiness. Explore boundaries, validation-seeking behaviors, and the complexities of healing after betrayal. Learn about the importance of honesty and true intimacy in safeguarding against emotional infidelity.

Teens' screen time impact on relationships and brain development discussed. Balancing technology use for growth and connection is crucial. Empowering teens to make wise decisions by facilitating self-authoring. Importance of educating children about pornography and sexuality in a healthy manner.

Explore the powerful emotions of regret, remorse, and resentment and how they shape personal growth. Discover how embracing mistakes can lead to wisdom and self-compassion. Delve into the journey of forgiveness and the significance of confronting thought patterns. Understand the balance between trust and forgiveness in relationships. Learn practical strategies for dealing with disappointment and enhancing relationship strength. This discussion offers valuable insights for navigating life’s challenges and fostering resilience.

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, shares insights on creating healthier partnerships amidst parenting challenges. She discusses the impact of ego on collaboration and highlights the importance of self-validation over seeking external approval. The conversation delves into navigating resentment, improving communication, and practicing gratitude. Additionally, she offers guidance on discussing sexuality with children, emphasizing the need for an open and supportive environment.

TJ and Ashley’s story is a familiar one for many.  Their marriage started out happily enough. They were young college students and enjoyed each other a lot during their first few years together. But things changed when TJ started graduate school during an economic downturn. TJ felt a tremendous amount of anxiety about his financial future, given the dim prospects for most students at the time. Competition was fierce and in TJ’s determination to ensure his family’s economic stability, he dedicated himself to his studies, leaving little time or emotional bandwidth for anything else, including Ashley. This period of limited connection was difficult for Ashley, and it persisted long after graduate school and into TJ’s high-demand career. While disappointed at first, eventually Ashley shifted her focus away from the marriage and created a comfortable, happy, and fulfilling life as a friend and mother.  To the outsider, TJ and Ashley’s relationship may look idyllic–TJ excelling professionally, Ashley busily involved with friends and her community, both invested and caring parents– but their marriage is much more brittle than meets the eye. Resentment and hostility have been simmering under the surface for more than a decade with TJ feeling unappreciated and unacknowledged for the sacrifices he has made to provide for his family and Ashley feeling neglected and unnoticed (except when TJ is wanting sexual attention). In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps the couple think through the long term trajectory of their marriage and how they are undermining their current and future happiness by functioning in such a non-collaborative way. She helps Ashley see the rejection that permeates her interactions with TJ and teaches that the path forward is to stop walling and avoiding and to start looking honestly at herself, her real desires for the relationship, and her role in the lack of intimacy in the marriage. Be sure to subscribe to Room for Two TODAY to listen to the full episode! 

Exploring the role of self-honesty and self-definition in personal growth, relationships, and body acceptance. Embracing discomfort for self-improvement, transitioning from external validation to internal validation. Navigating truth in relationships, balancing criticism and self-acceptance. Encouraging self-acceptance, personal growth, and aligning decisions with authentic self for transformative change.