On Attachment #215: Resentment, Real Repair, Conflict Avoidance & Navigating Dating With Kids — ft. James ‘Fish’ Gill
Nov 20, 2025
James ‘Fish’ Gill, a relationship coach and author, shares insights on navigating conflict and enhancing communication. He discusses the importance of recognizing unmet needs in relationships and how unresolved pain can linger even after conflicts are addressed. Fish highlights techniques for expressing feelings without blame and emphasizes the value of mutual skill-building to address disputes. He also addresses the complexities of dating with kids, offering strategies to harmonize parenting differences while strengthening connections.
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Conflict As A Path To Depth
- Conflict reveals unmet needs and is the pathway to deeper connection when handled well.
- Avoid treating conflict as failure; see it as opportunity to illuminate hidden longings.
Make Pain Digestible
- Make your pain digestible when you speak so others can respond instead of getting defensive.
- Practice self-attunement to meet your own pain when others cannot provide it.
Practice Self-Attunement
- Do self-attunement: name your feeling and longings and offer yourself compassionate recognition.
- Use that inner steadiness to be less reactive and more responsive in relationships.
