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The Art of Manliness

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Jul 6, 2022 • 53min

Building a Second Brain

In the modern age, people are bombarded with more information, and are more personally responsible for managing that information, than ever before. How do you stay on top of your schedule, work responsibilities, financial obligations, and the spigot of media that runs full force 24/7 while not only avoiding becoming overwhelmed, but actually using all that information to generate better ideas, advance your career, and generally improve your life?My guest would say that the answer lies in having a mind outside your mind. His name is Tiago Forte and he's the author of Building a Second Brain: A Proven Method to Organize Your Digital Life and Unlock Your Creative Potential. Today on the show, Tiago explains how a Second Brain is an external resource where you can store all of the most valuable checklists, thoughts, notes, ideas, and insights you acquire and generate. He explains how the Second Brain supercharges the historical practice of keeping a commonplace book, and how it improves your productivity and well-being by getting stuff out of your head, off your bandwidth, and into a place where you can actually put it to use. Tiago then walks us through this system of "Personal Knowledge Management," including the tools you can use to capture information, the question to ask yourself to decide what to capture, and why he recommends organizing what you capture around action instead of subject. And Tiago explains how the ultimate goal of having a Second Brain is to take what you put into this treasury and synthesize it into better ways to live, think, act, and express yourself.Resources Related to the PodcastCommonplace booksAoM Article: The Man Book — Creating a Reservoir of Timeless WisdomTiago's YouTube series on choosing a digital notes appDigital note-taking apps mentioned in the show:EvernoteNotionObsidian Google KeepMicrosoft OneNotePocket — an article-saving appTiago's blog post on his "PARA" organization systemConnect With Tiago ForteTiago's WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors. 
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Jul 4, 2022 • 45min

What It's Like to Spend a Year in Space

In March of this year, Mark Vande Hei returned to earth after spending 355 days in outer space. Today on the show, I talk to Mark about what it was like to spend nearly a year in orbit, and how he ended up setting a new record for the longest spaceflight by an American astronaut. We first talk about how Mark went from being a soldier in the Army who served twice in Iraq, to working for NASA. Mark explains the application process for becoming an astronaut and what he thought were the hardest parts of his training. He then shares how you exercise in space, what a typical work day on the International Space Station is like, and how it feels to do a space walk. I ask Mark whether he was worried when the Russians threatened to abandon him in space, whether life on the space station is hard on morale, what it's like physically to return to earth, and whether there's a letdown when it's time to hang up your astronaut pack.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #654: How to AstronautUnited States Army Space and Missile Defense CommandVideo of Mark's time in spaceConnect With Mark Vande HeiMark on TwitterMark on LinkedInListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.Transcript Coming Soon
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Jun 29, 2022 • 44min

How to Make a Good Argument

Whenever you get into an argument, whether you're discussing politics with a colleague or the distribution of chores with your spouse, you likely feel like you're floundering. You feel worked up, but you don't feel like you're getting your point across, much less convincing the other person of it, and the conversation simply goes in circles. You can feel like a rank amateur at arguing.Maybe what you need are some pro tips from someone who's spent his life arguing competitively. Enter my guest: Bo Seo. Bo is a two-time world champion debater, a former coach of the Australian national debating team and the Harvard College Debating Union, and the author of Good Arguments: How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard. Today on the show, Bo and I discuss why learning the art of rhetoric and debate was once an integral part of education in the West, why the subject disappeared from schools, and the loss this has represented for society. We then turn to the lessons Bo's taken from his debating career that you can apply to your own everyday arguments, whether big or small. Bo explains why it's important to establish what an argument is really about before you start into it, and shares a rubric for homing in on which of three types of disagreements may be at the core of a conflict. He then explains two things a strong argument has to do, and four questions to ask yourself to see if you’ve met these requirements. Bo also unpacks his three P's for creating persuasive rhetoric and how to effectively rebut someone else’s claims. We end our conversation with how to determine when it’s worth getting into a particular argument and when it's better to walk away.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM series on Rhetoric 101The Winston Churchill Guide to Public SpeakingThe Art of Rhetoric by AristotleAoM Podcast #639: Why You Should Learn the Lost Art of RhetoricAoM Podcast #799: Getting Along Is OverratedConnect With Bo SeoBo's Website
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Jun 27, 2022 • 57min

The Fascinating Life of America's Forgotten Founding Father

The 18th century doctor, civic leader, and renaissance man Benjamin Rush was one of the youngest signers of the Declaration of Independence, edited and named Thomas Paine's Common Sense, implemented medical practices that helped the Continental Army win the Revolutionary War, made sure Benjamin Franklin attended the Constitutional Convention, and shaped the medical and political landscape of the newly formed United States.Yet despite his outsized influence, the varied and interesting life he led, and the close relationships he had with other founding fathers like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams, Rush is hardly remembered today. That's because of just how close his relationship with those other founders was. Rush was a personal physician to them and their families, and after his death, they suppressed his legacy, not wanting the intimate and unflattering details he had recorded in his letters and journals to be publicized. In fact, his memoir was considered too dangerous to be published and wasn't found for nearly 150 years.My guest will re-introduce us to this forgotten figure. His name is Stephen Fried, and he's the author of Rush: Revolution, Madness, and Benjamin Rush, the Visionary Doctor Who Became a Founding Father. Today on the show, Stephen takes us through Rush's fascinating life, from his self-made rise out of inauspicious childhood, to how he was able to reconcile an estranged Jefferson and Adams before his death, and what Stephen has learned from studying a character who lived through very fraught and not totally unfamiliar times.
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Jun 22, 2022 • 51min

How to Develop Greater Self-Awareness

95% of people say that they're self-aware. But only 10-15% of people actually are. As my guest today says, that means "on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves about how much we're lying to ourselves" and this blind spot can have big repercussions for our success and happiness. Her name is Tasha Eurich, and she's an organizational psychologist and the author of Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. Tasha kicks off our conversation by arguing that our level of self-awareness sets the upper limit of our individual effectiveness and that self-awareness can be developed and is truly the meta skill of the 21st century. She then unpacks what it is you know about yourself when you possess self-awareness, how there are two types of this knowledge, internal and external, and how you can have one without the other. Tasha then outlines the seven pillars of self-awareness, the barriers to getting insights into them --  including falling into the cult of self -- and how these barriers can be overcome, including asking yourself a daily check-in question. We then discuss how two of the most common methods for gaining self-knowledge -- introspection and journaling -- can in fact backfire and how to do them more effectively by asking yourself what instead of why, and actually journaling less instead of more. We also get into why you should be an in-former, rather than a me-former on social media, how to become more mindful without meditation, and how to solicit and handle feedback from other people, including holding something called the "Dinner of Truth."If reading this in an email, click the title of the post to listen to the show.Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in PodcastThe Science of InsightsHow to Get More "Aha" InsightsDefine Your Core Values7 Habits of Highly Effective PeopleYou Need a Reset DayGet Out of Your Mind and Into Your LifeWhy I Stopped Journaling4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing OutHow to Get Better at Taking FeedbackInsight QuizConnect With TashaTasha's websiteTasha on TwitterListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!) 
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Jun 20, 2022 • 49min

Chef-Vetted Answers to Your Cooking FAQs

In your quest to become a better home chef, you probably find yourself wondering things like: What potato should I use in this recipe? How much salt should I put in this dish? Am I even making spaghetti right? But then you forget to Google the answer to your question, or if you do, you feel overwhelmed by the number of opinions out there.Well, my guest will cut through that noise and answer some of your cooking FAQs once and for all. His name is Daniel Holzman and he's a chef and the co-author, along with Matt Rodbard, of Food IQ: 100 Questions, Answers, and Recipes to Raise Your Cooking Smarts. Today on the show, Daniel will offer his advice on whether the kind of onion and potato you use in a recipe matters, and whether it's okay to use frozen vegetables. He explains why you should be less worried about getting foodborne illnesses from meat, and the type of food that's more likely to make you sick. Daniel offers the lowdown on salt, including how to figure out exactly how much you need in a dish; when to use the convection bake function on your oven; his recommendations for the best frying pan and chef's knife; the secrets to making perfect spaghetti, scrambled eggs, and steak; and plenty of other tips as well.Resources Related to the PodcastDaniel's restaurants:The Meatball ShopDanny Boy's Famous Original PizzaAoM Article: The Best Way to Salt MeatAll-Clad 10-Inch Frying PanWusthof Classic 10" Chef's KnifeVictorinox 8" Chef's KnifeAoM Article: Cooking With Cast IronVideo of Daniel Making Honey Boo Boo's "Sketti"AoM Article: How to Make James Bond Scrambled EggsAoM Article: Grilling the Perfect SteakConnect with Daniel HolzmanFood IQ WebsiteDaniel on TwitterDaniel on IG
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Jun 16, 2022 • 57min

The Secrets to Booking Cheap Flights

Travel can offer a lot of good: memory-making adventure, mind-expanding experiences, and plenty of fun and relaxation. It's not surprising then that most people say they'd like to travel more than they do. What's keeping them from fulfilling that desire? Well, one obstacle, especially these days, is that the high price of plane tickets puts flying out of reach.My guest today can help you surmount this obstacle so you can get away more often. His name is Scott Keyes, and he's the founder of Scott's Cheap Flights and the author of Take More Vacations: How to Search Better, Book Cheaper, and Travel the World. Today on the show, Scott shares how scoring cheap flights can help you travel more often, the advantages of taking more frequent vacations, and the psychological benefit of planning your trips well in advance. We then get into the misconceptions people have about ticket pricing. From there we turn to Scott's strategies for booking cheap flights, beginning with why he recommends adopting a "Flight First" rather than "Destination First" approach. Scott shares the "Goldilocks" time window when cheap flights are most likely to pop up, the benefits of building flexibility into your itinerary, the days that are typically cheapest to fly, and his favorite search site to look for flights. He also explains how to use the 24-hour rule and Southwest Airlines as arbitrage in getting better prices on your tickets, and how to employ what he calls the "Greek Islands Strategy" to save money when flying internationally. We end our conversation with how to take advantage of "mistake fares," and whether the high prices you're seeing this summer are here to stay.Connect With Scott KeyesScott's Cheap FlightsScott on Twitter
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Jun 13, 2022 • 1h 11min

How to Turn a Boy Into a Man

A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world.Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage.My guest today didn't want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he's the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing "The Day Your Son Leaves Home" exercise. We then discuss how old Jon's son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a "severing dinner" with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the "5 Shifts of Manhood." Jon shares how moving his son's focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son's journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: The Importance of FathersAoM Article: The Importance of Male Rites of PassageAoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the WorldAoM Article & Podcast: Man’s Need for RitualAoM Series on the origins, elements, and future of manhoodAoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in MindAoM Article: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up WellJames HollisAoM Article: Carry the FireArt of Manliness' Carry the Fire Zippo LighterAoM Article: What Is Manliness?AoM Podcast #527 With Richard RohrThe Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip and Dan HeathThe Way of Men by Jack DonovanAoM Podcast #49 With Jack DonovanAoM Series on the Four Archetypes of the Mature MasculineAoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should KnowAoM Article: 80+ Quotes on Men & ManhoodConnect With Jon TysonPrimal PathJon on TwitterJon on IG
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Jun 8, 2022 • 46min

Why We Like Puzzles, and What We Get From Them

Puzzles may seem like fairly pedestrian pastimes — fun ways to while away a rainy afternoon. And while they certainly do make for satisfying diversions, my guest would say they're also more than that, and can teach us plenty about life as well.His name is A.J. Jacobs, and he's the author of The Puzzler: One Man's Quest to Solve the Most Baffling Puzzles Ever, from Crosswords to Jigsaws to the Meaning of Life. Today on the show, A.J. explains what makes a puzzle a puzzle, and why we're drawn to them and enjoy them so much. We then discuss the charm of certain puzzles, from crosswords and Rubik's Cubes, to jigsaws and mazes. Along the way, we discuss some of the strategies behind solving these puzzles, and how these strategies can help you become an all-around better thinker and decision maker, and better at navigating the puzzling dilemmas of life itself.Resources Related to the PodcastA.J.'s previous appearance on the podcast — Episode #53: Experimenting With Your LifeMaki Kaji — the father of SudokuAoM Article: The Best Riddles for KidsA.J.'s wife's scavenger hunt company, Watson AdventuresWordplayThe Great Vermont Corn MazeTanya Khovanova's Math BlogKryptos — art sculpture with encrypted code on the grounds of the CIAApopheniaSunday Firesides: Take It Bird by BirdConnect With A.J. JacobsA.J.'s WebsiteA.J. on Twitter
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Jun 6, 2022 • 46min

The Surprising Science Behind Building Stronger Relationships

We've all heard by now just how important strong relationships are to our health and well-being. But a lot of the common advice and conventional wisdom out there about how to build stronger relationships doesn't end up taking us closer to that goal.My guest today has spent years sorting through what really builds better friendships, reignites love, and helps people get closer to others, and he shares these research-backed insights in his new book: Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong. Eric shares what he's learned today on the show, beginning with why we're good at figuring out someone's personality from the moment we meet them, but bad at reading their thoughts and feelings, and how to get better at the latter by making other people more readable, as well as how to make a better first impression yourself. We then turn to what makes friendship a unique relationship that makes us uniquely happy, and the two "costly signals" that most develop friendship. We also get into why friends we feel ambivalent about are actually worse for us than outright enemies. We spend the last part of our conversation on how the modern age is both the worst and the best time for marriage, and how the key to ensuring that yours is one of the happiest in history is maintaining positive sentiment override.Resources Related to the PodcastEric's previous appearance on the show: #322 — Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) WrongAoM Article & Podcast: Why Your First Impression MattersAoM Podcast: #567: Understanding the Wonderful, Frustrating Dynamic of FriendshipHow to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale CarnegieAoM Podcast #772: How Long Does It Take to Make Friends?Arthur Aron's 36 Questions That Lead to LoveThe All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli FinkelAoM Articles: Why the Secret of a Happy, Successful Marriage Is Treating It Like a Bank Account and The Best Ways to Fund Your Relationship Bank AccountAoM Article & Podcast: How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage MeetingConnect With Eric BarkerEric's Website

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