Conversations with Dr. Jennifer Understanding Sexual Shame
Nov 18, 2025
Jennifer Finlayson-Fyfe, a clinical psychologist and author specializing in relationships and sexuality, breaks down the origins of sexual shame. She explains how childhood experiences shape our desires and often distort our self-perception. Toxic shame can hinder intimacy, while healthy shame can motivate growth. Jennifer emphasizes the importance of integrating sexuality positively and fostering open, shame-free dialogues with children. She also explores how spiritual and sexual experiences can intertwine, advocating for self-compassion and acceptance.
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Childhood Guilt From Letting A Kitten Out
- Jennifer told a childhood story about letting a kitten out that led to long-lasting guilt despite no punishment.
- The memory still evokes compassion and illustrates how early events imprint shame.
Shame Is A Useful But Dangerous Signal
- Shame is a natural social emotion that helps us self-regulate and stay relationally responsible.
- Toxic shame happens when we turn mistakes into global worthlessness and it cripples our capacity to love and choose.
Sexuality Is Deeply Vulnerable And Often Projected
- Sexuality is a vulnerable part of being human that many struggle to integrate into identity.
- People often project their anxieties about sexuality onto God or religion, worsening shame.
