Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Sexuality is an important part of our spiritual and relational lives—but for many Latter-day Saints, it’s also a source of confusion and anxiety.  In this new episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kurt Francom of the Leading Saints podcast to talk about how church leaders can best support their congregation in matters of sexuality—not by avoiding the topic or using fear-based messaging, but by offering a more hopeful, honest, and empowering vision of how our God-given sexuality can bless and enrich our lives.  Listen to the full episode to learn more about: What healthy leadership around sexuality can look like Why fear and shame don’t help people make better choices How to talk with youth in ways that build confidence and self-respect How healthy sexuality strengthens faith, integrity, and intimacy

Our sexual thoughts can be unruly and strange—but sharing these unique parts of ourselves with a spouse can be a powerful way to build intimacy and connection. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer answers questions from our Facebook Group about the role of fantasy in long-term relationships. She explores why fantasy often feels taboo, and how—when grounded in morality and friendship—it can become a meaningful tool for strengthening intimacy and deepening connection.

In this thought-provoking discussion, Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, sheds light on the often-misunderstood Divine Feminine. She challenges the misconception that femininity equals weakness, instead celebrating the resilience and nurturing qualities that strengthen relationships and communities. With insights drawn from personal stories, she emphasizes the importance of balance between feminine and masculine energies, and how embracing one's femininity can lead to deeper emotional connections and personal growth.

David has been battling a pornography compulsion for much of his life. He’s read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined the groups, and tried every program he could find. But despite his best efforts, his behavior continues. The repeated use—and the cycle of disclosure that follows—has taken a toll on their marriage.  David is upfront when he slips—but this is in the form of turning to Alexa for forgiveness and reassurance. When Alexa distances following his disclosure, he often grows impatient. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with David and Alexa to better understand what’s keeping them stuck. She offers David a new perspective—that he would benefit from acknowledging the part of him that wants the escape of pornography, and that until he confronts that reality, genuine change will remain out of reach. Subscribe to Room for Two to listen to the FULL episode (and the rest of the David and Alexa series) 

Many people long for more ease and passion in their sexual relationship—but unknowingly bring meanings to sex that interfere with both. When sex becomes a duty to fulfill, a performance to manage, or a tool to reassure a partner, it loses the very energy that makes it feel alive. The pressure to produce intimacy, validation, or an orgasm can quietly unravel the conditions that desire needs in order to thrive. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her audience to unpack why so many of us struggle to feel ease and desire in our sexual relationship—and what we can do to can create a more soulful and passionate connection with our partner. ___ Join us for the Art of Desire Workshop in Gilbert, Arizona next week! Use code DESIRE to SAVE $100

It's hard to know how to address doubts, concerns, or frustrations about the church, especially because we tend to link "goodness" with being unquestioning.   Many worry that sharing their experiences or voicing their concerns will be misconstrued as a lack of faith or a full rejection of the gospel. The temptation is to stay silent in an effort to preserve harmony—or to speak up but in ways that ultimately shut down understanding, but neither of these approaches allow for the type of meaningful conversations that are requisite for creating positive change. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amy Watkins Jensen of Women on the Stand to discuss how women can engage in meaningful and honest conversations about their experiences in the Church and how daring to do so is what will allow us to create more honest and inclusive faith communities. ___  Join Dr. Finlayson-Fife in Arizona for the Art of Desire Workshop! Click HERE and use code DESIRE to SAVE $100

When sex feels like an obligation rather than a choice, it erodes intimacy, fosters resentment, and leaves partners feeling distant and disconnected. In this powerful Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores the complexities of "duty sex" including what drives it and the detrimental impact it has on relationships. She discusses the powerful meanings we attach to sex, and how these meanings can either undermine desire by creating a sense of obligation or foster connection through choice and mutual desire. She offers insight into how both higher and lower-desire partners can step away from patterns of pressure and compliance and cultivate a more fulfilling sexual relationship built on mutual desire, authentic connection, and a sense of being truly chosen.  

In this discussion, Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, challenges the cultural narratives that compel women to suppress their sexuality for spiritual acceptance. She emphasizes the need for women to reclaim their sexual identity and desires, which can enhance connection in relationships. They delve into the impact of menopause, societal pressures, and how embracing sexuality promotes self-respect, ultimately offering a roadmap for women to achieve fulfillment in love and intimacy.

Dan and Marie were happy enough in their marriage, until they started listening to Room for Two. Listening to the Dave and Carly series woke them up to the fact that even though their marriage was peaceful and good, it wasn’t as honest as they had believed it to be, and they wanted to create something better. So they got to work – listened to podcasts, worked through courses, and even attended a couples’ workshop. Their efforts to bring more honesty and authenticity to the marriage paid off and they caught occasional glimpses of what their relationship was really capable of, but... old habits die hard, and despite the progress, they often find themselves slipping into their familiar pattern of trying to manage how they are seen and experienced, which leaves their sexual engagement feeling lackluster and “vanilla.” In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Jennifer works with Dan and Marie to help them better understand what their intimate relationship is exposing about their relational dynamic, and how honesty and authenticity will open the door for them to create the spark and passion that they long for. Want to hear the FULL episode? Subscribe to Room for Two and gain immediate access to this and over 100 other full-length Room for Two episodes!

A woman's arousal is highly connected to her sense of freedom in her relationship. Yet so many of us create relational realities where women don't feel free — where sex is about managing a spouse's sense of self or "needs." In this mindset sex becomes another job to do. And as Esther Perel says, "sex can be work or play, but it cannot be both." When you create a relationship with your spouse where you feel free to be who you are, free from managing their sense of self, and free to show your strength, sex becomes a place you want to be —a place of ease. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions about female arousal and orgasm. She discusses the impact of societal and personal beliefs on women's sexual experiences, the connection between emotional freedom and sexual well-being, and offers practical advice for overcoming common challenges women face such as performance anxiety, self-judgment, and the aftermath of sexual trauma. To learn more about this topic, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course! Or, better yet, join us for one of our upcoming Art of Desire Events!