On Attachment

In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves.  We cover:how anxiously attached people hold themselves to standards of perfection as a way to gain and keep someone's interesthow avoidantly attached people use perfectionism & criticism as a distancing strategy to avoid intimacy & vulnerabilitywhat happens when these strategies collide in an anxious-avoidant dynamicHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)We'll cover:why it's normal to feel hurt by a partner moving on faster than we dowhy it's so important to monitor the stories we tell ourselves post break-upreasons why people process break-ups differentlyhow anxious vs avoidant people tend to move through the break-up periodHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotionally healthy your relationship is.  And most importantly, what you can do to improve the emotional state of your relationship - because let's face it, this is going to be a work in progress for most of us. We cover:voicing needs, concerns & boundariesnavigating life's challenges as a teamability to safely & effectively repair after conflictfeeling loved, cared for & respectedhow your nervous system can give you insight into your relationship's emotional healthHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

"We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Today's episode is a community Q&A, and I'm answering a hard question about rebuilding after discovering a breach of trust. We'll talk through:Things to look for when deciding whether to stay & rebuild after infidelityThe importance of the other person taking ownership & responsibility for the harm caused What it really takes to rebuild trustRecommended resourcesFor a deeper dive on deciding whether to stay or go, check out Episode 19 of the show (Should I Stay or Should I Go?).Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for rebuilding after a long-term relationship ends. Let's face it: break-ups are painful at the best of times. But when the relationship was a long-term one, it can be even more challenging to navigate our "new" life without our ex in it. I'll be sharing tips to support you through the life cycle of your break-up - from the initial grieving process all the way through to re-entering the dating world. We cover:How to grieve your break-up in a healthy wayWhy it's important to have support people around youUsing your break-up as an opportunity to spring clean your lifeHow to step outside your comfort zone Tips for starting to date againHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In this episode, I'm answering a question I receive all the time which is: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so that we can start doing the work?" We cover: The importance of being honest & self-aware about our intentions in introducing a partner to personal development workNavigating anxious attachment tendencies around the saviour complex, over-functioning and taking responsibility for what's not oursWhy "the work" might look different for everyone How to approach conversations about relational growth in a productive, balanced & healthy wayHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In this episode, we're talking all about apologies - and specifically, why they might feel so hard sometimes. Being able to apologise is so fundamental to healthy repair, but for many of us, can feel inexplicably challenging. After listening to today's episode, my hope is that you'll have greater clarity around why apologies can feel so hard, and how to address the underlying resistance so you can foster greater connection and emotional maturity in your relationships. What we cover:Why apologies can feel so hardWhat to do when we feel unseen and misunderstoodThe difference between intent and impactHow people-pleasing & perfectionism can hold us back from taking responsibility Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

We often speak about the many ways in which anxious and avoidantly attached people differ in their relationship styles. But in this episode, I'm flipping the script and highlighting some similarities between these so-called conflicting styles. We cover relationship fears, boundaries, vulnerability, conflict and more - and my hope is that you'll walk away with a greater capacity to approach yourself and the people in your life with curiosity and compassion. Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt. Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website