On Attachment

When a relationship ends without warning, it’s common to feel blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt. This is often labelled the “avoidant discard” — but while that term might feel validating in the moment, it can also keep you stuck in a disempowering story.In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process a sudden ending in a way that honours your pain without leaving you tethered to it. We’ll explore:Why shock and lack of closure can intensify heartbreakThe difference between feeling discarded and being discardedHow villain/victim narratives can hold you back from real healingThe impact of online echo chambers on your recoveryPractical steps to reclaim your agency and move forwardThis isn’t about minimising what you’ve been through. It’s about finding a more grounded, self-responsible way to engage with what happened — so you can process it fully, integrate the lessons, and step into your next chapter with clarity and self-respect.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

Ever look back at your dating history and realise you’ve basically been in the same relationship over and over again — just with different people? Maybe you thought you’d learned the lessons, yet somehow the same dynamics keep playing out.In this episode, we’re unpacking why these patterns form, why they feel so hard to break, and how you can start shifting them. We’ll explore how your early experiences shape an unconscious “blueprint” for love, how your nervous system pulls you toward what feels familiar (even when it’s not healthy), and the beliefs that keep certain dynamics on repeat.I’ll walk you through a process for spotting your own relational through-lines, interrupting the cycle, and expanding your capacity for the kind of steady, reciprocal love you deserve.Whether you’re in the thick of another “same story, different person” relationship or reflecting on past patterns, this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and practical steps to move toward something different.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on our self-worth, our nervous system, and our ability to grow. We’ll also explore what it looks like to relate to ourselves differently: to meet our inner critic with compassion rather than fear, and to begin the process of forgiving ourselves for the things we wish we’d done differently.In this episode, we’ll cover:The role of the inner critic and what it’s really trying to doWhy punishing yourself doesn’t lead to growth (and what does)Why self-forgiveness can be so difficultHow to hold responsibility without collapsing into shamePractical ways to begin softening your inner critic and making peace with your pastHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

Dive into the intriguing world of how attachment styles shape our friendships. Explore why feeling anxious or hurt in friendships can be just as profound as in romances. Discover the dynamics of anxious, avoidant, and fearful avoidant individuals and how they influence interactions. Learn the importance of honest communication for overcoming conflicts and deepening connections. Reflect on your own friendship experiences and find strategies to navigate your emotional needs with clarity and compassion.

Ending a relationship can unearth deep wounds, especially for those with anxious attachment. Discover the importance of grieving fully and differentiating it from mere rumination. Learn how the stories we tell ourselves shape our suffering post-breakup. Embrace powerful self-closure and the lessons learned for future relationships. This journey isn’t just about surviving heartbreak but finding your way back to clarity and compassion. Heal with intention and courage, whatever your breakup history.

A deep dive into self-acceptance reveals practical ways to foster self-love. The discussion emphasizes identifying misalignments with personal values and the power of boundaries in building self-trust. Listeners learn to recognize toxic influences in their lives and the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. Engaging with actionable steps, the focus shifts from abstract self-love to cultivating a version of oneself that inspires pride and authenticity.

In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us.We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us.Whether you’re deep in your healing journey or just beginning to explore your inner world, this conversation is a reminder that we’re not defined by our past — and that we have the power to tell a new story.Connect with Lael StoneInstagram: @laelstoneWebsite: laelstone.com.auPurchase Lael's new book, Own Your StoryHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs.In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support security, growth, and genuine connection.What we cover in this episode:How consistency supports nervous system regulation and builds trust over timeThe importance of emotional validation in helping you feel understood and connectedWhy clear and reliable communication matters more than constant contactThe role of safe conflict in creating long-term security and repairHow having a shared vision helps settle the fear of uncertainty and misalignmentWhether you’re currently dating or in a relationship, this episode will help you get clearer on what’s supportive for you — and how to recognise when your needs are being met versus when you’re stuck in a cycle of over-functioning or hoping for crumbs.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning.Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance.We’ll cover:Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partner who can self-regulate rather than emotionally offloadHow clear, direct, and honest communication builds safetyThe value of each partner having a full, meaningful life outside the relationshipWhy pacing matters — and how moving too fast can trigger shutdownBalancing lightness and heaviness Whether you’re avoidant yourself or in a relationship with someone who is, this episode will help you better understand the conditions that allow these relationships to thrive.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website

Explore the intricate dance between the fear of abandonment and self-abandonment in relationships. Discover how anxious attachment can lead to neglecting your own needs while striving for connection. Delve into the costs of disconnecting from your truth and the vital importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself. Uncover why recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing and developing more authentic connections.