Dr. Adam Miller, a professor of philosophy, joins Dr. Finlayson-Fife for a thought-provoking conversation on love, loss, and living life on life's terms. They discuss topics such as love as an action, the connection between courage and love, the intersection of love, intimacy, and spirituality, the unmasking power of sex, and the challenges of self-love and understanding.

Bumping up against the limits of our time, energy, and resources is one of life’s greatest frustrations. As noble as our intentions and aspirations may be, we all are forced to prioritize how we will spend our finite time and resources in the face of limitless demands and opportunities. Recognizing our personal and professional limitations and being deliberate in the choices we make, allows us to bring our best selves to our careers, families, and lives in general. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Dave and Ashley of the On Call with Dr. Dave podcast to talk through the impact of high-demand careers on relationships and the important role that self-awareness, honest communication, and conscious choosing play in keeping resentment and entitlement at bay. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Collaboration and partnership Important factors to discuss before pursuing a high-demand career while in a relationship Combating entitlement and resentment  Keeping play and eroticism alive in marriage  **Click HERE to learn more about Room for Two!**

The podcast explores the integration of spirituality and sexuality from an LDS theological perspective. It discusses the stages of development and how they shape our views on ourselves, sexuality, and God. Topics include self-acceptance, celibacy, parenting, and the impact of messages on spirituality and sexuality.

In this recent Facebook Live, Zach and Darcy Spafford of the Thrive Beyond Pornography podcast joined Dr. Finlayson-Fife to share their personal experience working through unwanted pornography use in their marriage and how after years of feeling stuck and frustrated, they were able to shift gears and make meaningful, lasting progress in their relationship to pornography and their relationship to each other. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Self-authoring and the importance of claiming your life and choices The problem with compliance/defiance framing Role-based marriage vs choice-based marriage Eroticism in marriage  Approaching difficult conversations with curiosity A recording of this conversation is also available on our YouTube channel. 

Our bodies and our ability to experience love and joy through them are loving gifts from a loving God. Sometimes we teach important principles like modesty and chastity in ways that promote an entirely different idea–in ways that imply that our bodies and sexuality are burdens to be overcome and obstacles to our spirituality. It can also be tempting to overcorrect for this body-shaming stance and see modesty as simply an effort to suppress sexuality and dignity (of women, in particular). Both of these extremes are simple-minded and unhelpful. A truer understanding of modesty takes into account the value of moderation, self-respect, and how these are related to our choices. In this NEW podcast episode, I join Aubrey and Tim Chaves from the Faith Matters podcast to talk about modesty and how we can relate to and cherish our bodies so as to experience deeply embodied joy through them. Listen to the full episode to learn more about:  Problematic understandings of modesty Why modesty is such a culturally charged topic Sexual self-mastery Healthy ways to talk to youth about modesty and sexuality Stages of moral development The gift of sexual conservatism

Triangulation in relationships is discussed in this podcast, exploring how it brings stability but can also be unhealthy. The negative impact of triangulation on children and marriages is explored, along with the roles parents can take on in triangulated relationships. The podcast also delves into recognizing and addressing anxieties in children, dysfunctional relationship dynamics, the effects of triangulation on sexual experiences and relationships, and the impact of psychological enmeshment on intimacy and desire.

When a marriage crumbles, we see a life we once hoped for crumble along with it.   It’s a crisis in every sense. And crises hurt. They are disorganizing and challenge our sense of who we are. But, as painful as crisis is, we can use it to grow. When our current understanding of ourselves or others crumbles, we can use the pain to grow into more wisdom and a more solid self. In this NEW podcast episode [“Differentiation and Divorce”], Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Hyo North of the Leading With Grace podcast to talk about how differentiation can help those working through the complexities of separation or divorce navigate forward with wisdom and maturity. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Separation and divorce * Collusive alliances and how they keep us stuck  * Differentiation as it relates to divorce * Forgiveness   * Forging capacity in the face of crisis 

It’s one thing to learn about differentiation and emotional maturity, but it’s another thing entirely to actually live it.  Stepping into the deep anxiety and uncertainty of defining a self that others may not validate is a terrifying prospect, but it’s what must be done for people and relationships to evolve and grow.  In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rhonda Farr to talk through two listener questions about desire dynamics and how to navigate the painful reality of having a spouse who is not interested in creating a better sexual relationship.  During this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife expertly models how the higher desire partner can maturely handle themselves in difficult and productive conversations about sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Desire Dynamics -Duty Sex -Differentiation -Emotional and Sexual Maturity  If you found this episode helpful, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Course. This course was designed to help couples better understand and navigate the challenges in their intimate relationship. 

When being true to ourselves jeopardizes belonging to our group, it can be tempting to live falsely in an attempt to keep others happy with us. Yet we cannot be at peace when we chronically mask who we really are. All of us are caught in some amount of tension between who we are and the expectations imposed upon us by our social groups. But those who are sexually diverse can face a much larger disparity between group norms and their personal reality, which can present unique and painful challenges. In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sadi Rogers of Lift + Love to discuss the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and the opportunity in the struggle to forge deeper self-acceptance and sustaining inner strength. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Healthy ways to address the discrepancy between societal norms and divergent realities  Finding peace in painful circumstances  How love is the pathway to truth How to communicate effectively with those who believe differently  Stages of spiritual development  Navigating mixed-orientation marriages  Grief and loss as inherent to life  The silver lining that comes from not fitting the mold of a group 

Zack and Kelly’s marriage has been a relatively untroubled one. That is until last year, when Zack disclosed to Kelly that he had been viewing pornography off and on since childhood. Kelly’s distress from the disclosure came not so much because Zack had been viewing porn, but because he had managed to keep this from her despite her having asked him explicitly about it over the years. Learning that he was capable of deceiving her in this way was completely and understandably disorganizing for Kelly. A year into it, they now see clearly that their previously cordial relationship was actually the result of a lot of validation-seeking, masking, and caretaking. Their relationship post-disclosure has been much more tumultuous–with higher highs and lower lows than they could have previously imagined. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Zack and Kelly to get a better understanding of their history and helps them see how their upbringing has impacted their past and current marital dynamic. Be sure to subscribe to Room for Two TODAY to listen to the full episode!