On Attachment

#64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics

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Apr 12, 2023
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INSIGHT

Criticism in Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics

  • Both anxious and avoidant individuals use criticism in relationships.
  • They use it as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect, although motivations differ.
INSIGHT

Anxious Criticism as Protest

  • Anxious individuals use criticism as a protest behavior when they feel unable to reach their partners.
  • This stems from feeling threatened by withdrawal, leading to escalating protest behaviors.
ANECDOTE

Personal Anecdote: Criticism in Conflict

  • Stephanie Rigg shares a personal anecdote of criticizing a withdrawing partner during conflict.
  • Driven by panic and fear of unresolved pain, the criticism aimed to make him understand her hurt.
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