Conversations with Dr. Jennifer When Good Women Stop Being Nice
Jan 20, 2026
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, dives into the pitfalls of being too nice. She distinguishes between compliance and genuine goodness, highlighting how prioritizing others' comfort can harm our relationships. Jennifer explores the impact of enmeshment in parenting and the importance of reclaiming our agency through understanding resentment. Plus, she shares insights on balancing ambition with motherhood and the power of authenticity in marriage.
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Good Versus Compliant
- Many people confuse being good with being compliant, trading honesty for belonging.
- Jennifer Finlayson-Fife argues adulthood requires choosing what you believe is right, not merely pleasing others.
Hold Limits Despite Discomfort
- Don't cave to a teenager's anger if the limit serves their growth.
- Prioritize integrity over immediate comfort to avoid long-term resentment.
Enmeshment Undermines Growth
- Enmeshment ties your identity to another's feelings and hinders wise parenting.
- Healthy parenting moves toward making yourself unnecessary as children gain autonomy.
